Rock Star Day

Rachel- "Today is Rock Star day."
Me- "Really?"
Rachel- "Yep, and since I am a rock star everyone has to be nice to me."
Me- "umm..ok."

One hour later.....
Me- "Hello rock star."
Rachel- "You didn't say Hannah Montana Rock Star."
Me "Sorry, Hello Hannah Montana Rock Star."
Rachel smiles.

Couple hours later....
Me- "Hey, Hannah Montana Rock Star."
Rachel - "Mommy, I am NOT a rock star anymore. I am a princess."
Apparently I will never be in the loop.

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So what is up? With me, I am tired. I know, isn't everyone. But I am SO happy to point out that this is the last day of January. And although I have been trying to be all positive and all, but I am ready for the calendar to move it on!

School has been crazy busy. We have started Guided Reading. And although I think it yields amazing results for little guys (and gals) it is a ton of work. I have to plan and do 8 new centers a week. Until March when we plan 16 a week! I have to think of them, get all of the materials ready. Plus get plans ready for 6 individual reading group lessons. I am not complaining cause truly I LOVE my job. I get to hang out with an awesome group of little people who are growing in leaps and bounds but I am tired! Plus I am tying to keep my plans ahead a couple of weeks!

Which is why I didn't feel to bad about chilling out for most of today. I have been feeling under the weather. I have a lump in my throat that I am not sure what is going on? I don't know if it is wisdom teeth related or not? I have an appointment coming.

And I am very close to being 10 pounds from my original weight loss goal. That is where I was when I got pregnant with Rachel. That means I am 20 pounds from my ultimate goal. Where I was before William. I am working at it! I am on day 14 of the shr*ed. And looking to what I will do next. It feel nice to be moving in the right direction at least!

And last but not least we went to our house meeting. I can't believe I could sit there and just PICK what I wanted. We are quite a ways away but step one went well!

promise me forever

William walked into the room with a glass of milk. Since I was the only one home I asked him where he got the milk? He answers "well, ya know mom, I am almost 6." Then I just stare at him. "Oh no, no, no. Not 6. I have dealt with kindergarten and the school bus but you are not turning 6. Pinky promise me you will stay 5 forever." And Will answers with his always answer. "I don't know about that one." I fake pout and Will said "Mommy, what if I pinky promise that I will love you forever?" And with that I saw him at 16. A grown-up little man. And me reminding him that he promised that he will love me forever. He is my first one. The one who made me a mother. And I guess he can turn 6 soon if he promises to love me forever.

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So.....with Rachel. Tonight I asked her to get me a spoon and she of course ignored me. Luke said "I get you one mommy." Again, why I love my boys. I said thanks Luke. No thanks Rachel. And she says to me, " I only listen to my best friend Dad." And doesn't THAT just say it all.

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I finished level 1 today. I move to level 2 tomorrow in the sh.red. Getting frustrated. Feel like I am not making much progress. Sigh... Hopefully things improve.

This is why...

a mom can't take a shower when husband is on night shift...

and this isn't even half of it...the stove, the wall, the countertop, the bathroom door...

small chunks

I like things in small chunks. I feel like I can handle them better. When I am pregnant, I always divide even the trimesters up into smaller chunks. I remember when I was pregnant with Will I even made a chart I would color. Yeah, that's me.

So today I did day 5. That is half way through level 1 on the Sh*red. Now, they have 3 levels (hence the 30 days) but I like looking at it this way. Sounds better than I am on day 5 of 30!! So far so good. It is still hard and I worked out at 9 pm last night, but I am still doing it! Tomorrow is my week one weigh in at school. Little nervous about that one. Still looking for a better eating plan.

On to other news...when I was growing up, my dad would always say to me "I hope you have a child just like you." And I hardly think he meant my GPA or love of reading. So, I am trying to find something and I ask Rachel to please go get her sister a toy as she was fussing. No answer. So I request a little louder. Rachel is ignoring me. First, this takes a second to register. Then I pull out the middle name and tell her I am about to call her father. *side note- what is up with the fear of daddy. He just has to say her name and she listens??* Anyhow, she looks at me and says with hands on hips "fine, MU-TH-ER." Are you kidding me? At 4. She was on the time out chair for a trip. But oh she is so much like me. Only cuter. So this could be trouble. Like she was leaving daycare the other day and a BOY yelled "bye Rachel I love you." And she smiles and waves. I said "who was that?" She shruggs. "I don't know." Now, that she doesn't get from me, but goodness.

a dream

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am a very practical person. Scott would say pessimist. I think he is the dreamer. He is the one who makes the big plans. I used to then quickly tell him why his plan would never work or be doomed to failure. But since I am trying to be a better wife (wink) I now let him go on and dream. I smile and say "yeah, maybe."

So when I came home from work one day and said "we should build a new house" he about fell on the floor. Every once in awhile we would joke and say "when we build our dream house..." but never was serious. Then I began to think...

My mom has a plot of land beside her house. Hence, no land cost. We could build next to her. She wouldn't be lonely and the kids would be thrilled. We would be right there to help her with what she needed. She doesn't drive in the winter and we could go to the store together. So I prayed about it. And I began to feel more confident about the idea. And then I told Scott. Who thinks it is a super idea.

We have an appointment to meet with a house guy on the 30th! We would have to sell our house now and get so many things in order. Normally, I wouldn't even attempt such an undertaking. But I need to start taking steps of faith when I know that is where God is leading. I don't do that as much now that I am adult. I like safe. I like things working out as I planned them.

But sometimes God takes our wildest dreams and actually makes them come true. Like a bathroom right off my bedroom and a fireplace in the family room. So friends and family, I would appreciate your prayers as we see if doors will open and allow this to happen!

sunday, sunday

I exercised. That makes day 2 for those of you keeping track, and oh trust me am I keeping track! I didn't want to do it. I was tired and felt yuck. But I got my butt of the couch and did it. Of course I am glad I did cause I feel better. Like I am really TRYING to do this. I still don't feel good about my whole eating thing. I try and tell myself little steps.

Anyways, we went to church for the first time in 3 weeks. In church I was rocking Bella and looking at her. My goodness is she getting big. It is not that my other angels aren't but with a baby it is on fast forward. She is grabbing my necklace. Looking up at me. Then she fell asleep in my arms. What an absolute joy to be holding her. Such a precious face.

No school tomorrow. I have a drs appointment in the morning and then we are going shopping to get William some pants! I hate shopping but it can't be avoided!

Day 1 (again)

Here I am on day 1 of weight loss goal. Now, I have a little motivation. I joined a group at work. Every Thursday we weigh ourselves. We paid 12 dollars to start. When you weigh in, if you have stayed the same, you pay 50 cents. If you gain, you pay a dollar. We have 15 weeks. We keep track of our progress and see who is the "big*gest lo*ser." I have added a ticker so I can update it every Thursday.

Now, 17.2 pounds is my first goal. That will be where I was pre-baby Rachel. I really want to lose 10 pounds after that. But my first goal, wanted to look at and feel ok about. 27.2 is a little daunting to think about.

So today I started the 30 day shred (again), I hope to do it EVERYDAY. But sometimes fitting it in is a problem. I will try my best. I am not adding the treadmill again yet. I feel like I may have over done it in November. I am going to work on this first.

I wish I had a plan for the diet. I did do up a chart (cause I am crazy like that). I will mark what I eat and what I do for exercise. I have thought about weigh*t Wat*chers online. For now I am going to try and calorie count. I only drink water and no calorie stuff. Except for coffee at time. And sometimes I NEED it.

Let's see how it goes!