And we are off.......

No Monday Review because I will not be here..I will be at the beach this evening (supposedly...I still have lots of packing to do!)

For the past couple of days I could not sleep due to all of the THINKING about all I had to do to get ready for this trip. I would wake up at 3:30 with Scott and then not go back to bed until after 6 and then was up with Luke. Now, perhaps it would have helped if I would have done something productive during those hours, but I couldn't convince myself to pack so I read, watched tv, played on Face*book. And yesterday I started to pack. Which was every bit as daunting as I thought it would be! So much stuff. So much responsibility.

And here I sit. I have to eat, shower, and continue packing. Scott says he will be home in 3 or so hours. And I should have most of this done. I am getting so riled up I have to keep reminding myself, this is a vacation. You will have fun. R-E-L-A-X. And hopefully once we are there I will. I woke up this morning with fingers and toes swollen. Probably from being on my feet all day yesterday.

So I am off...to get something done...and hopefully to have a really nice time after that!

Again

Things are really just repeating around here...I am tired. Very tired. And it is because I am not sleeping. I was up last night from 3:30 to about 6 and then slept just a bit longer. And I didn't go to bed until after 12 last night. So combine that with the whole 31 weeks pregnant and we have tired.

And this is the party weekend. We had Luke's birthday party yesterday. The rain held off and we had a good time. I will have to post some pics later cause my camera battery is driving me crazy. But Luke was thrilled with all of the spiderman things. Tonight is Faith's 7th birthday party. The kids are very excited. And Scott is on day shift so we will meet him there. Once he arrives I am going to dash over to the store to pick up stuff to make for the church picnic. Then come home and make it!

Tomorrow I wake up and lug the three kids to the picnic and then to my mom's for my brothers homecoming party. And we are to leave for the beach on Monday afternoon. I have nothing packed. A list of things to buy....no time. I keep telling myself if I can make it to Monday I will have a few days at the beach. Why is it on days where I really need a nap Scott is working??

Praying for The Mikels family

Here is the blog. I put a button on my blog. Momma is in the hospital for the long haul. I can't even imagine. Praying for a miracle.

Finish the....

sentence. cause nothing really exciting is going on. Luke's party is tomorrow. And Beach on Monday...but I have been tired and wiped out. SO I figured I would play along with this



Maybe I should...: start thinking about packing for our week long beach trip that we leave for in 4 days

I love...: rainy days

People would say that I'm...: determined

I don't understand...: why garbage day is so hard to remember

When I wake up in the morning...: i go to get Luke (always the reason I am up early!)

Life is full of...: ups and downs

My past is...: the way it should be

Parties are...: too few

I wish...: I was sleeping!

Tomorrow...: I will be having my baby's 2nd birthday party

I have low tolerance...: for selfish people

I am totally terrified of...: people I love dying

If I had a million dollars...: probably put it in the bank knowing me...ya never know!

I am...: sleepy

My home is...: in need of a paint job

My parents taught me...: to be responsible

Every day...: I laugh and smile and think about how blessed I am

My life...: is my family

The best invention ever...: dishwasher

I love it when...: I get to sleep in!!!

Sometimes I...: pretend I didn't hear you

God...: is eternal

My first thought waking up...: tired..oh so tired

Primer

When we first saw this place which was to become "our house," I hated it. I thought they want that much for THAT house. But Scott was really excited about it so when made an appointment to do a walk through. The porch looked like a creepy old horror movie. Seriously. We walked inside. The only plus I could come up with was that it was big. 4 bedrooms on the second floor and a redone attic with 2 nice big rooms. Oh, wait- there were 2 bathrooms. plus!

But I certainly wasn't sold. Finally we had seen a trillion houses and Scott always came back to this one. The one with the nightmare porch? The one with the horrible floors? And don't even get me started on the kitchen. But finally I gave in, and we were the proud owners of our "new" house.

Soon we will have lived here 2 years. We are almost done with the porch and the flooring has been redone. Things here and there. But the thing that has been the worst- and if you saw our porch this is saying something- was the bedrooms' wall paint. It is horrible! In Luke's room it is a horrible powder purple. Rachel and Will's room has 3 light blue walls and ONE dark blue. Our room is a terrible dark greenish. AND the best one is the playroom that is uneven pink and white stripes. The horror.

And now with our Baby Bella on the way, I decided it was time to rearrange. And in order to shuffle the kids around, PAINTING must get done. Because Bella's room (formally Luke's) will be pink. And Luke's room (formally #1 and 2's room) will have walls that all have the same color. And Will and Rachel's room will not have pink stripes. Thank-you very much. Our room will have to come later....

So when we painted the downstairs (you don't want to know), my husband introduced me to primer. I assumed you pick a color and paint. Oh no, the home depot worker explained. Must primer first. So through out downstairs adventure I discovered 2 things. I can do primer. I can not do the main paint. It is bad. Really bad.

We moved upstairs, I began to work on getting all of the rooms primed. And I love it. I love painting over all of the horrible color. The messy lines. And when I am done I am looking at a nice white wall. Ready for whatever I want it to be.

I wish we had life primer. By one gallon and apply evenly. Coat all of our mistakes. Get to start over. A fresh slate whenever you need it. No past mistakes or consequences. Just a white wall to do whatever you want with it.

Monday Review

1. Drs. appointment went well. I am 30 weeks. I had a different nurse who did the weight so fast I couldn't see it. I think I didn't gain any. Yeah me. See ya in 2 weeks. Alrighty then.

2. When taking your children to the park requires hoodies, socks and shoes, and still chattering of the teeth on JULY FLIPPIN' 20TH I believe you are living in the wrong climate.

3. Chicken salad sandwich makes a good snack.

4. Bags of books from SIL is a wonderful thing. I just finished one and am giddy about picking another one! Oh I love to read.

5. Unless aliens take over the planet (or I am tired) tomorrow I will begin to primer the last kids room. Then we can paint!

6. It is 8:30 and I am beyond ready for bed. I took a nap yesterday and I felt like I could fall asleep all day. Uh-oh. 3rd tri setting in!

Lucas Scott

My boy. You turn two today. Two?? I have said to some "when did he turn one?" A boy full of life and mischief. A boy who much rather who suffer the consequences than listen to his mother. A little boy who finally gave us our big brown eyes and his double dimpled cheek. My boy who has to dump cereal all over the floor to find the piece he wants or wants to see if this really will flush. My sweet boy who curls into my lap at night and who always has to ask "what hapeen?" if you are crying. My little morning alarm clock. The joy you bring could never be predicted. We are blessed by your laugh and love. We love you.

Grief

Grief. It sneaks up on you. Little things trigger it. An unwelcomed dream. A question you would have asked. Future plans or past memories.

I don't know how other people deal with grief. I push on. I move. I don't think. I know some say that you should face it head on. Deal with it. I can't. I skirt around it. It comes up fast but I push it back. My mind wonders and quickly I change the subject. Sometimes I try to force myself to think about it. To test it. To see if it still hurts as bad. And even when I am just peeking over the edge- it hurts. I can't look at it. I would shatter.

When the ..stuff..floods your shower

Today was grocery shopping day. I am not a fan. Not only am I not a fan in general of shopping but definitely not grocery shopping. I always spend so much money and come back not knowing what I bought or what I should make. Yes, I know I SHOULD make a menu, a plan and then stick to it. But when we are out of crack-up soup and down to our last gallon of milk (again), it is time to suck it up and go. Thankfully my mom offered to watch 1,2, and 3 so I could go. By the time I finished shopping (one woman said to me, "I don't envy you putting all that away"), picked up the kids, got home and put EVERYTHING away, my feet were killing me. I decided to make stuffed shells because I thought ordering a pizza when I just spent gobs of cash on groceries probably wasn't very classy. go me.

When Scott is on day shift I LOVE to see the truck pull up. Because the children RUN to him. They are so excited to see him and leave me alone. *cough, cough* Plus, I have dinner and he really does pitch in at night. He loves to play with them, and he puts them to bed. It is a nice little deal. Tonight with my feet aching I was especially thrilled. All I wanted to do was eat, take a nice shower, and crawl into bed. SO............ we finished dinner and Scott was going out to mow the grass, first he was helping me clear the table. He was rinsing plates and running the garbage disposal when both side of the sink filled with horrible nasty garbage/stink nasty stuff. Great. Scott gets to work on plunging in, and draino-ing it. I go to the bathroom and gasp. The shower is now filling with stank nasty stuff. Smelly, yucky, can't even tell you STUFF. I call for Scott. He is not happy. He goes to the basement. He is even more unhappy. Seems we have a back-up there too. After a couple of hours with a shovel and some words later, he announces that he needs a shower and we have to order a new dumpster.

Just when you think a nice quiet night, the stuff backs up the garbage disposal.

the zoo, the zoo

In my quest for the "greatest summer ever" we decided to go to the zoo. Which in theory sounded like a great idea! Except the night before William came down with a fever. He said his brain threw-up which I am taking it means he has a headache?? We waited to see what morning would bring. Well, he woke up fever free and I asked him how he was feeling. "Great!" he said. So we packed up and set off for the zoo with my sister and mom too.

The ride wasn't too bad. And as soon as we got there Will said "Look at all these humans!" Why he will not use the word "people" and still "humans" is beyond me. We had a really nice day looking at the animals. Luke was fascinated. He never wanted to leave one place to check out another. Poor Will though. He started to feel not so good. He laid down in the wagon. His fever went up. And it went down hill from there. After a good couple of hours at the zoo we were ready to head home. And many had it gotten HOT! And since my air conditioner is broken, this was not good news. I felt like I was having trouble breathing, I started swelling, and poor Will was moaning in the backseat.

When we got home, I gave him Tylenol and he felt better. He ate some soup, which was the first thing he ate all day. We had chinese food!

Now, Scott is dayshift for 3 days. SO what to fill my day with?? I have so much to do at home. We must fix up the playroom because it is becoming Will and rachel's room. There is always the laundry and everyday stuff. And there is this horid smell coming from my livingroom...I don't even want to go there!

Monday Review

1. I am 29 weeks and will turn the ripe old age of 29 at the end of the week...

2. Apparently my not sleeping is not because of Scott not being here...although it helps. I couldn't sleep last night either...hhhmmmm...anyone have any sleep inducing remedies??

3. Pregnant women go through A LOT of toilet paper.

That is all....it was a slow day

scared of the dark

I have never been a fan of scary things. I never watched scary movies as a kid (if I could get out of it.) I never went into haunted houses. I hated Halloween. I am not a fan of the "adrenaline rush" that people say it gives them. Give me a nice romantic comedy thank-you very much.

But despite me always avoiding scary things, I was always afraid of the dark. My brother and I had the battle of the nightlight for years. He insisted he couldn't sleep when it was on and I called him a big fat liar and wanted it on. We would fall asleep with it on. He would wake up and turn it off. I would wake up and freak out and turn it back on. This dance would go on throughout the night. Brat.

However, as I got older, I pretty much conquered that fear. I now sleep with the light off. That is when Scott is home. And Scott being home every night was never a problem. Until he started his new job. Now he does (at least) 7 night shifts every 28 days. And at times, being afraid of the dark is a problem. What am I afraid of?? Someone breaking in?? The bogeyman?? My old, creaking house?? I don't know.

But what I do know is that I was up last night at 2:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. My house was making noises and I came downstairs to make sure the door is locked. Again. I turned on all of the lights. I got on the computer and piddled around. I went up to bed where two of my little cherubs were sleeping. And I waited for morning. I didn't go back to bed until 6 a.m. And then I was up when Luke got up. Man, I am so very very tired. I have to get a handle on this night shift thing. I guess soon though I will have Bella to keep me company.

Today I had to skip church. My eyes were all puffy and my huge body was slow going. I kind-of just sat around. I should have painted but I just couldn't. This should be a busy week. Tomorrow I may go out to the school and pick up some stuff. I really need to go grocery shopping. Tuesday we are going to the zoo!!! Then we have the upstairs to paint and porch to finish. And this weekend is the Family reunion. AND.....my birthday! and Sunday is Luke's birthday.

But for now, I am going to curl up in a ball and sleep....

VBS as a kid

When I was a kid, the little local United Methodist church did the summer VBS. We didn't attend the church. We attend the much BIGGER (hahahaha) catholic church. BUT everyone went to VBS. SO there was about 6 of us. No, not really. Probably about 30 or so.

VBS was in the morning. We would would wake up and rub the sleep from our eyes. Clutching the quarter our mom gave all of us kids for offering, we would trek up the mountain. Really it was just a big hill but to us at 8:30 a.m., it was a mountain.

Now, I remember singing time. Mim (I believe her name was) who (no disrespect cause I know she is still around) but I thought was so old. But she played the piano with ease though and led us kids in worship. We would sing and laugh. We always had snack outside sitting on the steps. Our favorite craft was always the painting day. We had a bible teacher every year. One time we made Viv laugh for days because we told her that the dead guy looked more like he was swimming. And when we got older John volunteered to teach us (even though we were too old!) He was very soft spoken but would laugh and play games with us. The pastor would always be involved. Pastor Tom praying before and after. Pastor Roy walking around with balloons on his head and teaching us how to play don't steal the bacon.

And closing night was the best. We would have a bonfire right there at the church!! We would all memorize a scripture, and learn a song for our grade. And we would put on a program. With all of our families there, the town seemed to empty into the church. Then downstairs we would go!!! Hot dogs and marshmallows were roasted outside. We ran around and laughed and played. Showing our parents the crafts we had made. The bible notebook we had completed. We went every year to VBS. Wishing it was 2 weeks instead of the 1.

Now, I can't tell you one song we sang in those million years of VBS. I can't tell you the theme or the scripture I am sure I memorized. The only crafts I slightly remembered is plaster and painting. I don't remember the snack or the message. BUT I do remember the people.

I remember those people who gave up their morning one week one summer to come and laugh and play. The adults who who hugged you and were happy you were there. I never felt out of place or lonely up there. Everyone knew our name and our family. The adults played the games, and ate the hot dogs. And it wasn't until I was older did I truly appreciate what they did. Men and women. Young and old. Coming up to the church, decorating, planning, and loving us. They did it because they wanted to make a difference in the live of the kids. They wanted us to know the love of Jesus was not a story but it was first hand something REAL. They wanted to SHOW us that. And they did. I know they made a difference in mine.

I just can't.....

So today I was going to tell you the story about how I had to go to labor and delivery today and about freaked out. (a blood test- nothing major). Or some fun childhood VBS memories...or how great I am for finishing painting the trim...

But I can't....I am so stinking tired. I may sleep tonight- even if Scott is on night shift...Save my stories for another day....

Good Morning...

I woke up this morning with brown stuff smeared all over the toilet seat. Are you kidding me I thought? It was peanut butter. You don't want to know how I found out.

Going backwards...

In the beginning of this pregnancy, I was sick a lot. Not so much in the morning. Although my morning commute to work sometimes would make me sick...but I really felt horrible when I got home and the evenings were the worst. I didn't eat dinner for quite a long time. Then into my 2nd trimester I guess things improved. I really wasn't sick much at all. I wasn't tired much. I was really feeling pretty good. NOW, I don't know what is up. I guess moving into the last stretch but I didn't feel like it would hit 4 days into it!! I have been so sick lately. I get so nauseous in the car. Heartburn has been hitting like crazy. I thought I was pin pointing the food that was causing it but it seems to be everything anymore. AND I am getting so tired! Like I am walking back into the 1st trimester. I think eating small meals more often may help. And staying away from things I know make me sick. On the bright side, I am not really uncomfortable yet. The summer heat really has not been that bad (the cold is pretty depressing really), and my back is ok. AND my nerve that was bothering in my leg let up! So that is great.

Tonight was night 2 at VBS for us. God's love changes us. I got to teach my kids the baby shark song. Will was thrilled. And my kids were much calmer tonight. But Scott did have my baby Luke a lot. Tomorrow (Scott's birthday!!!!) he has to go on night shift ;( This is his long 4 day run where we won't see much of him until Sunday. I hate this part of the month! But with VBS and such I guess we will keep busy!!

Monday Review

1. A very good doctors appointment. I only gained 1 pound! WOO-HOO I didn't even want to look with the 4th and all. AND of course peanut is doing great. 2 week check-ups now!

2. Pizza still makes me sick. Why do I keep doing that?

3. Crib bottoms apparently cave in when jumped on repeatedly by three children.

4. Who thought a box of sand was a good idea? Although hosing children off is very fun to watch.

5. Volunteering for VBS sounds like a great idea. Until you are there, and your 3 pre-schoolers are in your group acting like crazies, you are 7 months pregnant and TIRED, half-way though you get sharp pains in your stomach which force you to sit down and wonder if that is what a front contraction feels like? (never had one, all back labor), the kids are swinging from the decorations, and when you collapse in your front door and think next year (when I also have a 10 month old) I may have to pass.

6. Although VBS is causing me to collapse into bed (see above) it is nice to fall asleep with the songs in my head. Perhaps next year, I will come to pick the kids a little early and enjoy the closing. AHHHH... yes...compromise.

7. However, our VBS theme is God's love. Today was God's love is a free gift. When my son was asked what was his all time favorite gift, he said when Santa bought him a toothbrush! By the way, SANTA also spent mucho dinero $$$$ and got him a Wii that same Christmas. *SIGH*


That is all.

28

Today I am 28 weeks. That puts me officially in the 3rd tri-mester. Which means I am 12 weeks out from an on-time delivery. 9 weeks out from when Luke decided to enter the world. I know I could go on time or even late. But all 3 of my little ones have been early. That being said, I actually wouldn't mind an on time or even a little late. I would love a full month in school to get stuff ready before I "take off." However, I am sure I will be sooner than that.

All of the being said, last night as I went to the bathroom for the 250th time, I caught a glimse of myself in the mirror. Wow, am I gi-normous. (giantic+enormous in one). And 2- this baby is coming sooner than I am ready for!

I have so much to do and get. I started to make a mental list at 3:30 in the morning which really doesn't help when you wake up and remember only 2 things- car seat and baby monitor. I had PLANNED to make a list months ago and get like one thing each payday. But then I waited because I wanted to see boy or girl (although what does girl/boy matter with a baby monitor??) So I need a new list.

And besides the stuff I need to buy for this little one, there were things I wanted done before she arrives. For example, every kids is changing rooms. Will and Rachel are moving into the bigger room- which is now the playroom- and Luke is moving into the room that was theirs. Luke must be alone to sleep. MUST. And the baby will move into Luke's little room off of our room. And they all need painted.

I just feel like I am running out of time. Really she could be here in 2 months! And all of that aside. SHE COULD BE HERE IN 2 MONTHS!!! Holy smokes batman- I better get ready!

My men

Will- "Mom, I don't know how this got into my mouth?"
He shows me something little and unrecognizable.
Mom (me)- "I don't know Will. Maybe it is a popcorn shell. Throw it in the trash."
Will places it back into his mouth.
Will- "It's a booger. YUM!"
Mom is now gaging...

::

Scott- Why does my cup stink?
Me- Probably because my dishwasher stinks and I need a new one.
Scott- That is what we should get you for your birthday.
Me- Oh, so you got new golf clubs and I get a dishwasher?
Scott- Well, you don't like to golf?

A summer day....

My eyes open. It is MORNING! I jump out of bed with my feet running! (Obviously this is not 2009...think back about 20 years!). We, as in my 2 brothers and I , go downstairs to get ready. We make the phone calls. Which is silly since everyone knows where we are going and everyone is going to be there. We grab our mitts and our bats and we are out the door. No I don't eat breakfast and no I don't apply sunscreen. It is summer for crying out loud.

We gather at the ball field. With the cool morning chill and some players wiping at their sleepy eyes, we walk down the hill (no need to use the steps!). There were about 10 or so of us. On most days, it was me and one other girl. For some reason the boy population took over our small, dusty town. So you ran with the boys or didn't go at all. We picked teams. We usually just involved a "you there, you there..." And we played. All morning and into the afternoon. For awhile I was the only one who was able to hit B's curve ball. So the rest of the kids banned it. A fly ball into the outfield was a home run. We hit and ran. Screamed and probably cursed. We were our own umpires which is where a lot of trouble began....and it usually centered around my head strong brother. (The Air Force one now! ;) )Screaming over a call would begin. Yelling name calling. All things 10 year olds do. Either the fight would send us all home or my mother blowing her whistle.

We went home and had lunch. I was always pretty sun burnt by then. Somedays we went back to the field. But a lot of days it was too hot. There was one tree we would all gather under (and never all fit). Sometimes we would go to the park. Mess around under the pavilion. Or ride bikes. Or mess around in the woods. Summer days were long and we were tired. We would return to our homes before dark to check in. The darkness brought games like "man hunt" and others. And we were happy.

We were all from the same town but had very different lives. Came from very different families. In school we fell into different groups. Some might not even wave to others in the hall. But summer time was different. We played, fought, and laughed. It truly was like one of those old time movies! A little town and a crowd of kids. I hope my children are able to find that kind of happiness. A childlike joy of hitting homeruns and running the bases in bare feet. Coming home tired and sunburnt.

I think of all those guys on summer days like today. Years later. One of them is gone now. Died too young. He was a kid with a firey temper but I had seen him cry. Cry with me. A couple are married. A lot of us have kids. Kids who look like us!! Some of us live around here and some states away. I wonder if they think of us from time to time??