Sunday, January 29, 2012

This is why God made little boys....

Luke sitting beside me on the bed- "Mommy, I love you. You are so beautiful."
Me- "Thanks Luke!"
Luke- "I wished Daddy didn't already marry you."
Me- "Why is that Luke?"
Luke- "Cause I would marry you then."
Lukie and I camping- summer of 2011

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Make over

As I walked onto the porch I knew I was in trouble.The porch which I would refer to as "Freddy Krueger" drive was sagging, broken, and paint peeling. Did I mention it was a red brick house and the roof of the porch was painted pink?? The porch was, once upon a time, green. My husband thought the wrap around porch was amazing. We approached a (heaven help me) blue door. The sight seeing continued to included a room painted with white and pink stripes (uneven of course), a floor that could give you splinters, and a bright orange family room. I should mention I am only mentioning a few of the highlights.

My husband was sold. He told me that our future home had so much "potential." He could do so much with it. After moving in, we quickly figured out how hard it is to move from potential to wonderful. Lots of planning and work. We moved in 4 and a half years ago. We ripped off the porch thanks to some family help and repainted it brown. Redid the door, the floor, and painted almost every room. This weekend we are working on something I have been dreaming of....my bedroom. The paint is an awful dark green and a ceiling trim that is worse. We are going to paint and then get a new bed set!

Last night, exhausted  from watching Scott work *wink*, I finished the book I had been reading. I looked over to my stand and say the book I had bought myself at Christmas. "Just Like Jesus"  by my buddy Max Lucado. I did read the first chapter. Then I got so nervous I put it down.

You see, in the first chapter it asks how your life would look if Jesus took over for a day. A whole 24 hours. Would you do anything different? Would you change the way you talked or thought? Would you take on different tasks and forgo others?

It made me nervous because it brings the question of how much does my faith influence my daily life? Of course I go to church, pray with my kids, make the fact that I am a believer well known. BUT what about in the little things? Do I still harbor a heart of worry? Do I still act in a way that I wouldn't if Jesus were standing there? Am I devoting my time to things that have an eternal impact?

What does this have to do with Freddie Kruger Ave? A make-over, be it a porch, bedroom, or person, takes a plan and lots of work. I thought last night how I wish a change of heart was taken care of as easy as a trip to the hardware store. Sure, it takes more elbow grease to paint trim than attack a bad attitude. But give me elbow grease over self control any day.

I, of course because I am me, begin to argue, whine, talk to God. I try. It is so hard. But do you see what THEY do? I kept reading and Max made quite the statement. It I am a believer I have it already. Jesus has already given me a heart like his. I just have to "tap" into that power. Flip the switch. Slowly. One step at a time.

A plan. To keep reading "Just Like Jesus" even when it makes me uncomfortable. Next step. How about applying a little of what I read. Lots of work? Absolutely.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Ending on an up note

It has been a long week. Very long. Three out of the four kids have been down and out with the flu and strep. :( AND then Scott and I got sick. I ended up with a UTI, sinus infection, ear and throat a mess, and did I mention my back is out?

Let's look on the positive shall we?
This is William's spelling test for this week! Spelling is such a struggle for him (He gets it honestly! I HATE spelling!) But this is the second straight week he has gotten 100%. So proud of him and working hard! AND he brought his AR book home to read this weekend.

Bella is still not sick! No fever. No cough, snot, or anything! woo-hoo

I told Scott tonight that I was in the mood for chocolate. He didn't know what I wanted so he bought me one of everything.

I left my favorite for last. This is my husband. Do you know what he is doing??? Scrapping the horrible trim off of my bedroom wall. Then he is going to paint my bedroom. Hooray. We are going to have a new bedroom! After the paint, we are buying a new bedroom suit, and I am looking for a new comforter set. Sometimes happiness is just a coat of paint away. Or a really good antibiotic. Either will do this lovely Friday.

Monday, January 23, 2012

I have been hanging out in all the wrong places

     For a week, Luke has been sick. Temperature has been up and down. Figured it was the flu and it would pass. Sunday morning at 5 am Luke crawled into bed beside me and instant furnace. I took his temp. 104. I of course then called Scott who was driving home from night shift. We decided to give him Tylenol and then see. By the time Scott was home his temp was down to 99.
     He seemed fine all day. Playing around. Around Four o'clock Luke came and crawled onto my lap and said he was tired. He fell asleep and I took his temp. Still 99. Two hours later he was on fire again. Woke up with a temp of 104.3. Off to the ER we go. I am really getting tired of the inside of a hospital!
     After an icy ride to the hospital, a doctor who scared the tar out of me by saying "we can't see anything physically wrong and it isn't normal for a child to have a temp this long. We need to do a whole spectrum of tests", and half way through the NFC championship game, we found out Luke had strep throat. Good news really. Better than the stomach cancer I had been envisioning after conversation with said doctor.
     When we went to pick up the kids at my moms, we heard that William was sick. Temp of 102. Today he missed school and went to the doctors to get his meds. Tonight....Rachel sick and sleeping for the last two and a half hours. Temp....almost 102. Bella is still holding steady. As well as Scott and I. I figure I will get it on Wednesday when Scott has to go back to work. Yep, I'll be sick and alone with the kids.
     Winter...is it not enough that you cost me WAY too much money in heating bills, you are cold and wet, you are dark and dreary....but must you bring the never ending string of sickness with you?
     55 days until spring. But who is counting? ....me.......

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Dear Angel Face,


I went to my 15 week appointment yesterday. I laid down on the table. Nervous as always. My measurements were "perfect" the dr said. He then got out the doppler to hear your heartbeat. My heart caught in my throat for a minute. Right away we found you. "Baby is being very cooperative today," the dr smiled. "The heartbeat sounds perfect."  "It sure does."


Truly you are my miracle. I know every life is a miracle. A blessing. I have to say with you, I see things differently. It wasn't like I hadn't know others with loss. Family and friends who I have prayed for and cried with. But you see, another friend lost her angel this past weekend. My heart broke again. Another sweet angel in heaven.


We prayed for you before you were ever here. We hoped and wish that we were pregnant. I took about 10 tests but no baby that month. I was so disappointed. The next month I didn't test a second before I knew it would be a for sure yes or no. And it was....a yes.


Mommy's stomach and other health issues were not so great, so the doctor ordered an ultra sound. Daddy and I waited for the ultra sound woman to say something. She turned the screen to us. Pointed to a flicker and said that there you were. "All there really is to see is a heartbeat at this point." I of course was crying "That is plenty." And at Mommy's 10 week appointment Mommy held her breath when the dr first found your heartbeat again. Listening to the steady rhythm I lifted up a prayer of thanks.


You will always be my miracle. You will always be my angel. You will always be my child, my baby. You were from the moment I knew you were coming.


Love always and forever,
Mommy

Monday, January 16, 2012

What happens when you get your appendix out?

 A promise to go to Chuck-e-cheese when you are feeling better. Plus, Rachel and William earned a trip back after first report cards came out. And since second round is coming any day now, figured we would get it in.
Bella approval.

Rachel was watching out for little sister on the slide.

Where a kid can be a kid. Daddy loves chuck e cheese promises.

 Racing to the top.

Rachel was awesome at the basketball game! I was impressed!

Another shooting game.

Air hockey. Love it. One token and they play forever!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Blessings


'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Why I quit my resolution to meal plan and cook more....

Dinner time.....
Rachel- *crying* I hate this! I hate eating


Me- "Do I ever make anything that everyone doesn't hate?"

Will- "Sometimes. Not often, but sometimes."

Me-"You know, some kids have mothers that don't even cook them dinner!"

Luke- "THAT.....WOULD....BE....AWESOME."
 
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After that display, I don't know why I would be nice to them...But I am just that nice I guess.
Hot chocolate with extra marshmallows please. From now on, I am sticking with chocolate for dinner.
 
Bella says "Daddy cheese with me."

"Hmmm...This isn't half bad."

LOTS of marshmallows

He didn't start off with one marshmallow. That is how many survive the first 25 seconds.

more pictures of me!

Trying to suck marshmallows up a straw

Thursday, January 12, 2012

What is for dinner? Chocolate!

I am eating chocolate for dinner.

Spaghetti is made mind you. Scott even made homemade meatballs. But Scott has been on line with Verizon for over an hour and 15 minutes trying to figure out why my new phone won't connect to the Internet. So I wait for him to feed the kids. And the chocolate was staring at me. Actually it was in the shape of a firetruck.  

Normally I don't eat such a lavish supper. But it has been a rough week. School-work has been rough. Things just not working out the way I plan. I have been sick (again). Disappointing when I was doing so well for that...week. Will is throwing up with the stomach flu and the poor kid still has pain from his surgery. I still (still) can't catch up from Christmas/Will being sick/me being sick. Did I mention my Christmas tree is still up? Good thing we got an artificial one this year.

Just feeling run down I guess. January is my least favorite month with February coming in at a close second. I hate the cold. The dark. The yuck.

Nothing is tragically wrong. I will live to write another day. But since I can't have wine by golly I will eat chocolate....for dinner. I may have ice cream later too. If I can stay awake.

ps- I did also eat some spaghetti and I took all of the stuff off of my tree. See? Forward progress....

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Something worth fighting for

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.

 
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.


Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?


Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.


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Somethings are. And somethings aren't. Lord, help me to remember which is which.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Can't we all just get along?

I am a Pittsburgh Steeler Fan. I watch the game and cheer my heart out. I wear my jersey and my Steelers Santa hat. Of course I was watching as my champions played the Denver Broncos in the playoffs. And in case you have not heard, my boys lost. Of course, I was disappointed. But life goes on and next year will come. And me and my terrible towel will be ready.

But what really drives me crazy is the reaction of some people. Steelers are our hometown boys. I understand if you don't like football. Or if you root for another team for whatever reason. A player you follow or your family has always liked that team. Ok with me. But why would you purposefully root against the hometown team just to see them lose? Why make rude and unnecessary comments just to upset the people around you?

I check facebook and see all of these nasty statuses. I have always told my kids there is a difference between rooting for someone and rooting against someone. You can cheer for your team but don't boo the other. It just shows poor sportsmanship. I certainly won't jump all over your team. Point out the mistakes they made. After the game, I shook my head, but that was that. Certainly I didn't get online and start to attack Denver or anyone who was rooting for them.  Certainly I won't tell anyone "boo-hoo" who was yelling and screaming and rooting for their team.

I guess the whole thing might seem silly to some, but I think it is just a ridiculous thing to get so immature about. I plan to root for Denver next weekend. I also plan to continue to teach my kids that it matters how you treat people all the time. What comes out of your mouth matters. Everytime.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Thinking about Hot Chocolate

Rachel from time to time has bad dreams. I can always hear her coming. She wakes up screaming and running from her room into mine and jumps into my bed. Last night was one of those nights. Scott had already left for work at 4:00 a.m. WIll had also found his way into my bed. I moved over and wrapped my arms around her.

Rachel- "Mommy I was so scared."
Me- "I know."
Rachel- "Can you tell me about the happy things."

Rachel and I play this game when she has nightmares. At first, I wasn't really sure how to help her. Then I asked her to think about the happy things. I would list them for her. I would talk about fun things like playing barbies or dress-up. She sometimes smiles with her eyes closed. Soon she drifts back off to sleep. With the happy images, not her scary nightmare.

Last night I told her about building snowmen with carrot noses and coal for eyes and mouth. Having a snowball fight with her brothers and hiding behind the swing set. I told her about hot chocolate with extra marshmallows. Then she drifted back to sleep.

This made me think of a quote that I received through Joyce Meyer Ministries through Facebook the other day. "Cast out wrong thoughts! You don't have to think whatever falls into your head!"

I have always been a worrier. Thoughts will randomly pop into my head. Situations, past mistakes, and fears. Often times I dwell on them. Think on them. What can I do about them? And often the answer is nothing, and yet, I still dwell.

The answers is to cast them out. Don't think on these things. Let it go. Put some "happy thoughts" in my head. To me, happy thoughts are not snowball fights and snowman, although the hot chocolate would be up for consideration. But I can think about my awesome family. The blessing I walk through everyday. Past victories and successes. Maybe even have a little day dream that involves warm, sandy beaches and burring my toes in the hot sand!

The Bible tells us “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

It is my choice what I focus on. This doesn't mean I don't deal with the curve balls and sometimes derailing things life can throw at me, but when I can, I think of good things. Things excellent and worthy of praise. Things that draw me back to the Father and how thankful I am.

This is awesome!!!!

Check this out. Because I would like to start working on relationships, I went looking for sites to help build up a marriage. What an awesome site to receive encouraging tips! AND she used my writing as a guest post which I find so exciting and humbling.
The Generous Wife

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Where is your time?

My husband laughs at me. I am standing at the stove stirring the soup, on the phone, and writing a grocery list at the same time. I hang up the phone and continue to give my son his Pre-spelling test as I move to set the table. The fact that I must be doing half a dozen things at once drives my husband crazy. The fact that he can only seem to handle one thing at a time drives me mad! If I tell my husband two or more things to do at once he gets frustrated. Then he says things like "I can't do it all. I am not you!"

Not that I come even close to doing it all...trust me on that! But I am busy. I hate to say that out loud because seriously, we are all busy. When a group of women all get together, I have noticed that as soon as someone starts spouting of the to-do list, another one says "oh yeah...well listen to all I have to do today." I am a wife, mommy to almost 5, I work full time as a 5th grade teacher, I do choir and nursery, I attempt to help my children the best I can with school and extra activities stuff. I am trying to plan more and clean more. Keep up to date better with things. All this being said, I am busy. As much as I hate to admit it....I have gotten to busy for my husband.

Once upon a time, when my husband and I were in a couples group, we had to make a list of our priorities. 1-10. I know my top three were 1. God 2. Husband 3. Kids...  Then we were to make a list from 1-10 on the things we spend the most time and energy on. Ahhh... The results were not good. To be honest, I am not sure where he fell. Now that I think about it, I hope he made the top ten.

Scott is my number one human relationship. He was there before the kids and he will be there after. I guess maybe I think because he can cut up his own food and scrub behind his ears, that he is a big boy and can take care of himself. Or that he can wait. But he has been waiting a long time. 'bout almost 8 years I believe.

I need a change. I have read the books and done the conferences. I did the plans and the rest. But what I need to do is invest the time. I can say something or someone is important to me but if I don't give them the time they deserve, do those words really matter? I joined a 31 day prayer group. Button on the side here if you are interested. I plan to lift Scott daily in prayer to the Lord, and then give him my time. I also have ran across quite a few inspiring blogs that write about marriage as well that I am so interested in reading. I want this to be my focus. Because #5 is on his or her way. And the other 4 need a rock solid foundation too. And mu husband is a great man and deserves a wife who shows him how much he is needed and appreciated.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

lies and coffee

Will- "Mom. You lied to me. I can not believe it!"
Me- "What did I lie about?"
Will- "First off, you told me they weren't really staples, and I find out that they ARE really staples. Then you said they were strings and they are really called stitches."
Me- "Are you serious?"
Will- "And to think you lied. And all just to make a kid feel better....geesh" Shaking his head

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Bella- "Can I have some coffee?"
Me- "It isn't coffee. It is ice water."
Bella- "No, it is coffee."
Me- "Whatever you say."
Bella- after drinking "coffee"  "Yuck! Bad coffee."