Rock Star Day

Rachel- "Today is Rock Star day."
Me- "Really?"
Rachel- "Yep, and since I am a rock star everyone has to be nice to me."
Me- "umm..ok."

One hour later.....
Me- "Hello rock star."
Rachel- "You didn't say Hannah Montana Rock Star."
Me "Sorry, Hello Hannah Montana Rock Star."
Rachel smiles.

Couple hours later....
Me- "Hey, Hannah Montana Rock Star."
Rachel - "Mommy, I am NOT a rock star anymore. I am a princess."
Apparently I will never be in the loop.

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So what is up? With me, I am tired. I know, isn't everyone. But I am SO happy to point out that this is the last day of January. And although I have been trying to be all positive and all, but I am ready for the calendar to move it on!

School has been crazy busy. We have started Guided Reading. And although I think it yields amazing results for little guys (and gals) it is a ton of work. I have to plan and do 8 new centers a week. Until March when we plan 16 a week! I have to think of them, get all of the materials ready. Plus get plans ready for 6 individual reading group lessons. I am not complaining cause truly I LOVE my job. I get to hang out with an awesome group of little people who are growing in leaps and bounds but I am tired! Plus I am tying to keep my plans ahead a couple of weeks!

Which is why I didn't feel to bad about chilling out for most of today. I have been feeling under the weather. I have a lump in my throat that I am not sure what is going on? I don't know if it is wisdom teeth related or not? I have an appointment coming.

And I am very close to being 10 pounds from my original weight loss goal. That is where I was when I got pregnant with Rachel. That means I am 20 pounds from my ultimate goal. Where I was before William. I am working at it! I am on day 14 of the shr*ed. And looking to what I will do next. It feel nice to be moving in the right direction at least!

And last but not least we went to our house meeting. I can't believe I could sit there and just PICK what I wanted. We are quite a ways away but step one went well!

promise me forever

William walked into the room with a glass of milk. Since I was the only one home I asked him where he got the milk? He answers "well, ya know mom, I am almost 6." Then I just stare at him. "Oh no, no, no. Not 6. I have dealt with kindergarten and the school bus but you are not turning 6. Pinky promise me you will stay 5 forever." And Will answers with his always answer. "I don't know about that one." I fake pout and Will said "Mommy, what if I pinky promise that I will love you forever?" And with that I saw him at 16. A grown-up little man. And me reminding him that he promised that he will love me forever. He is my first one. The one who made me a mother. And I guess he can turn 6 soon if he promises to love me forever.

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So.....with Rachel. Tonight I asked her to get me a spoon and she of course ignored me. Luke said "I get you one mommy." Again, why I love my boys. I said thanks Luke. No thanks Rachel. And she says to me, " I only listen to my best friend Dad." And doesn't THAT just say it all.

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I finished level 1 today. I move to level 2 tomorrow in the sh.red. Getting frustrated. Feel like I am not making much progress. Sigh... Hopefully things improve.

This is why...

a mom can't take a shower when husband is on night shift...

and this isn't even half of it...the stove, the wall, the countertop, the bathroom door...

small chunks

I like things in small chunks. I feel like I can handle them better. When I am pregnant, I always divide even the trimesters up into smaller chunks. I remember when I was pregnant with Will I even made a chart I would color. Yeah, that's me.

So today I did day 5. That is half way through level 1 on the Sh*red. Now, they have 3 levels (hence the 30 days) but I like looking at it this way. Sounds better than I am on day 5 of 30!! So far so good. It is still hard and I worked out at 9 pm last night, but I am still doing it! Tomorrow is my week one weigh in at school. Little nervous about that one. Still looking for a better eating plan.

On to other news...when I was growing up, my dad would always say to me "I hope you have a child just like you." And I hardly think he meant my GPA or love of reading. So, I am trying to find something and I ask Rachel to please go get her sister a toy as she was fussing. No answer. So I request a little louder. Rachel is ignoring me. First, this takes a second to register. Then I pull out the middle name and tell her I am about to call her father. *side note- what is up with the fear of daddy. He just has to say her name and she listens??* Anyhow, she looks at me and says with hands on hips "fine, MU-TH-ER." Are you kidding me? At 4. She was on the time out chair for a trip. But oh she is so much like me. Only cuter. So this could be trouble. Like she was leaving daycare the other day and a BOY yelled "bye Rachel I love you." And she smiles and waves. I said "who was that?" She shruggs. "I don't know." Now, that she doesn't get from me, but goodness.

a dream

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am a very practical person. Scott would say pessimist. I think he is the dreamer. He is the one who makes the big plans. I used to then quickly tell him why his plan would never work or be doomed to failure. But since I am trying to be a better wife (wink) I now let him go on and dream. I smile and say "yeah, maybe."

So when I came home from work one day and said "we should build a new house" he about fell on the floor. Every once in awhile we would joke and say "when we build our dream house..." but never was serious. Then I began to think...

My mom has a plot of land beside her house. Hence, no land cost. We could build next to her. She wouldn't be lonely and the kids would be thrilled. We would be right there to help her with what she needed. She doesn't drive in the winter and we could go to the store together. So I prayed about it. And I began to feel more confident about the idea. And then I told Scott. Who thinks it is a super idea.

We have an appointment to meet with a house guy on the 30th! We would have to sell our house now and get so many things in order. Normally, I wouldn't even attempt such an undertaking. But I need to start taking steps of faith when I know that is where God is leading. I don't do that as much now that I am adult. I like safe. I like things working out as I planned them.

But sometimes God takes our wildest dreams and actually makes them come true. Like a bathroom right off my bedroom and a fireplace in the family room. So friends and family, I would appreciate your prayers as we see if doors will open and allow this to happen!

sunday, sunday

I exercised. That makes day 2 for those of you keeping track, and oh trust me am I keeping track! I didn't want to do it. I was tired and felt yuck. But I got my butt of the couch and did it. Of course I am glad I did cause I feel better. Like I am really TRYING to do this. I still don't feel good about my whole eating thing. I try and tell myself little steps.

Anyways, we went to church for the first time in 3 weeks. In church I was rocking Bella and looking at her. My goodness is she getting big. It is not that my other angels aren't but with a baby it is on fast forward. She is grabbing my necklace. Looking up at me. Then she fell asleep in my arms. What an absolute joy to be holding her. Such a precious face.

No school tomorrow. I have a drs appointment in the morning and then we are going shopping to get William some pants! I hate shopping but it can't be avoided!

Day 1 (again)

Here I am on day 1 of weight loss goal. Now, I have a little motivation. I joined a group at work. Every Thursday we weigh ourselves. We paid 12 dollars to start. When you weigh in, if you have stayed the same, you pay 50 cents. If you gain, you pay a dollar. We have 15 weeks. We keep track of our progress and see who is the "big*gest lo*ser." I have added a ticker so I can update it every Thursday.

Now, 17.2 pounds is my first goal. That will be where I was pre-baby Rachel. I really want to lose 10 pounds after that. But my first goal, wanted to look at and feel ok about. 27.2 is a little daunting to think about.

So today I started the 30 day shred (again), I hope to do it EVERYDAY. But sometimes fitting it in is a problem. I will try my best. I am not adding the treadmill again yet. I feel like I may have over done it in November. I am going to work on this first.

I wish I had a plan for the diet. I did do up a chart (cause I am crazy like that). I will mark what I eat and what I do for exercise. I have thought about weigh*t Wat*chers online. For now I am going to try and calorie count. I only drink water and no calorie stuff. Except for coffee at time. And sometimes I NEED it.

Let's see how it goes!

Has anyone heard...

IT IS A LONG WEEKEND!!! And Scott is on the middle of his off time at work. aaahhhhh... I told you life is good. I bought stuff for him to make his homemade hot wings. The b-e-s-t. Maybe we can rent some movies and just chill. Nice.

puzzle

Isn't marriage an insane concept? Before I was married I am sure I didn't think much into it. I know I didn't. All you think about is diamond ring, the right dress, the first dance, and what kind of cake to have. Sure I thought about what life would be like after the wedding. We would live happily ever after.

But a couple of months *weeks,uumm, days, cough* into it, you begin to see that marriage is not always all sunshine and roses. You have 2 selfish people (we all are people) trying to live together and make the most of it. You like the toliet paper rolling this way and I like it that way. You sleep with the tv on and I need it off. We have two totally different versions of the word "clean." Pretty soon you get to think, holy moly, single people have the life.

I thought of all this a couple of night ago when Scott and I were doing night devotions. We are doing "The Love Dare" day by day- 365 devotions. The name of the devotion was "Love brings Completeness." Here is a quote from it "The Lord knew before you were born that you would one day marry your mate. And in His design of your gender differences and uniqueness, God intentionally created needs in both of you that the other would be exclusively designed to help meet." I thought about this a lot. My mate (which is Scott) was made to meet specific needs for me. And I was made to meet specific needs for him. We complete a puzzle.

And then the next paragraph made me think some more. "The devil's desire is to use your distinctiveness to push you apart-to operate independently-as though what your spouse brings to you is unnecessary." Many times things are all in how you look at it.

I do the bills in our house. The bookkeeping I guess. Now, I could look at it like this is another responsibility. I am in charge of it all. Or I could look it as God made me a good organizer and planner. Therefore, I can help Scott by taking care of this. I am more experienced in this area so I can serve our marriage in this way.

Scott is much much better with people. I have social anxiety. I get very nervous talking to people. Scott can talk to sales people, bank people, or just about anyone. He is this part of us. The social one who can meet needs with other people. He could get frustrated with me and think what is her problem? Why can't she just talk to people. Or he could see it as a blessing that he has a gift that I do not.

The application of this devotional was pretty straight forward to me. Start looking for ways that my life is blessed because Scott is the way he is. Because he is the patient one. The one who can fix things and teach me to laugh and play more. Look for ways in which I can compliment him. I can think ahead. Plan for things. Even things as simple as doing the cooking.

Two pieces of the same puzzle.

Here is to the good stuff

I think I have been doing pretty good on my New Year thing about not complaining! And I must admit, the fact that the sun is shining is pretty sweet. So a list of good things in no particular order...

1. Scott made some amazing soup today. And bought soft bread with it.
2. I joined a weight loss thing at work. Maybe that will motivate my butt!
3. Got some good news about some found money.
4. Scott rented me House season 1 on DVD.
5. We are talking about building a new house. yea!

and have I mentioned the sun and not a flake in the sky??

Life is good!

kids

Playing Mario Wii

Scott- "Will, put yourself in a bubble."

Will- "I can't. Uncle Doug says it isn't manly to put yourself in a bubble."

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Rachel- "Baby Bella is the most beautiful girl in the world."

Me- "What about you? I thought you were the most beautiful girl?"

Rachel- "Mom, I am a princess. She is the little girl."

Attack of the germs

I started on day 1 again of fitness journey and then I got sick. Not puking my guts out sick. But nose dripping, head cold, chest pain, and regular just want to stay in bed. My plan is to start again today...we shall see how that goes. Man, I need some motivation.

The week was snowy and cold. Cold and snowy. I only was at school for 3 days this week. I had a science conference to attend on wood and paper. It was actually really nice and I went with a fabulous teacher. Perhaps if I get time I can post on her today, but I can't say how much I admire her. She is amazing.

This week has been full of tissues and hot tea. Today I am making pig in the blankets for Scott. Why do I voluenteer to do this? We have been doing the love dare 365 devotionals and I also have a post on relationships too. Perhaps I will get to that? But right now, cabbage is calling!

Blue Monday

Yesterday I was sad. Break was ending and I had to go back to work. And Scott was starting night shift and I felt lonely. I started to get everyone's stuff out. The night before work I always lay out the kids clothes for the next day, make sure all coats, hats, gloves are ready, all kids bathed, and ready for bed. Then we got a 2 hour delay which was nice. But when I got up in the morning, there was the sadness. I have always hated snow. Even as a kid. So the snow makes me feel depressed. Sort of like a blanket covering. Here I had to get my kids up and dressed. And go out in the cold. Then we struggled to even reach the van. Then I did my 3 different drop offs. Then off to school.

I shouldn't complain. I love my job. I really really do. I honestly would never want to do anything else. I feel I am good at it. I also stand firm in our decision to have me work. Different things work for different families. This works for us. The fact that my schedule follows my kids and I get all summer off is wonderful. I get a nice Christmas break. My income allows things like not worrying about heat and things.

Then I heard someone say today is called "Blue Monday." The day after the holidays were people tend to feel sad. And although I am not one to miss the holiday, I do miss hanging out with the kids. Playing wii and eating when we want. No schedule and just relaxing. A combination I think of the snow and going back.

So for tonight, I am going to put the kids in bed, make a cup of hot tea, and read a good book. Tomorrow is another day.

And for fun.....

Monday Review-
1. Believe the 4 year old when she says she is going to pee her pants
2. The first day back from break is rough for kindergartners (and their teacher!)
3. I am so thankful for heat...
4. 74 days until spring

Well, that sucked

In keeping with my losing weight, today I decided to start my 30 day shred again. Scott headed to night shift and I thought that surely it wouldn't be as hard starting the second time around....Boy was I wrong. Again, day one and I wanted to die. Or cry. Or both. Before I started I thought I may also jump on the treadmill. Unless a miracle happens, that is out. My legs feel like jello.

In November I did the 30 day shred. I lose 5 pounds. In December, I didn't have time but I DID get an ulcer on my tongue which made it quite hard to eat/drink anything. I lost 7 pounds. UUmmm...if only we didn't have to eat huh? :)

On another note, it was so cold in this house this morning that my furnace couldn't even keep up. So Scott started a coal fire, but now he is at work. He told me to go upstairs and run all the electric heaters if it gets bad...ugh! With all the kids? I am not a fan of winter. at all!

On the blessing side of everything, Scott got to work safe and we have oil and coal. We are all healthy, and I can drink some hot tea. I have a job to go to tomorrow and the kids got warm new winter coats. Looks like we are quite blessed. See how I turned my complaining about winter into something positive. haha

To nothingness

Since Scott had to get up at 3:30 am to go to work on New Year's Day, we were home- actually I would have been home anywayz. We were in bed by 10:30. One of these new years we are going to have a party and have some fun...one of these years.

We went to my mom's house for New Year's Day. Since Scott was working, we sat around and did a whole lot of nothing. Which I find fabulous. Now, today it looks like a blanket of white outside (and we know how I feel about that) so I am thinking nothing sounds good for today too.

However, some things of value must get done. Like I have to balance the checkbook (gag), and finish my school plans. I guess I may have to cook something. But overall, a day of nothing to finish off my break sure sounds nice.