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Tuesday, January 18, 2022

Surrender


 "My Grace is sufficient for you, for y power is made perfect i weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ can rest on me." 2 Cor. 12:9


I don't know about you but I hate feeling weak. I hate depending on others. After my hysterectomy, I thought I could do it all on my own. Paid for that. When back to work 3 weeks after a very extremely difficult delivery. When to a cousin's baby shower the day after gallbladder surgery.  Every-time I do it this way, I pay. My famous phrase is "I got this" when I ain't got a thing.  Even when it comes to God things I think I can so it myself. Like I could ever work hard enough. Be enough. Not on my own. But when I join with Him, His power works through me. It is Him not me that is working. That I long for. 

I am reading a book for a class this morning and it so speak to me. It is something I have been struggling with lately, The question is "how much do you want Me? Cause you know it will cost you." Not sure of the cost, but I know it will be high. But I also know in my heart it will be WORTH it. Yet, my flesh still fears.

"Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God, I will strengthen you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Surrendering is not a pleasant thought either to me. Seems like quitting. But if I don't surrender and let go and allow myself to become weak I will never witness the power He can work through me. 

Guys, I am not sure I know how to do that. So I pray. I ask God to help me surrender. To help me lay my life down so He and He alone can picj it up. 

So if you are reading this, can I ask a favor? Will you pray for me. That God would show me His Glory and I would let go. I need to let go. 

Blessings my friends. 

Rest on us

As the Spirit was moving over the waters
Spirit, come move over us
Come rest on us
Come rest on us
As the Spirit was moving over the waters
Spirit, come move over us
Come rest on us
Come rest on us
So come down
Spirit, when You move, You make my heart pound
When You fill the room
You're here and I know You are moving
I'm here and I know You will fill me
Come down
Spirit, when You move, You make my heart pound
When You fill thе room
You're here and I know You arе moving
I'm here and I know You will fill me
Hey, come fill us up
Come fill us up
Come fill us up
And as the Spirit was moving over the waters
Spirit, come move over us
Come rest on us
Come rest on us
As the Spirit was moving over the waters
Spirit, come move over us
Come rest on us
Come rest on us (I feel the fire)
Fire and wind, come and do it again
Open up the gates, let Heaven on in (come)
Come rest on us (won't You come?)
Come rest on us (I feel the fire)

Monday, January 17, 2022

The Arts=Life





We interrupt your regularly  scheduled programming for this message.



        You all know by now I am a Jesus girl. BUT did you know that I was once a proud actress/vocalist of the Cambria Heights School District Music/ Musical Program. I was a VERY shy kid. Would never talk in class. Would hate when the teacher called on me to speak. I was very quiet and never, ever wanted to be noticed. I also never "fit" anywhere. 

UNTIL I got old enough to join chorus. Singing.  My Son got a key chain from his grandparents yesterday that said "Where words fail, there is music" and he said "mom, that's me." AND that's me. When I sang I could breath. I could be loud. I feel confident. It took me out of my box and made me ME. Then I joined theater. When I say it literally saves lives that is no joke. I was heading down a not so great path. But although I KNOW Jesus pulled me off it, I also know he used the Arts to do it.

 When I was on stage I was someone else. I didn't have to hide in my corner. I was so and so. I could dance and sing and all I saw was the stage lights. People faded away. It was me and the stage. I also made the best friends and made the strongest of bonds. Theater people don't judge. They are real about their struggles and life. We "act" on stage, but then we are free to get real with those around us about our true struggles. Others chime in or simply hug us. They tell us we are someone and something! 

The day my William told me he was joining Chorus I about cried. When he said he was joining the musical I did cry. He is my shy, awkward, sweetest soul child, I knew this was his moment. He was blessed with an incredible voice. This would be perfect for him. I never thought it possible but the music program at Cambria Heights has made him a LEADER. He is the "torch bearer" which is the guy handing out all the encouragement. If you would have known his in 5th grade you would not believe it. William has friends from every walk of life. He loves them so passionately. I am willing to bet, with the help of His faith and Jesus, he has saved quite a few souls with his perfect words. 

When I hear about programs being cut, my heart feels such a pain I swear it is going to fall out of my chest. Sure, we need to learn about balancing a checkbook, and reading the local news. BUT the Arts mold us into PEOPLE. It gives us vision and strength. It provides us with LIFE. 

Support your local Arts program. Truly, it is saving someone's life. 



 

Sunday, January 9, 2022

When Jesus Shows Up



click the link to be taken to Amazon


I wrote it before I knew it. I wrote it before I believed it. I thought I did but I had no idea. I have told you all before about struggling with my worth. When the friend asked me what I thought I was worth and I said, I don't know. But I know I am replaceable. She was stunned and I had no idea what had throw her off. NOW I DO. Cause I believe this closing in this book. I KNOW my worth. I KNOW who my father is. I KNOW he has anointed me to speak the good news and set the captives free.  I KNOW He has plans and I say "Amen!"

I know many of you are not "book" people, BUT GOD. (my regular readers get that reference). I am not trying to get rich off of this book and honestly, I donate any made money back into ministries that need it. I just want you to know how amazing my Jesus is.  God has blessed me to write. So I'll write.  If you are looking, wondering, lost, or just need a pick me up- check out    "When Jesus Shows Up" because when he shows up, wow do things happen. This book is a combination of stories of my life and stories from the Bible (although I make a disclaimer that you read the real story in the Bible first then my imagination). 

If the price AMAZON sets 15 is too much, get ahold of me. I can offer Author copies at a fraction of the price. Like I said I am not making a living out of this (Although Lord, maybe someday?), I just want you to read it. Not for my Glory- ever. But see what JESUS does in our lives and others when He shows up. I guarantee you will never be the same if you ask Him to really show up. 
Here is my conclusion that I NOW BELIEVE......

Who am I? A girl who has received a gift of salvation, joy, and peace that I can never repay. I am a child of God whose heart grieves for those who are separated from him. I am a Victor because I know how the story ends. I am a warrior for the name of Christ where I can fight my battles in prayer and praise. I am someone who may from time to time fall and scrape my hands and knees, but I get back up. I always get back up and reach for my fathers hands who lifts me up. I am a woman who loves to sit at the feet of Jesus to hear his voice and the place my head against his chest to hear his heartbeat for us. I am a daughter whose tears are wiped with my father’s hand. I am a child of God surrounded by his protection of the mortal and never ending warriors. A girl with hope, strength, and understanding only though through his name. I am above death. I am adopted into a royal family that will reign forever and ever. I am chosen to point you to the comforter, healer, and counselor. The weapons are formed against me, they will not prosper because you go before me in front, behind, and beside.


Sunday, January 2, 2022

Loving my Jesus

Loving my Jesus- Click the link for the song




I was a wandering soul
Traveling a well worn road
A sinner so far from home
No second chance in sight
I heard You call my name
I felt You lift my shame
And I made a vow that day
That I'd spend the rest of my life

Loving my Jesus
Showing my scars
Telling my story of how mercy
Can reach you where you are
And I pray the whole world hears
The cry of my heart
Is to see all the ones I love
Loving my Jesus
Sin tries to make you hide
Whispers that same old lie
Keep all your pain inside
'Cause no one will understand
The last thing this lost world needs
Is someone I'm trying to be
Truth that has set me free
Is that I'm just a broken man
Loving my Jesus
Showing my scars
Telling my story of how mercy
Can reach you where you are
And I pray the whole world hears
The cry of my heart
Is to see all the ones I love
Loving my Jesus
When all is said and done
When my last song's been sung
I stand face to face with the one
Who gave all for me
May all I have to show
Be all that mattered most
Making Your great name known
Let this be my only legacy
Loving my Jesus
Showing my scars
Telling my story of how mercy
Can reach you where you are
And I pray the whole world hears
The cry of my heart
Is to see all the ones I love
All the ones I love
Loving my Jesus






Saturday, January 1, 2022

My Word



 I started doing this a couple of years ago sort of in place of a New Year Resolution. I pick a word for the year. The first year I did it I picked thankful. That word just coming to my mind. When I had enough I was thankful. When I was lacking, I was thankful. Sometimes I would find myself just saying that word over and over. It would change my perspective. Because how I have argued forever now- Words are powerful.

I was thinking about what this year's word would be and it came to me with zero hesitation. TRUTH. 

A friend and I were talking a couple weeks ago, and we were talking about identify. I never really took the time to think about what I though about my identity. I was honest. I said I thought I was replaceable.  Not worth much. Sometimes a burden. The only worth I found was in doing for my family, but even then I thought someone else could do a better job than me. 

As this friend and I talked, I felt like my eyes were open. I have the indwelling of Christ in ME! He doesn't inhabit junk. He created me and loves me. He uses me and loves me. I am important. 

That was the "easy" part. The hard part was believing it. The story came to mind about Jesus being the Good Shepard and the sheep ONLY follow HIS voice. They run from the enemy's voice. I have to know what is true and what is the enemy. Then I can tell the enemy who is whispering lies into my ear and say no! That is a lie form the pit of hell and I will not take it on. I will choose the voice of truth. 

Then I came home and opened my bible randomly and guess what scripture it fell to. The very one we were just talking about.  God wink

To quote Casting Crows (go listen to the voice of truth song if you need to) The Voice of Truth tells me a different story. The voice of truth says do not be afraid. The voice of truth says this is for my Glory. Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose and listen and believe the voice of truth. 

2022- The year of TRUTH

Thursday, December 30, 2021

Dearest Cody,


 December 30, 2021- evening sky

I am not sure if you'll get this, but I'm asking God to deliver it priority mail. Maybe by angels. But this is what I do when I have too big of emotions. I write.  Say hi to Gram Jean for me. She loved you so very very much.  Maybe she has a butter bread waiting for ya! Tell my Dad hello since you were birthday buddies. I want you to know you will always be with us. When someone lives in your heart they never really leave you, I remember you being such a smart kid. Your mom was so proud of you. I also remember when my car broke down and you offered to take me to work. I told you no, but you said get in. When we got there and you dropped me off, I said thank you so much and you said no thanks needed. Because that was you. "No thanks needed." A good hearted one of a kind guy. We will try our best to help each other out. Fill in the gaps. But no one ever can fully fill in the Cody gap. We love you. So much. Not we loved you. But we LOVE you. Because I know you are in paradise with no more sickness, death, or pain. Eternal love. We are the ones who get the short end of the stick.  We live here still. Without you.  Even though it hurts so much, we know you get a jumpstart on paradise. I know if you can you'll be watching out for us. Like always. I love you Cody. God speed. 




Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Ode to Pastor Roy and Janice Gearhart

 

This picture is everything. I seriously get choked up over it. The man in the front and the woman in the back row three people over literally changed the trajectory of my life (With the Holy Spirit of course).


We have a  little white church on top of the hill here where I love and it shares a Pastor with another church in another town. These two people started a youth group. He PASTORED and DID THE YOUTH. Trust me, we were quite the bunch and he put up with his fair share for sure. I know quite the crown awaits Roy and Janice Gearhart in heaven. We were a small group on top of the hill. We met once a week. Sometimes there would be 2 kids sometimes more, but they KEPT SHOWING UP! Trust me, we had zero interest in discussing God, Jesus, the Bible, or anything of the sort. We just wanted to hang out. THEY KEPT SHOWING UP! They introduced us to Christian music and took us places. They showed the love of Christ through sleepovers, pancakes, and hikes. They loved us at our most selfish and unlovable time in our lives (hello middle school and high school.) 

One day they asked if we wanted to go to camp. I did not have the money or the want to. They raised money for us to go. That little white church said to us YOU ARE WORTH IT! Pastor Roy convinced us to go. And Guys.......I GOT SAVED. 

From there I have shared the gospel by becoming a counselor my self at Christian camp. My whole family got saved! My kids are saved. Roy and Janice broke generational curses (with Jesus of course) BY JUST SHOWING UP FOR US. 

I don't remember one lesson Pastor Roy taught. But I do remember Janice and His love. Oh how they loved us. Pastor Roy gave me my first Bible. Who would I be if they were too busy? If they thought us too difficult. If they didn't love us so well. I pray they know how much they mean to us. Everyone of us were impacted by their love of Jesus. 

NOW- Scott and I used to be youth leaders ourselves. We loved it. Took kids on trips, did worship, and gave them the word. Then we started moving around and well, 5 kids and all. I have 4 children who are youth group aged. They don't want preached at by mom again. 

Listen, if you are in a church that does not have a youth group, I plead with you to step up. I am not talking to Pastor's here because they got plenty on their plate. We need people who will LOVE our children. That is the only requirement. There are lessons on line and games. But let them gather and talk over the hard stuff and get out their Bibles. 

Today more than ever we need our kids in church and learning the word. Learning the TRUTH. The have so many falsehoods coming from all angles. They need truth and they need loved. Please, please consider what you could do for this ministry. If you already have a youth leader - AWESOME- give them a starbucks card. Maybe offer to drive, or donate money to the youth. If that little white church on the hill wouldn't have helped pay, I never would have made it to camp. MAYBE God would have caught me another way in time. But I was already heading down a not so great path. Even if you single out your youth and say hello. Ask them questions. Connect with them so they know they are wanted there. 

People- we got to get our kids. If we think that they are going to be just ok with no church and no youth then the world culture will gladly and effortlessly snatch them away. We are the heads in our house. I decided a long time ago "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." My kids may get tired of my quoting scripture at them, or hanging  it all over the house. I may be a different kind of mom, but my kids are going to KNOW Jesus or I'll die trying. 

But I need your help. Your church needs your help. You could be the one. Your choice could impact generations. Please, pray, and consider showing up. 

Roy and Janice Gearhart- I love you both with all my heart. I know you have heard me say it before but I'll say it again- Thank-you for showing up and loving us.