Dearest Cody,

 December 30, 2021- evening sky

I am not sure if you'll get this, but I'm asking God to deliver it priority mail. Maybe by angels. But this is what I do when I have too big of emotions. I write.  Say hi to Gram Jean for me. She loved you so very very much.  Maybe she has a butter bread waiting for ya! Tell my Dad hello since you were birthday buddies. I want you to know you will always be with us. When someone lives in your heart they never really leave you, I remember you being such a smart kid. Your mom was so proud of you. I also remember when my car broke down and you offered to take me to work. I told you no, but you said get in. When we got there and you dropped me off, I said thank you so much and you said no thanks needed. Because that was you. "No thanks needed." A good hearted one of a kind guy. We will try our best to help each other out. Fill in the gaps. But no one ever can fully fill in the Cody gap. We love you. So much. Not we loved you. But we LOVE you. Because I know you are in paradise with no more sickness, death, or pain. Eternal love. We are the ones who get the short end of the stick.  We live here still. Without you.  Even though it hurts so much, we know you get a jumpstart on paradise. I know if you can you'll be watching out for us. Like always. I love you Cody. God speed. 

Ode to Pastor Roy and Janice Gearhart

 

This picture is everything. I seriously get choked up over it. The man in the front and the woman in the back row three people over literally changed the trajectory of my life (With the Holy Spirit of course).

We have a  little white church on top of the hill here where I love and it shares a Pastor with another church in another town. These two people started a youth group. He PASTORED and DID THE YOUTH. Trust me, we were quite the bunch and he put up with his fair share for sure. I know quite the crown awaits Roy and Janice Gearhart in heaven. We were a small group on top of the hill. We met once a week. Sometimes there would be 2 kids sometimes more, but they KEPT SHOWING UP! Trust me, we had zero interest in discussing God, Jesus, the Bible, or anything of the sort. We just wanted to hang out. THEY KEPT SHOWING UP! They introduced us to Christian music and took us places. They showed the love of Christ through sleepovers, pancakes, and hikes. They loved us at our most selfish and unlovable time in our lives (hello middle school and high school.) 

One day they asked if we wanted to go to camp. I did not have the money or the want to. They raised money for us to go. That little white church said to us YOU ARE WORTH IT! Pastor Roy convinced us to go. And Guys.......I GOT SAVED. 

From there I have shared the gospel by becoming a counselor my self at Christian camp. My whole family got saved! My kids are saved. Roy and Janice broke generational curses (with Jesus of course) BY JUST SHOWING UP FOR US. 

I don't remember one lesson Pastor Roy taught. But I do remember Janice and His love. Oh how they loved us. Pastor Roy gave me my first Bible. Who would I be if they were too busy? If they thought us too difficult. If they didn't love us so well. I pray they know how much they mean to us. Everyone of us were impacted by their love of Jesus. 

NOW- Scott and I used to be youth leaders ourselves. We loved it. Took kids on trips, did worship, and gave them the word. Then we started moving around and well, 5 kids and all. I have 4 children who are youth group aged. They don't want preached at by mom again. 

Listen, if you are in a church that does not have a youth group, I plead with you to step up. I am not talking to Pastor's here because they got plenty on their plate. We need people who will LOVE our children. That is the only requirement. There are lessons on line and games. But let them gather and talk over the hard stuff and get out their Bibles. 

Today more than ever we need our kids in church and learning the word. Learning the TRUTH. The have so many falsehoods coming from all angles. They need truth and they need loved. Please, please consider what you could do for this ministry. If you already have a youth leader - AWESOME- give them a starbucks card. Maybe offer to drive, or donate money to the youth. If that little white church on the hill wouldn't have helped pay, I never would have made it to camp. MAYBE God would have caught me another way in time. But I was already heading down a not so great path. Even if you single out your youth and say hello. Ask them questions. Connect with them so they know they are wanted there. 

People- we got to get our kids. If we think that they are going to be just ok with no church and no youth then the world culture will gladly and effortlessly snatch them away. We are the heads in our house. I decided a long time ago "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." My kids may get tired of my quoting scripture at them, or hanging  it all over the house. I may be a different kind of mom, but my kids are going to KNOW Jesus or I'll die trying. 

But I need your help. Your church needs your help. You could be the one. Your choice could impact generations. Please, pray, and consider showing up. 

Roy and Janice Gearhart- I love you both with all my heart. I know you have heard me say it before but I'll say it again- Thank-you for showing up and loving us. 

mix match

I got a new pair of green beautiful ear rings. So my whole Christmas outfit was built around those. Green dress, necklace, and ring- check. I also grabbed a fancy silver bracelet to flare it up. Except I didn't notice the bracelet wasn't solid silver. It had tiny flecks of purple. I looked down at it and thought "oh no" and almost took it off but then something stopped me short. Purple...the color of Easter.

Mark 15:17 
And they clothed His body with purple, and platted a crown of thorns and put it on His head

Mark 15:20 And when they had mocked Him, they took off the purple from Him and put on His own clothes on Him and led Him out to crucify Him.

Purple- The color of royalty. The color they used to mock His claim that He was truly a king, but not of this world. Oh Jesus. Sometimes in the celebration of your birth we forget that you, Your Father, and the Holy Spirit knew the end before the beginning. 

Wrapped in swaddling clothing at birth and wrapped in swaddling clothing in death. A borrowed manger and a borrowed tomb. An eternity behind him and an eternity before him.

Oh Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. That famous song that is sung throughout the Christmas season "Mary did you know?" I am not sure what all she knew, but I am certain Jesus understood the assignment. He knew he would be mocked, deserted, beaten, and finally killed. He came anyway. 

I imagine the Father looking at the Son. The Son staring into the darkness. "I'll go." No hesitation. No shaking voice. No looking back. His people needed Him to be the bridge and if that meant he went from a God Head to a baby who needed his diaper changed, so be it. 

With Adam, the gauntlet was thrown down. With Jesus birth, challenge was accepted and victory was coming. BUT not before he had to make it from the beginning to the end. Today we celebrate the beginning of the greatest redemption story of all time. . "The weary world rejoicing." Finally, the Messiah has come.  But Jesus knows what is coming for Him. Who is coming for Him. What has Him in His sights. He came down anyway.

My bracelet with my tiny purple gems reminded me that in the celebration of Christmas may we not forget why He was coming. How will it finish? With the end of death, sin, pain, sickness, and every other plague this world counters with. BUT FIRST. He has to come. He has to decide to come even when he knows what awaits.  He did it. For me and you and NEVER looked back.

He didn't have to come. But He did. Thank-you my sweet, precious Savior for coming even when I don't deserve it or could ever pay you back. We needed you. So you came. Thank-you. 

 

 

Shepherds who had nothing

 Hallelujah means God be Praised!

"That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared among them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. "Don't be afraid. I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior- yes, the Messiah, the Lord has been born today in Bethlehem , the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: you will find a baby wrapped snuggly in strips of cloth lying in a manger." Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others- the armies of heaven- praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on Earth to those with whom God is pleased." Luke 2:8-14

The ABSOLUTE greatest news in history, and who does God go to first. The Shepards. The lowest rung on the social ladder. The ones who had nothing to bring. Not only does God just show them in a dream or by a star, but he bring out THOUSANDS of angels to sing and shine and declare. 

The ones who had nothing to bring. No gift of gold or mirth here. What can they bring him? The Glory He deserves and then testifying about it to everyone they meet. The same as today! 

That is so our God. He isn't looking for the most prestige, influencers. He is looking for men who would hear the  news, believe it, run to see it, and then spread the news. They "told everyone what had happened." vs 17.  No embarrassment about being thought of as crazy or delusional.  They saw it and they shared it. 

A shepherd. - Later in scripture Jesus tells His people He is the Good Shepard and His sheep will only listen to his voice. Our God. Always lifting up the lowly. Always exalting those who never asked for it. A God of and for the people. 

I read this scripture and closed my eyes. Can you imagine? A vast host of angels- thousands- angels as far as you can see. All singing glory to God. Why? Because He is the God of the highest heaven, 

Why else? Cause Peace is a comin'. The world that has been lost in sin and separated from their Father. The people who just couldn't find their way back home. Peace on Earth to those with whom God is pleased. 

Let Him be your peace this Christmas. Forget the wrapping, baking, decorating, and more. The bible tells us to ponder what is Holy. God telling us all, come to me everyone. 

I know I didn't post as much as I would have liked to (a work in progress) , but as I told you in the beginning of December, the song of the little drummer boy hit me different this year. I never even liked the song previously. Here I spent the whole month pondering "What can I bring Him as poor as I am?" When I walked into the sanctuary of church last week, Little Drummer Boy was playing. We call those God winks in out family. God saying I see you. I know what you are doing. Keep going baby girl. You git this. 

Hallelujah! 

But God

 

But God… It gets me every time. I am reading a good book, and I look at the amount of pages left. “No way are they going to be able to wrap this all up in that amount of time.” Or “This author has backed himself into a corner. No way is he getting out.” But they do! I close the book and say “they did it.” That is how I feel about Christmas. The world was so dark. People had turned to their own fleshly desires and worldly wants. (Almost) everyone had forgotten the God who had parted the red sea and saved them from slavery. No one was worshiping in spirit and truth. It became more of a social gathering than a place of devout worship. The world was dark. Did you think I was speakin g about right before Jesus came? Because I sort of was. But I sort of was talking about this afternoon too. Darkness. The absence of light. Had there not been darkness, the light would not have had to come. Had the author not got his main character into a big heap of trouble, help wouldn’t have to be on the way. Had I just listened to Him in the first place, I wouldn’t be sitting here, in the dark, not able to see my own hands in front of my face. I do so love the story of Mary wrapping her perfect child and laying him in a manger. I love the shepherds getting the first Christmas celebration from the heavenly sky. I love the “unto us a child is given,” You want to know though what my favorite Christmas verse is. John 1:4 “The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” What a promise. What a God. The Bible tells us in John 1:10 that “He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.” Also, John 3:19-20 “And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.” Again, am I talking about December 2021 or 1 A.D. I think both. Time after time, God’s creation got themselves in trouble. They rebelled. They forgot. They went their own way. Every. Single. Time. They ended up stranded in darkness with no way to see or get out. And yet GOD Acts 26:18 “…Yes I am sending you to the Gentiles (all of us who are not Jewish) to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Me.” We put ourselves in the dark. We know better. We can do better. But here we are…. again. I remember doing a bible study of the Old Testament and kept thinking people come on! Over and over we go. Don’t you remember? Has He not shown you? You know what is waiting on the other side of that feel good right now sin. Then it hit me. It’s me. I am an Israelite. I have forgotten the past miracles of God that He has done throughout my whole life. I am the one complaining about the manna he is providing form the goodness of His Father heart. I am the one stumbling in darkness, knocking into stuff, knocking over stuff, and I can’t see. And yet. And God.
It gets me every time. I am reading a good book, and I look at the amount of pages left. “No way are they going to be able to wrap this all up in that amount of time.” Or “This author has backed himself into a corner. No way is he getting out.” But they do! I close the book and say “they did it.” That is how I feel about Christmas. The world was so dark. People had turned to their own fleshly desires and worldly wants. (Almost) everyone had forgotten the God who had parted the red sea and saved them from slavery. No one was worshiping in spirit and truth. It became more of a social gathering than a place of devout worship. The world was dark. Did you think I was speakin g about right before Jesus came? Because I sort of was. But I sort of was talking about this afternoon too. Darkness. The absence of light. Had there not been darkness, the light would not have had to come. Had the author not got his main character into a big heap of trouble, help wouldn’t have to be on the way. Had I just listened to Him in the first place, I wouldn’t be sitting here, in the dark, not able to see my own hands in front of my face. I do so love the story of Mary wrapping her perfect child and laying him in a manger. I love the shepherds getting the first Christmas celebration from the heavenly sky. I love the “unto us a child is given,” You want to know though what my favorite Christmas verse is. John 1:4 “The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” What a promise. What a God. The Bible tells us in John 1:10 that “He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.” Also, John 3:19-20 “And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.” Again, am I talking about December 2021 or 1 A.D. I think both. Time after time, God’s creation got themselves in trouble. They rebelled. They forgot. They went their own way. Every. Single. Time. They ended up stranded in darkness with no way to see or get out. And yet GOD Acts 26:18 “…Yes I am sending you to the Gentiles (all of us who are not Jewish) to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Me.” We put ourselves in the dark. We know better. We can do better. But here we are…. again. I remember doing a bible study of the Old Testament and kept thinking people come on! Over and over we go. Don’t you remember? Has He not shown you? You know what is waiting on the other side of that feel good right now sin. Then it hit me. It’s me. I am an Israelite. I have forgotten the past miracles of God that He has done throughout my whole life. I am the one complaining about the manna he is providing form the goodness of His Father heart. I am the one stumbling in darkness, knocking into stuff, knocking over stuff, and I can’t see. And yet. And God.

That first Christmas and this 2,021 Christmas? He was and is providing us a way out. He is sending light. If we were not so lost in darkness, we would not need the light. Even when we were yet sinners, addicts, foul mouthed, selfish, cruel, and more He sent THE LIGHT. He sent His son to illuminate our life. No longer can I say I didn’t know. I didn’t see. Yes, I do because He sent His very best. He sent His Son, His Light to show us the mess we were in AND how to get out. Now, the world has always loved darkness. It feels right and comfortable until you come to the Lord. So people will hide from the light. They pretend they like their darkness. They find it comforting and where they WANT to be. God knows the truth. They are scared. They are confused. They have forgotten. He keeps sending the Light. Year after Year. Day after Day. Second by second. Because at some point, we see. We SEE. Light has come into the world. The darkness has never, can never, and will never overcome it. Light consumes the darkness until it is no more. Come Lord Jesus. Bringer of the Light. Come. That first Christmas and this 2,021 Christmas? He was and is providing us a way out. He is sending light. If we were not so lost in darkness, we would not need the light. Even when we were yet sinners, addicts, foul mouthed, selfish, cruel, and more He sent THE LIGHT. He sent His son to illuminate our life. No longer can I say I didn’t know. I didn’t see. Yes, I do because He sent His very best. He sent His Son, His Light to show us the mess we were in AND how to get out. Now, the world has always loved darkness. It feels right and comfortable until you come to the Lord. So people will hide from the light. They pretend they like their darkness. They find it comforting and where they WANT to be. God knows the truth. They are scared. They are confused. They have forgotten. He keeps sending the Light. Year after Year. Day after Day. Second by second. Because at some point, we see. We SEE. Light has come into the world. The darkness has never, can never, and will never overcome it. Light consumes the darkness until it is no more. Come Lord Jesus. Bringer of the Light. Come.

A new adventure

 

Hello friends!

I know I have not written daily like originally planned, but still all season long I have been singing the little drummer boy and looking for ways to give to my Savior. The list could go on and on. The funny thing is, up until this year had you asked me about the song of the little drummer boy I would have put it certainly as one of the bottom. But this year, my eyes have been opened to this song like never before. I so want to "play my drum for him." 

I may not have much but whatever He did give me and bless me with I am going to use it for the Glory of God. Because truly when we get down to it, what else matters? I have a wall of quotes next to my bed. My newest one says this "Use me, God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be , and what I can do and use it for a purpose greater than myself. Use me for Your Glory Lord." That's what my heart's desire has become. 

As you know I have written 2 books, available on Amazon. You can order the real copy or on kindle. One is Ashes to Glory- a testimony of God's unwavering love for us and our journey through one of the darkest times of our lives. The second "When Jesus Shows Up- a different kind of bible study" is just that. A different kind of bible study. I make stories from the Bible characters and interweave my own experiences throughout. I recommend getting a real copy of that one because you can write in it. Nothing I like more than a bible study I can write in with my colored pens!

Now, I am entering some new territory. I am a lover of words and a reader to my soul. I am a writer because I believe words are the most powerful weapons we can ever possess. I love to write about my experiences and my faith. I still plan to get better at this and write more when God is leading me to. 

BUT NOW....I am trying something different. It could be a flop or it may be another way my writing can bring Glory to God. I am writing a fiction book. I am nervous. Sort of have the plot outlined but letting God lead me where He would like as I type. 

If you could, pray for me. I want to use my writing to show the love of the Father. Not for my own selfish ambition or gain, but that others may see Him through something I can share. After all, enough people shared in my own life and here I am. 

If you are interested, again my books can make some great Christmas (or New Year Resolution at this point) gifts. I will keep you updated on my fiction book. No title yet. I am on page 53 however. It's new and exciting to step into a new adventure. I just wish to follow wherever He leads. 

As we approach the Christmas Day, to celebrate when the tides of war changed and the Savior was born, I encourage you to find your own "drum." What has He given you that you can share. A talent, financial support, a kind word or hot meal to a grieving or struggling friend? What can we offer this Savior who gave all? We can give Him back was was always His in the first place. Us. Who He created us to be and what we can strive to become. 

The Bible tells us that His sheep recognize His voice and follow Him. They do not follow the voice of the one they don't know. I encourage you to find some quiet place and ask God to lay upon your heart what He has for you to do. He is so faithful. Blessings my friends. 

Do you want to be well?

Silence and time

 

Yesterday I was quiet. I was feeling a little overwhelmed a little too much Christmas a little too much running out of time. So when I thought of what should I give him I was thinking silence. But not in in ignore way or you're not important to me right now way. But in a way sometimes where it's just nice to sit with Jesus without asking for anything we're looking for anything just kind of sitting in silence. Sometimes even that can make things so much clearer. So I guess yesterday's what can I give him was silent time did you sit with him. 

I must say today is not looking so good either I'm probably not the days to come until the holiday is over. But tonight I have my Bible I'm going to be reading looking for some scriptures looking for the truth. Letting his word heal my heart give me direction. I could be just watching murder mystery or maybe playing some stupid phone game or maybe just going to bed but no today I give him my time. It's so easy sometimes to put God on the back burner and deal with everything that's right in our face everyday. And it's so crazy because he should be the center of it all. 

So today I give him my time.

surrender

 

Let me tell you a story.

I had a friend die recently. A friend I loved and looked up to. We were praying for the miracle. The miracle came. He is healed and in paradise. He was told "Good job my good and faithful servant." But it wasn't the miracle I had been praying, praising, begging for. A couple days ago I started to hear the beginnings  of a song we sang believing in a miracle.  I quickly turned it and told my husband I can't sing that for a little bit. I was honest and true when I said God spoke into my heart about trust and I do trust that He works everything- even unto death- for the good of those who love Him. It just wasn't my plan or way. 

So today......BOTH songs I told God I can't sing for awhile played. I seriously looked heavenward and said "really?" Tears streaming down my cheeks I sang them. One was Waymaker. Waymaker. Miracle worker. Promise Keeper. Light in my darkness. My God that is Who You are. And I dropped to my knees. I closed my eyes and I saw myself keep running at a big wooden door. I kept pounding into it with my shoulder. I was crying and begging to be let in, The door splintered. My shoulder was bleeding, but I just kept striking at it desperately. Finally,  I knew it wasn't opening. My body slid down the door and I put my head down and cried. Much in the same way I was in the physical. Then I felt hands in mine and looked up into the face of my Savior. He didn't say a word. He squeezed my hands and then pulled me into a standing position. We turned around and on the other wall was a doorway. Bright and Shining. The light was unreal, unearthly. In that moment, I knew if I were to go through that door my friend would be there. Happy and free. Healed and just where he wanted to be. 

When I opened my eyes,  God spoke into my heart, "I know you trust me, but you need to surrender. You need to give me back what was never yours to carry." Surrender. That is not a word I like or can relate to. I am a battler. A warrior. A do-er. Surrender. Isn't that giving up? I got home and did a little research on the word surrender- cease resistance to an opponent and submit to their authority. I had made God my opponent. My will vs. His. I am do not make bets. I even hate those scratch off tickets. Even I know that if anything is a SURE bet, a sure win, it's betting on God. My will vs His. His will win. 

God is loudly and clearly telling me that He is not my opponent. That is where I had put Him. I am to cease resistance and submit to Him. Which sounds almost elementary, but it goes so deep. Paul tells us in Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I that live..." Galatians 5: 16 (a) So I say let the Holy Spirit guide your lives..." I had that scripture highlighted in my bible, underlined, and the word LET was circled. Not sure when I did that because sometimes I write dates when I get a word, but maybe I didn't write a date that day because that word was for ME TODAY. Theresa Marie, LET Me. 

It maybe cliche, but the more I learn the more I realize all of what I don't know. Do I trust God? Absolutely Does He know the beginning from the end?  He is all knowing Does He always work for my good and has His character proven that "He has this?" Indeed. Every time. 

Surrender. My finances. My vision. My husband and children. My family. My job. My I'm expectations. LET GO.  I am trying so hard to hold onto the wind. Yes Jesus. I surrender. I know I will have moments when I want to snatch it back, but remind me that I surrendered. I will submit to Your authority because you are God and I am so not. 

Matthew 16:25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 

What can I bring Him? Poor as I am? I bring Him my surrender. 

Testimony

 The word of my testimony

I had a childhood friend who loved to argue with me. Ok, we loved to argue with each other.

Both of us were stubborn as the day is long. Sometimes we could argue all day about such stupid and mundane things, but once in a while we got on to the topic of God and does He exist. Even before I personally knew Him, I believed God was present. Even before I gave myself to him, I would argue with this friend about how a Creator has to exist. Then of course he gave me all the reasons on how one couldn’t possibly exist.

Once I had a personal encounter with the living God, I thought I had him. I had proof He was real. I told my friend my personal testimony and he wrote it off as emotional highs and theatrics. I was heartbroken. Because what once was just a battle to be right, was now a battle for a soul. From time to time the topic would come up again, and neither one of us willing to concede any ground. One day, I felt God tell me in my heart, “Have peace. You have told him the Truth. Now it is bringing more division. Have patience.” Every time the subject would come up, I felt at peace and all I would answer was “someday you’ll know.” I’d throw in an occasional “I’m praying for you.” Of which he laughed at.

This is no great conversion story. I have no idea as to where his faith is now. Years and miles separate us and perhaps, if God wills it, we will have a chance to catch up sometime.

Scripture tells us in Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, that you may declare the Praises of Him who called you out of darkness and into his wonderful light.” What can I give Him as poor as I am? I can give Him the word of my testimony.

One of my favorite comedic lines of the bible is when the religious leaders are asking the man who Jesus gave sight to, if the man thought that this healer came from the enemy. The guy actually says, “Whether he is a sinner I do not know. One thing I do know, I was blind, now I see.” John 9:25

It is as simple as that. I was blind but now I see. We sing it in the old hymns and the new worship music. We preach it in the pulpit or in the form of social media. Listen, I was blind. Not seeing life for what it was. I was being deceived on where to put my importance. I was lied to about my value. I was ruled by my ever-shifting feeling, AND YET. Jesus came. Now I see! When I opened my eyes at the alter where I gave my all to Jesus, I remember opening my eyes and everything seemed crisper. Cleaner. Like I really did see differently. But it wasn’t just the physical seeing. I know knew and could “see” in the spiritual.

Many of us go day to day just making it to the next one. Living for the weekend or some vacation or something to fill that void. Many of us will go to our graves without ever having the chance to “see.” One day when I was reading the bible it occurred to me that I would have probably been one of the blind beggars. My eye sight was terrible as a child and has just gotten progressively worse. If I don’t have my glasses on, I see blurs of color. I literally have to reach out and find my glasses by hand on my stand because I can’t see them inches away. That is where so many of us are spiritually. The saddest part is that some of us THINK we are seeing. Maybe just getting by like a flashlight in a darkened room, but what more could you see if I flicked on the light switch.

Testimony is the evidence or proof provided by the existence or appearance of something. No one will escape death. Not one. The truth is that you will meet your Maker face to face. You must decide NOW which path you will follow. The path of the world, which is wide and many are on it and it leads to destruction. OR the path of salvation that is narrow and only few find it.

In Revelations 12, it says the enemy was tossed to the earth after losing his battle with God’s Hosts. The enemy first went after the woman who would give birth to the male child (Jesus), but God protected. Frustrated this demon or dragon then went “off to wage war against the rest of her offspring- those who keep God’s commands and hold fast to their testimony of Jesus.” Rev 12:17 But how are we to be saved? “So, faith comes from HEARING, and hearing through the WORD of God.” Roman 10:17

Those that hold fast to their testimony of Jesus. The words we share about the evidence or proof He has made in my life. He cries out, “Who will tell my story?”

Guys, I could stand with the writers of old to proclaim this truth. “I will praise you to all of my brothers; I will stand up before the congregation and testify of all the wonderful things You have done.” Psalm 22:22. “Come and listen, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what He has done for me.” Psalm 66:16 “I want you all to know about the miraculous signs and wonders the Most High God has performed for me.” Daniel 4:2

There used to be an old TeenMania line that said “How do you know Jesus is real?” The response said “Because He changed my life.” I could tell you stories of how He has provided ways when there was NO WAY. There were times I have felt His comfort and peace. Times that thing worked out so perfectly without any of my intervention. How I wish I could sit with you and share my heart. My faith. What He has done for this sinner who never deserved it and never could earn it.

This Christmas, this is what I bring. The word of my testimony. I could testify like the blind man. This is what I know. I was this way and now I am that. I felt this and then in a moment it all was gone. The Bible says the word of my testimony is powerful so I will continue to tell my story as long as I have the breath to tell it. And probably after that! Not that it would bring a ounce of Glory to me, but all of it to the transforming and REAL power of the blood. “This is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is found in His Son.” 1 John 5:11

What can I give Him? I give Him the word of my testimony.

Praise

 My life is an example to many,

because You have been my strength and protection.

That is why I can never stop praising You,

I declare Your Glory all day long.

Psalm 71:7-8

As we carry on with what we can give to Jesus this season or the pa-rumpa-papum project as I like to call it, it brings to mind a certain offspring of mine who "didn't like to sing the songs in church." Instantly flabbergasted and appalled I didn't know what to say at that moment.  I have been a song girl since I found my Savior. I could spend sun up to sun down singing His praises. I know however God gives us different gifting and blessings but this conversation was not about that. So I asked said child as we were driving home from church, "What can you offer Him?" The child quite confused by my start of the conversation. "Who?" "Jesus- the one who came to Earth to suffer and die for your sins so you can live in no fear of damnation. What can I offer him back?" "Not a lot you can get God," my child said. -Oh but how wrong he was as we will see at the end of all this. I tried to explain it like this, "You are right. It can be a group of songs we sing to get to the message. You can sing the words or maybe not. Go through the motions. How do you feel?" "Same." "See here is where our paths diverge "(yes this is the vocab I use with my kids. I am weird.  

"When I begin to sing the song, I have to take a minute and remind myself what I am doing. I am not just singing a pretty song. I am acknowledging who He was, is, and will be.  I knowingly offer this song, as little as it may seem sometimes, but I offer it as my heart's sacrifice. I focus heaven word and think on how proud the Maker is of all His children as praise just pours though the heavens. I am not just singing a singing a song, but reminding myself who He is, causing my heart to become more pliable in the potters hand,  reminding myself of His faithfulness in my life, and coming to offer Him one thing that He created me to do. Bring Praise to His Holy name. 

Praise shifts the atmosphere. Suddenly your focus has been altered and you can see situations for what they really are with our God lens. I remember a time in life where I was weary. Oh so weary. I was driving somewhere alone, and I thought to myself, God I have nothing left to give. I can't even open my mouth to pray, because every time I tried I would choke up. I did get a whispered "Jesus" out. Which is a side note but an important one none the less. There is power in the name of Jesus. So many times in my life I have had nothing else to utter. Again, His name brings focus, clarity, and I believe a shift in the heavenly realm. Try it when you're scared, hurt, tired, excited, thankful, joyful...you get the idea. Sometimes His name is all we need. 

I remember being at a training for my Christian camp where I was going to be a camp counselor. Kathy White asked us to bow our heads so we could open it all in prayer. We obediently did what Kathy said (if you were blessed to know dear Kathy, she wasn't a woman you argued with). It got so very, very quiet. Especially with over thirty 20somethings gathered together. We just stood there quietly. At first it felt awkward, but then it felt peaceful. The atmosphere was changing. After a few minutes, Kathy quietly whispered, "Jesus....Jesus.....Jesus." Then she was silent again. A few more minutes and she lifted her head and said "Amen." Hands down one of the most powerful prayers I ever heard prayed. It wasn't Kathy, it was acknowledgment of the name that called us all here that changed it all. 

As I was driving down this road, I felt a tug at my heart. "You can praise me." Praise? I wasn't feeling very "praisey" at the moment. My life was falling around my ears. "Praise me." came the persistent voice. A song I had been playing over and over again was a song by elevation worship called do it again. I opened my mouth to sing and again couldn't get the words out. As I drove on, I straightened my back and thought this is one battle the enemy isn't going to win. I began to hum out the song. It shifted. Right there in my white mini van in the middle of the road, in the mist of my valley, the atmosphere changed. I was no longer looking down but up. Oh and isn't up such a glorious place to see. My humming got louder and louder and soon I started to be able to recite some lines "I know the night won't last, Your Word will come to pass. My heart will sing your praise again."Suddenly I was having my own worship verse. Singing out with tears streaking down my face. But I felt it, the spiritual atmosphere shift.  I was no longer starring at my shoe strings wondering how I was going to provide for my kids. I was in the very presence of God!

That's what Praise does. It changes things, You might not think so in that minute- although it often is the case for me- but you are beating back the enemy. You are standing on the promises of God and praising His never ending goodness to you. How can I grow weary and weak  with my Jehovah Jireh- my provider by my side.

I get it child. I don't always feel like praise either. But that's the enemy talking, because he knows when we Praise the Lord on High powerful things happen. The world starts to get set straight.The realignment that is someday coming is beginning. The King is Among us. Darkness must flee praise. It is like acid dripping into the ears of the lost. It reminds them of how much they lost and how much we gained. The darkness flees, the Holy Spirit fills the air, a change is taking place. Certainly in the spirit world we are winning battles, but even in the physical one here we are moving forward. We start to see the world from a Godly perspective and suddenly I am not so lost anymore. 

Praise is like climbing up onto my Father God's lap, and telling Him how awesome he is. It doesn't always have to be song. Maybe a Prayer lifted up to remind us. Maybe a testimony of God's saving Grace to push back the darkness. All I know is this, I never end up where I started when I Praise my Father in Heaven. He moves mountains in the spiritual realm and He moves in my own situation. He brings whatever I need because I first acknowledged He is the Great I Am and apart from Him I have nothing. Humility is a praise worthy trait in the kingdom. God never intended you to go this world alone. He wants to walk with you. What better way, what better gift to give Him than His rightful Praise. 

Today, to honor you God most High, I bring my praise. May it rise on wings of eagles and never grow weary. You are a God who is worthy of the most high praise. 

Today, I bring you my praise. 

Choice

 Every day we make choices some as insignificant as what we wear to life alerting ones considering health or family. As indecisive person myself, I like the plan to already be set up, and I run with it. Choices can bring so many unknown variables. Every once in a while, I am forced to make some important decision that I stew over pros and cons and yes and nos. In the end hoping I made the right one and secretly wishing again that I didn’t’ have to make the decision

Why is this such a big deal? Well, a long time ago God decided that love was better served with a choice. When beings are created without a choice to love God and it is the default, how much weight does that carry? Do you want your spouse or your significant other with you because they choose you every day or because it was a plan set up and they have to. Of course, we all want to be chosen. So did God. He went out on a pretty big limb here and gave us mere mortals the gift of free will. We would not be forced into a relationship with our creator or even forced to acknowledged he existed. What followed is the greatest love story ever told. 

Let’s face it. When left to our own devices we are a mess. We are selfish. Unless a force acts upon us we will choose US every time. Unless love steps in, we will only want what serves our own wants, desires, and needs. 

The world was dark in chaos, and God decided He would do something about it. He did not take away our ability to choose. What He did was up the ante. In our world of darkness, God wanted to send us something that would demonstrate His love. Would be His walking talking love. But still left the choice up to us.

He sent His one and only Son to Earth as a baby with no super powers or titles. He sent Jesus to pay the sacrifice that had to be made for our rebellion. God is Holy. Completely and Utterly Holy and He can’t stand to have anything unholy in His sight. How was this to work with these bumbling and fumbling humans? He sent His Son not just to show us-in person- His love, He sent His child to pay the price. 

I have pondered this over and over in my mind. Take my everything. Take my very life, but not my child. As a parent, there is a kind of love there that I don’t think any word in and language can quite describe that kind of love. You can call me anything you like, but call my baby something and now we have issues. Make my child cry, and those won’t be the only tears going to be shed. My babies are my heart strings. To even consider, sacrificing them for “a good cause” is unacceptable. To sacrifice my children for spoiled, selfish, and antagonistic people? You have lost your mind. It’s no metaphor to say I would stand in front of a bullet for my child. I mean it when I say if my last breath saved theirs then so be it. That is a parent.

AND YET. What would convince God to send His only Son to be treated so poorly- mocked, cursed, tormented, and ultimately killed a horrible death to be a ransom for our freedom. God knew that in order for His creation, these humans to stand before him, and celebrate eternity with them they had to become Holy. Something they were unable to face on their own. He needed a sinless sacrifice to spill blood once and for all to cover the sins of many. Cover it does. 

So why? The only reasonable answer is a kind of love we know so little about, it will only be revealed to us in Glory, Heaven. It seems almost unreverent to use the word love because it is so over used and this- THIS – what he has toward us is so. Much. More. He wanted us. This was the only way to fulfil the law, and meet with his people. The world became BLACK and a sorrow that has never and never will be known again fell, and God the Father, gave us His Son. 

Wow. What could ever be payback for this? It is ultimately impossible. There is nothing you or I can do that would come close to repayment. It is ridiculous when we have entire denominations thinking they need works to be saved. The scriptures say that all our righteousness is like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). We couldn’t work our way to heaven in any circumstance. 

What can I give the Son who came as a baby, would grow to a man, and ultimately become my Savior? I give Him my choice. 

This was the plan with freewill all along. We would CHOOSE Him. We swallow our pride and take that one step toward him. We say “It might not make sense right now, I might be the only one doing it, I surely don’t know what I’m in for, but Jesus, when given the choice to live for you or without you, I choose you. I choose you today. I choose you in the valleys and on the hilltops. I choose you when I am feeling it and when I am most certainly not feeling it. Every morning when I open my eyes, I choose you. 

That is my first gift I bring to my God this holiday season. I bring my gift of choice. I choose you for all eternity. I am in it for the long haul. I am amazed that I even get to even make this choice. But true love cannot be force or coerced. It must be given with an open hand, with the opportunity to close it at any time. It all comes down to our freewill choice. No fireworks, no promises of riches or fame- usually quite the opposite! But we have fall so in love with this Jesus that we come confidently to His throne and say, “This is crazy. I don’t know why you would want me, but I am so, so glad you do. Because today and from everyday into eternity, I choose you. Without any other wants or reservation. I choose you because you first chose me.

So today my gift most Holy of Fathers is this- I give you my gift of choice. I choose you.

pa rumpa pum pum

     Anyone who knows me well knows it is no huge surprise when I say that Christmas is not my favorite. It i just too much music, lights, decorations, presents, cookies, concerts, dances, other obligations for my preferred low stimulation heart. Also though, again if you know me, Jesus is my very favorite. So every year I am at odds with the guilt of the way I feel verse faking it to be part of things. It was quite a surprise to me that as I was driving I started to hum the song "The little drummer boy." Again, not my even my top 10 Christmas tolerated songs. I started to ponder this song and this little drummer boy.

    I thought to myself, that yes Christmas is above all, Jesus's birthday. What would I give Him if given the chance. I found myself singing "I have no gift to bring that's fit to give our King.....parumpa pum pum." What do you give the Creator of a universe. "I guess you already have a toaster," I laughed. "Plus trust me, there is nothing on tv or a phone you want to see." What do we bring to a King with no need or want of anything?

    Scripture tells us in Acts 17:24-27 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth. He doesn’t live in shrines made by human hands, and he isn’t served by people as if he needed anything. He himself gives everyone life, breath, and everything else. From one man he made every nation of humanity to live all over the earth, fixing the seasons of the year and the national boundaries within which they live, so that they might look for God, somehow reach for him, and find him. Of course, he is never far from any one of us.”

    What does God need? Nothing. What does he want? More than I thought. 

    I plan to take each day this December and look deep into something I can give him each day. My gift to bring. Come and join me as we look into scripture and find out what we can bring out King to bring a smile to His face. To bring before him as our gift in the truest of forms. 

    Come Lord Jesus. 

It wasn't suppose to be this way

 It wasn't suppose to be this way.

Tears pool in my lap. I don't bother to wipe them away anymore. I feel the rain pour from my eyes slide down my cheeks. Some drip from my chin; some from my nose. This being the very reason I knew not to wear eye make up. Not that it matters. Who cares if black is streaking down your face when your heart lay at your feet in a million pieces? It will take more than a make up wipe to tackle this mess. 

We prayed. We fasted. We begged. We did everything right. And he is still gone. The moment I first heard, it was like I was in a tunnel, everything echoed and my ears then started ringing. I read the message again and again. "No, God, No! It wasn't suppose to end this way!" I cried into a pillow. I let myself feel and release the shock and grief. Just when I though I could catch my breath it came flooding back. I felt betrayed, angry even. "But God...." I couldn't even finish my sentence. He had given, and He had taken away.  How could this have happened? There must be some mistake? Someone pull me from this nightmare how ever I can get away from it. 

For a couple of days, I again went into shock mode. I didn't know what to even say to God. It felt awkward, and I will admit angry. When I finally got up my courage to look heavenward, I let it all out. My pain and hurt. Then I heard the smallest of voices whisper to my heart, "Theresa, my girl, do you trust me?" Like a petulant child I remained quiet. Then I gave out my own wants, my own desires, my own plans on how this was to play out. What his healing could have brought! "Jesus," I choked out. Again, "Theresa, do you trust me?"

Trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or some thing. Did I trust him? God is either good all the time or none of the time. I cannot serve a God who changes like shifting shadows. I claim He is good. I shout He is faithful. Here in this valley, what do I say? In moments where life hurts, bad. 

There is no middle ground. You don't get t straddle that line. Either God is Sovereign or not. 

Does my faith have the strength to rise? 

Theresa, do you trust me. 

Trust is scary. So scary. Trust sometimes requires us to suspend what we are actually seeing and to believe in what we know to be true. Trust sometimes means letting go and knowing He will catch you. But that moment in between the jump and His arms, it is scary. 

It comes down to this. Do I trust Him or not? Do I know His character or not? Has He not proven Himself to me over and over. Do I think He doesn't care? No. I believe he is collecting each tear that falls. That he cries with us as He did with Mary and Martha even though He knew what was coming for Lazarus. Our broken hearts break His. Imagine your child in pain, and you don't stop it because you know something better is coming. It still doesn't take away the sting of their tears.  Revelations 21:4 says "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." This earth we are now a part of is not our home. There is so much more coming. So much we don't know. In the not knowing, I have to go to someone who knows something-anything. 

Trust is scary. Faith is scary. You know what makes it less scary? Knowing I have a God who loves me dearly, has shown himself to me time and time again personally, and knowing the heart beat of the Father. 

I dug into the Bible for answers. His word is true or its not. 

Psalm 91:2

"This I declare about the Lord:

He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;  

He is my God, and I trust Him. "

He is MY God, and I trust in Him. Theresa, do you trust me. You are MY God, Elohim Shama- The God who hears. You are my refuge and my safety, Jehovah Uzzr- The Lord my strength

Hebrews 10:22 (a)- let us go into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting Him. 

Even when My heart is breaking and I can't see past the darkness, I will trust in you Elohim Qarob- God is near. Theresa, Do you trust me? Even in this? God you are Rum Rosh- The one who lifts my head. 

"Yet still I belong to you;

you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

leading me to a glorious destiny.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

I desire you more than anything on earth. 

My health may fail and my spirit grow weak,

but God remains the strength of my heart;

He is mine forever."

Psalm 73:23-26

I lift my head. I don't pretend to understand. I won't fake that my heart isn't shattered. What I will do is praise God that I can trust Him with my fragile heart, my shaking hands, my leaking eyes, my mortal understanding. 

He whispered, Theresa, do you trust me?" "Yes, I trust you," I whispered back.  

How do we change the world?

 

What's it worth?

What's it worth?

“When I a have a nickel and trade them in for 5 pennies, am I making more money?” “NO!” “Why not? I went from 1 to 5!” “Because you still have the same value just different coins,” says the lively child in the back. “Excellent!” We have learned value can be fixed as it is in pennies and nickels, or value can be reflected on a different scale altogether in things such as memories and pictures. Where does the value come from? What makes some things worth more than others? What determines something or someone’s worth?

What you are willing to trade for it.

Value is defined as “the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.”

I have a letter that my grandfather wrote my grandmother when he was away at at WWII. They were young and in love and I imagine the letters were what kept him going in those dark and dangerous days. The paper, the ink, the envelope, all not worth more than a few coins. But the value. Words that my young grandfather wrote about life and love. Faith and devotion. About a hope in coming home and if not, a hope in returning to His Savior. Worth a couple coins indeed.

To me this simple sheet of paper is irreplaceable. No amount of money can signify or replace its value. The value is not found on the earthly paper but in the heavenly significance of a man and a woman who are declaring their love for one another and their heavenly Father that will echo through generations.

My pictures. My past journals. My memories. All things that hold little earthly value, but to me, priceless. As I dug through my Bible researching value here are some treasures I uncovered.

1. Our value is not based on our behavior. Thank God. The Bible says “8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 You do not have to clean yourself up to come to Jesus. He loves you right where you are. Foul mouthed, selfish, and self important as you are. Be warned though. He loves you too much to let you stay there.

2. Your value is not based on what anyone else thinks of you. ANYONE. You feel as though your spouse doesn’t get it. Your kids don’t appreciate it. That evaluation at work has you stewing all day. Proverbs tells us “It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe.” Galatians 1:10 Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.” Chose to live for the one whose opinion matters for eternity. All else fades.

3. Your value never changes. God will never, ever give on you. This is a non-negotionale point. Phil 1:6 says “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. I know sometimes you don’t see the the worth or the why. Just take one more step. Then another. He will carry you on! Timothy 1:12-16 Paul was a murder of anyone who proclaimed the name of Christ Jesus. The blood of many innocent souls coated his hands. And YET!!!! God did not surrender him over to the darkness. No! He used him and this to prove that we do not determine what we are worth. Our actions do not void our destiny. Paul said in 1 Timothy 12 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. 13 Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. 14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.

4. You are made in the imagine of God Genesis 1:27

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

Genesis 2:7 “Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.”

********And here again my friend, hangs all the threads of eternity. You are worth what God was willing to trade for you.*****

5. Your value is so important that the living and moving God ransomed His own Son’s blood for you.

“knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. 20 He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for the sake of you 21 who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.”

1 peter 1: 18-21

My students understand value as much as something is worth. What (usually money or time) you are willing to trade something for. What are we placing our own value on? Is it our job? Our position in society? Or weight? nOur bank account? What others think? Or what the one who knitted me together in my mother’s womb thinks of me.

Of the Father who looked down to earth and saw his beloved children wondering in circles. Trying to reach for more and not know exactly how to get there. So He offered a ransom for us. He handed over His Son and let His precious blood soak the ground to pay for our sins. For our wrong doings. We didn’t ask. We didn’t have to.

In this He has said it all. How much are you worth? Look at the stripes of skin falling from my Son’s back. Think you aren’t good enough? You aren’t. That’s why the blood and water flowed from his side. As an offering to the parched and desolate land. Wondering why He would even still care? Because He choose YOU! You didn’t choose Him. John 15:16 “You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.”

You are valued beyond all you could ever imagine.