You would think I could get this?

First off, work has been crazy. I thought since this was my 2nd year, things would be a little easier. And although I am not as stressed, I am still crazy busy. I have been passing out with headaches and sore feet! Tomorrow night I have K- orientation so I will not be home til after 8!! And then Will's orientation is Friday morning. ARGH! Morning. Well, Saturday I am sleeping in! ;) I am enjoying prepping for kindergarten. I think this is going to be a really good year!

Now, on to the "you think I would get this?" This is my 4th child. That means I went through labor 3 times. I prepared for a baby 3 times. I brought home an infant 3 times. So why do I feel like I haven't the slightest idea what I am doing? I know some of it can be attributed to exhaustion but still? On Monday I started to get a lot of back pressure. And since the last 3 times I only had back labor and I was early, I started to get a little nervous when it was quite frequent. Then Tuesday and Wednesday it was still just coming and going. So when I remembered that I don't have a car seat, I was a little panicked.

I ordered one on-line tonight. So baby can't come until the 1st-4th. That is when the seat is due to arrive. And I think I may pack my bag this weekend. Just in case. Everyone asks me, do you need anything. To which I reply..uummmm...I don't know. Just like when they ask me if I need anything at school? uummm I don't know? I know I need a cuddle-u. Mine has been destroyed. I got a bag of infant diapers. Tons of size one. I got the feeding her and cleaning her stuff. So....?? Not sure what else.

I looked over at my camera tonight and thought, hope I remember that! Goodness!

Here it comes!

Not the baby. Although, soon and very soon. My counter on the side says watch your body for labor signs! ha ha. Nothing like making me crazier. And the one at the bottom says 32 days to go. AND that is without going early. And although I have gone early with all 3 other little ones...I am feeling like perhaps I will not be early with this one?? Although in the back of my mind I am still hoping. I think i am just trying to not be disappointed if baby doesn't arrive in two weeks like her brother did!


Where was I?....oh yeah..work. Now, I have social anxiety. I hate groups of people. I hate trying to talk to people I don't know. I would like the walls to swallow me up. With that being said, I hate the week of in-service. Lots of people. Everywhere. I like being in my nice little classroom, with my nice (ahem) little students. Not large groups of adults. Especially when they go, is this your first baby. Um, no my fourth. FOURTH!!! Holy Cow (Don't you know how to prevent that?, I could never do that?, and you don't stay home?, why do you have so many kids?, is that a religious thing?, Is it your husband who wants so many?, You are done now right?, I can't imagine your grocery bill!) BUT my personal favorite was when one teacher, God bless her soul I really love her, said "Do you have someone come in to help you?" I looked at her and seriously said "I don't know what you mean?" She said "Does someone come into your house and help with all the kids?" God love her.

Although I am sad to see the summer leave (esp since she just decided to show up!) I am ready to go back to work. For about 2-5 weeks, til Bella arrives. I do honestly love my job. I love teaching kids. I will miss my little guys when I am at work though. And chores start to pile up. But back to work I go!

Pizza tonight!

First, my counter says 35 days to go until my due date...hhhmmmm....

Second, I went grocery shopping today. I hate grocery shopping. But I went and spent so very much money. I had to buy stuff for my lunch next week. I ....am.....going....back...to....work. SIGH I apparently also bought a whole bunch of other junk. And what am I making for dinner?? A phone call. We are having pizza...and wings!

Scott took Will to soccer practice and I am tired. I looked and looked for something to make and came up empty handed. Crazy. I have to make a menu. It makes life so much easier. And I have been thinking about meals...as my due date is only 35 days away.

I have considered making stuff and freezing it. Although that thought never really has appealed to me. And I am tired now...I know I will be tired later too, but I just don't feel like looking up recipes that freeze well and making them...and everything else....Especially since I am ...going...back...to...work. We will probably eat a lot of pizza. Which works out fine for the men in my life.

I am excited to go back to work. I love my job. I guess I just imagine how I feel now, and tack another 8 hour job. Little overwhelming.

I am a wonderful mother

I could be serving my children cereal for dinner or PB and J BUT I am making chicken and shredded cheesy potatoes. And because it is just me and them (Scott on night shift) this is totally for them. Because they need a nice hot dinner. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am DYING to eat Scott's hot sauce with chicken. And I am craving some potatoes. It is because I am a great mother.

And because I am such a wonderful mother and very concerned that my children get enough rest, they will all be going to bed early tonight. Nice and tucked in, with milk, at a solid 8-8:15 ish. It is certainly not because I am exhausted and am going to curl up in my bedroom with a book and the air conditioner. No sirree. They need their rest.

And because I am so wise I know that the last thing my children need is empty calories that ice cream contains. So since there is only enough ice cream left in the house for one, I shall make the sacrifice and finish it when children are in bed and I am in the air conditioner. Oh, yes I am one of the best.

Wonder if my plan shall succeed, or I will find myself in bed at 10 o'clock with a toddler hogging my bed watching nick on demand with an ice cream hangover??

ps Dr appointment at 34 weeks went well. Other than the fact that I had to sit in the office for an hour and a half. He was delivering a baby. What ya gonna do? How can 6 weeks seem so close yet so far away??

looking good!

I had my 3rd ultra sound today! Not really sure what the dr. was looking for but the ultra sound person said she is measuring right on. He head is down. She was sucking her thumb and hick-uping! She said "wow, she already has chubby cheeks." I have an appointment on Monday where my dr will get the results.

I tried AGAIN to make beef stew in the crock pot. I am thinking I am never doing this again. Every time I do it, it is horrible. I think I give up!

snowing...

I had a good friend once tell me "trying to clean a house while the children are growing, is like trying to shovel the driveway while it is still snowing." Which is a fantastic metaphor! I can just picture it! And it is so true! How ever it doesn't really make me feel any better as I look about my house.

Many, many times I have been told "I don't know how you do it all." And I tell them "not very well." Which I feel is so true. I am very busy. But, yes we all are busy in our own ways and no one needs to hear that. I guess being off this summer has helped somewhat. I have kept up fairly well with the household stuff. And by fairly well, I mean we have had clean clothes to wear and food to eat. - Even if that one time my mom had to run over a couple of boxes of mac and cheese!


But now the true fun will begin again. I start back to work in a week and a half.I have always said "in my next life I am coming back as a man." I do not doubt my husband works hard. But I carry way more responsibility that him. I am responsible for the house, the kids, the bills, the insurance....and more. My husband once told me about this book he was reading (aka listening to on tape). It compared our brains to a computer. Men have one program open. If you try to talk to them about ANYTHING else, they must shut down the program they are on, and open up the other program. In other words, one window at a time. Woman of course are different. We can have windows littering our screens. We flow from program to program with ease and often time connect them. I was stunned that Scott can only hold one thing at a time. He was stunned that I am ALWAYS operating at least 5 programs- even while trying to sleep.


So as he is thinking about 1. painting the kids room. I am thinking about dinner, about my classroom, about where I can get a baby car seat, can we fix the kids dressers, the van stinks and needs cleaned, my ultra sound on Thursday, my behavior plan at work....and the list goes on.

Which is one reason why when Scott broke his tooth and was complaining I told HIM to call the dentist. I was going to make him an appointment months ago and he wouldn't go-no time. And he said "well, if you would have just made me the appointment I would have gone." And I burst into tears. Granted I know he was just kidding. He was laughing. But I told him, I am responsible for so much. I can not also be responsible for your teeth!In a couple of weeks I go back to work. To teach kindergarten. In a couple of weeks, my baby starts kindergarten. In a couple of weeks I will give birth to baby #4. It is more than a little overwhelming and daunting.

Monday Review

1. I am in my 33rd week of pregnancy..which means I am to the point where I am thinking "how can I possibly still be pregnant?" and " Oh no, it is coming"

2. Started work on my classroom...holy smokes....overwhelmed

3. Today...the day where I was in my no air conditioning classroom....is the day where it decided to be as hot as the blazing sun

4. Hot as the blazing sun results in feet and hands so swollen that it hurts

5. I am hungry for a snack that once again I don't have

6. How do I always spend SO much at the grocery store and yet not have the snack I want??

Fudge

When we went to the beach, there was this magical place called "candy kitchen." Magical I tell you. I wanted fudge. I LOVE fudge. Especially the peanut butter variety. I could eat lots and lots of it. And since I was on vacation, I asked Scott to buy me some at "candy kitchen." And it was very very expensive. But oh the fudge....

When we were leaving I had to get some for the road. He went into the pink beautiful place and since my sisters were sitting with the kids, I followed. I quickly had to leave. The candy was too much for me. Chocolate covered pretzels. Chocolate covered EVERYTHING. But very very expensive. Isn't that always the way...

So I took my fudge and went home. When I was a kid and went trick or treating, I could make my candy last til Christmas. I am good at that. Rationing things and savoring every bite. Alas, I only did get a pound (that was almost a car payment...OK not really). I need more fudge. And since I am pretty sure Scott isn't going on a 7 hour road trip to bring me back some treat from candy kitchen...hhhmmmm....I must make some myself. But I don't have a recipe. And I suppose I could get one from the net but you never know with that stuff.

If any of you have a good (and pretty easy) fudge (preferably peanutbutter) recipe, I would greatly appreciate an e mail. Just write fudge in the address line. Thanks! xoxoxox

overload

The spring of 2003 was a busy time for me. I was student teaching, planning a youth trip to a weekend retreat, and I was getting married. I was a bit busy. BUT I was the thinnest I have ever been. Stress does that too me!

I just always seem to take on more than is humanly necessary. Now, I am 3 weeks out from the start of school. About 7 from a due date.( don't even get me started that Luke was born in about 4). My to-do list keeps getting LONGER as I remember stuff I need to add. And this is not stupid far out things like stain the porch (although that does need done.) This is like BUY a car seat. Set up your classroom. Pull down the baby clothes. Find a dresser to put baby clothes in!

I have three to do lists going now. One for school. One for baby. And one for the oldest starting kindergarten. PLUS I am almost 33 weeks. Which mean I am stinking tired....which would probably explain why I snapped when my dear husband started to complain (as I was calling about getting our daughter into dance and writing out another to do thing as the phone was ringing) that we were OUT of tea. And he thought I was getting it last night? And he has nothing to drink. And water makes him gag. and..... death stare. Well, call the president!

I just I am just tired. and stressed. And darn, I am pregnant so I don't even get to lose any weight on the deal!

Da Beeeeeech

The first time I ever went to the beach I was with my best friend at the ripe old age of 13. I was over the moon excited. Now, what I failed to take into consideration is that I am about as neon white red-headed Irish as you can get. Which means when this friend was pouring baby oil on herself, I should have been swimming in SPF 110. BUT being 13 I didn't even think of it and fell asleep on the beach. Which resulted in a trip to the hospital, blisters everywhere the sun had graced my body, and almost an admittance to this fine place. BUT I promised to drink lots of Gatorade and stay under the umbrella. Which ended up being pretty easy as I was wrapped in a blanket, freezing due to all the damage to my skin. Did I mention I also ripped my one contact on that trip.

But believe it or not, I STILL fell in love with the beach. The water and waves were beautiful. It felt so good to have the wind hit me. It quickly became my favorite place. And before I even was pregnant I decided that we were going to the beach this summer! And to the beach we went. When I was 31 weeks pregnant...hhhmmmm.....

The trip down was a LONG one. Did I mention our air conditioner was broken?? And Scott had to stay 2 extra hours at work so we had a late start. So we got there about 12:15 A.M. Which meant I passed out as soon as we were in the door! But we got up early the next day and headed to the beach. After of course I lathered my very white, red-headed, Irish children up with sunscreen!

Will and Rachel loved the water. The first day I couldn't (or wouldn't let Scott) let go of their hands. The next day I pulled a chair up to the edge of the water where they had to be close. So I got better. Luke on the other hand, hated the water. Which is fine with me. My boy is hard enough to keep track of on dry land. So he hung out playing in the sand all day. He had a blast doing that!

Everyday this was our late morning- afternoon trip. Wake up, eat, cover in sun screen, and head to the beach. Which sounds so easy in theory. Except, when we walked out our door it was like the surface of the sun. Especially since the sun has been on strike here in PA for most of the summer. But once we had carried toys, drinks, chairs, towel, and 3 screaming kids to the actual beach...it was smooth sailing. Until it was time to convince William out of the water!

One night we went out to eat at this amazing place called JR's. Another night was the boardwalk. One night I stayed home with #2 and 3 and they went to a souvenir shop. And before we knew it, it was time to go home. And I was ready! I was getting a little tired of scrubbing sand out of children's hair and other places. I was feeling huge and hot. And I was ready to be home!

But when we left Rachel asked when we could go back and it was nice to say next year I am sure!

So I lied...

I didn't get my vacation post written...but I do have a funny.

I was suppose to teach 2nd grade this year. Which I was VERY excited about. But things have changed and I will be teaching K-garten. I have been very nervous about this. Today Scott comes out of the bathroom and says "So I was brushing my teeth and thinking about it and you are going to have a room full of Williams." "Yes I am." "Wow" he said and walked back into the bathroom. Didn't really boost my confidence!

Vacation?!?!?

I could post some pics. And I will. But I am tired. I know, I know. I have said it before. But seriously this "vacation" kicked my butt!! Who said the beach with a 5, 3, and 2 year old and me 31 weeks preg would be a good idea?? But the kids had a blast. And since Scott has been home we painted a bit. He is going on night shift so I am sure I will have plenty of time to catch up!