Praise

 My life is an example to many,

because You have been my strength and protection.

That is why I can never stop praising You,

I declare Your Glory all day long.

Psalm 71:7-8

As we carry on with what we can give to Jesus this season or the pa-rumpa-papum project as I like to call it, it brings to mind a certain offspring of mine who "didn't like to sing the songs in church." Instantly flabbergasted and appalled I didn't know what to say at that moment.  I have been a song girl since I found my Savior. I could spend sun up to sun down singing His praises. I know however God gives us different gifting and blessings but this conversation was not about that. So I asked said child as we were driving home from church, "What can you offer Him?" The child quite confused by my start of the conversation. "Who?" "Jesus- the one who came to Earth to suffer and die for your sins so you can live in no fear of damnation. What can I offer him back?" "Not a lot you can get God," my child said. -Oh but how wrong he was as we will see at the end of all this. I tried to explain it like this, "You are right. It can be a group of songs we sing to get to the message. You can sing the words or maybe not. Go through the motions. How do you feel?" "Same." "See here is where our paths diverge "(yes this is the vocab I use with my kids. I am weird.  

"When I begin to sing the song, I have to take a minute and remind myself what I am doing. I am not just singing a pretty song. I am acknowledging who He was, is, and will be.  I knowingly offer this song, as little as it may seem sometimes, but I offer it as my heart's sacrifice. I focus heaven word and think on how proud the Maker is of all His children as praise just pours though the heavens. I am not just singing a singing a song, but reminding myself who He is, causing my heart to become more pliable in the potters hand,  reminding myself of His faithfulness in my life, and coming to offer Him one thing that He created me to do. Bring Praise to His Holy name. 

Praise shifts the atmosphere. Suddenly your focus has been altered and you can see situations for what they really are with our God lens. I remember a time in life where I was weary. Oh so weary. I was driving somewhere alone, and I thought to myself, God I have nothing left to give. I can't even open my mouth to pray, because every time I tried I would choke up. I did get a whispered "Jesus" out. Which is a side note but an important one none the less. There is power in the name of Jesus. So many times in my life I have had nothing else to utter. Again, His name brings focus, clarity, and I believe a shift in the heavenly realm. Try it when you're scared, hurt, tired, excited, thankful, joyful...you get the idea. Sometimes His name is all we need. 

I remember being at a training for my Christian camp where I was going to be a camp counselor. Kathy White asked us to bow our heads so we could open it all in prayer. We obediently did what Kathy said (if you were blessed to know dear Kathy, she wasn't a woman you argued with). It got so very, very quiet. Especially with over thirty 20somethings gathered together. We just stood there quietly. At first it felt awkward, but then it felt peaceful. The atmosphere was changing. After a few minutes, Kathy quietly whispered, "Jesus....Jesus.....Jesus." Then she was silent again. A few more minutes and she lifted her head and said "Amen." Hands down one of the most powerful prayers I ever heard prayed. It wasn't Kathy, it was acknowledgment of the name that called us all here that changed it all. 

As I was driving down this road, I felt a tug at my heart. "You can praise me." Praise? I wasn't feeling very "praisey" at the moment. My life was falling around my ears. "Praise me." came the persistent voice. A song I had been playing over and over again was a song by elevation worship called do it again. I opened my mouth to sing and again couldn't get the words out. As I drove on, I straightened my back and thought this is one battle the enemy isn't going to win. I began to hum out the song. It shifted. Right there in my white mini van in the middle of the road, in the mist of my valley, the atmosphere changed. I was no longer looking down but up. Oh and isn't up such a glorious place to see. My humming got louder and louder and soon I started to be able to recite some lines "I know the night won't last, Your Word will come to pass. My heart will sing your praise again."Suddenly I was having my own worship verse. Singing out with tears streaking down my face. But I felt it, the spiritual atmosphere shift.  I was no longer starring at my shoe strings wondering how I was going to provide for my kids. I was in the very presence of God!

That's what Praise does. It changes things, You might not think so in that minute- although it often is the case for me- but you are beating back the enemy. You are standing on the promises of God and praising His never ending goodness to you. How can I grow weary and weak  with my Jehovah Jireh- my provider by my side.

I get it child. I don't always feel like praise either. But that's the enemy talking, because he knows when we Praise the Lord on High powerful things happen. The world starts to get set straight.The realignment that is someday coming is beginning. The King is Among us. Darkness must flee praise. It is like acid dripping into the ears of the lost. It reminds them of how much they lost and how much we gained. The darkness flees, the Holy Spirit fills the air, a change is taking place. Certainly in the spirit world we are winning battles, but even in the physical one here we are moving forward. We start to see the world from a Godly perspective and suddenly I am not so lost anymore. 

Praise is like climbing up onto my Father God's lap, and telling Him how awesome he is. It doesn't always have to be song. Maybe a Prayer lifted up to remind us. Maybe a testimony of God's saving Grace to push back the darkness. All I know is this, I never end up where I started when I Praise my Father in Heaven. He moves mountains in the spiritual realm and He moves in my own situation. He brings whatever I need because I first acknowledged He is the Great I Am and apart from Him I have nothing. Humility is a praise worthy trait in the kingdom. God never intended you to go this world alone. He wants to walk with you. What better way, what better gift to give Him than His rightful Praise. 

Today, to honor you God most High, I bring my praise. May it rise on wings of eagles and never grow weary. You are a God who is worthy of the most high praise. 

Today, I bring you my praise. 

Choice

 Every day we make choices some as insignificant as what we wear to life alerting ones considering health or family. As indecisive person myself, I like the plan to already be set up, and I run with it. Choices can bring so many unknown variables. Every once in a while, I am forced to make some important decision that I stew over pros and cons and yes and nos. In the end hoping I made the right one and secretly wishing again that I didn’t’ have to make the decision

Why is this such a big deal? Well, a long time ago God decided that love was better served with a choice. When beings are created without a choice to love God and it is the default, how much weight does that carry? Do you want your spouse or your significant other with you because they choose you every day or because it was a plan set up and they have to. Of course, we all want to be chosen. So did God. He went out on a pretty big limb here and gave us mere mortals the gift of free will. We would not be forced into a relationship with our creator or even forced to acknowledged he existed. What followed is the greatest love story ever told. 

Let’s face it. When left to our own devices we are a mess. We are selfish. Unless a force acts upon us we will choose US every time. Unless love steps in, we will only want what serves our own wants, desires, and needs. 

The world was dark in chaos, and God decided He would do something about it. He did not take away our ability to choose. What He did was up the ante. In our world of darkness, God wanted to send us something that would demonstrate His love. Would be His walking talking love. But still left the choice up to us.

He sent His one and only Son to Earth as a baby with no super powers or titles. He sent Jesus to pay the sacrifice that had to be made for our rebellion. God is Holy. Completely and Utterly Holy and He can’t stand to have anything unholy in His sight. How was this to work with these bumbling and fumbling humans? He sent His Son not just to show us-in person- His love, He sent His child to pay the price. 

I have pondered this over and over in my mind. Take my everything. Take my very life, but not my child. As a parent, there is a kind of love there that I don’t think any word in and language can quite describe that kind of love. You can call me anything you like, but call my baby something and now we have issues. Make my child cry, and those won’t be the only tears going to be shed. My babies are my heart strings. To even consider, sacrificing them for “a good cause” is unacceptable. To sacrifice my children for spoiled, selfish, and antagonistic people? You have lost your mind. It’s no metaphor to say I would stand in front of a bullet for my child. I mean it when I say if my last breath saved theirs then so be it. That is a parent.

AND YET. What would convince God to send His only Son to be treated so poorly- mocked, cursed, tormented, and ultimately killed a horrible death to be a ransom for our freedom. God knew that in order for His creation, these humans to stand before him, and celebrate eternity with them they had to become Holy. Something they were unable to face on their own. He needed a sinless sacrifice to spill blood once and for all to cover the sins of many. Cover it does. 

So why? The only reasonable answer is a kind of love we know so little about, it will only be revealed to us in Glory, Heaven. It seems almost unreverent to use the word love because it is so over used and this- THIS – what he has toward us is so. Much. More. He wanted us. This was the only way to fulfil the law, and meet with his people. The world became BLACK and a sorrow that has never and never will be known again fell, and God the Father, gave us His Son. 

Wow. What could ever be payback for this? It is ultimately impossible. There is nothing you or I can do that would come close to repayment. It is ridiculous when we have entire denominations thinking they need works to be saved. The scriptures say that all our righteousness is like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). We couldn’t work our way to heaven in any circumstance. 

What can I give the Son who came as a baby, would grow to a man, and ultimately become my Savior? I give Him my choice. 

This was the plan with freewill all along. We would CHOOSE Him. We swallow our pride and take that one step toward him. We say “It might not make sense right now, I might be the only one doing it, I surely don’t know what I’m in for, but Jesus, when given the choice to live for you or without you, I choose you. I choose you today. I choose you in the valleys and on the hilltops. I choose you when I am feeling it and when I am most certainly not feeling it. Every morning when I open my eyes, I choose you. 

That is my first gift I bring to my God this holiday season. I bring my gift of choice. I choose you for all eternity. I am in it for the long haul. I am amazed that I even get to even make this choice. But true love cannot be force or coerced. It must be given with an open hand, with the opportunity to close it at any time. It all comes down to our freewill choice. No fireworks, no promises of riches or fame- usually quite the opposite! But we have fall so in love with this Jesus that we come confidently to His throne and say, “This is crazy. I don’t know why you would want me, but I am so, so glad you do. Because today and from everyday into eternity, I choose you. Without any other wants or reservation. I choose you because you first chose me.

So today my gift most Holy of Fathers is this- I give you my gift of choice. I choose you.

pa rumpa pum pum

     Anyone who knows me well knows it is no huge surprise when I say that Christmas is not my favorite. It i just too much music, lights, decorations, presents, cookies, concerts, dances, other obligations for my preferred low stimulation heart. Also though, again if you know me, Jesus is my very favorite. So every year I am at odds with the guilt of the way I feel verse faking it to be part of things. It was quite a surprise to me that as I was driving I started to hum the song "The little drummer boy." Again, not my even my top 10 Christmas tolerated songs. I started to ponder this song and this little drummer boy.

    I thought to myself, that yes Christmas is above all, Jesus's birthday. What would I give Him if given the chance. I found myself singing "I have no gift to bring that's fit to give our King.....parumpa pum pum." What do you give the Creator of a universe. "I guess you already have a toaster," I laughed. "Plus trust me, there is nothing on tv or a phone you want to see." What do we bring to a King with no need or want of anything?

    Scripture tells us in Acts 17:24-27 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth. He doesn’t live in shrines made by human hands, and he isn’t served by people as if he needed anything. He himself gives everyone life, breath, and everything else. From one man he made every nation of humanity to live all over the earth, fixing the seasons of the year and the national boundaries within which they live, so that they might look for God, somehow reach for him, and find him. Of course, he is never far from any one of us.”

    What does God need? Nothing. What does he want? More than I thought. 

    I plan to take each day this December and look deep into something I can give him each day. My gift to bring. Come and join me as we look into scripture and find out what we can bring out King to bring a smile to His face. To bring before him as our gift in the truest of forms. 

    Come Lord Jesus. 

It wasn't suppose to be this way

 It wasn't suppose to be this way.

Tears pool in my lap. I don't bother to wipe them away anymore. I feel the rain pour from my eyes slide down my cheeks. Some drip from my chin; some from my nose. This being the very reason I knew not to wear eye make up. Not that it matters. Who cares if black is streaking down your face when your heart lay at your feet in a million pieces? It will take more than a make up wipe to tackle this mess. 

We prayed. We fasted. We begged. We did everything right. And he is still gone. The moment I first heard, it was like I was in a tunnel, everything echoed and my ears then started ringing. I read the message again and again. "No, God, No! It wasn't suppose to end this way!" I cried into a pillow. I let myself feel and release the shock and grief. Just when I though I could catch my breath it came flooding back. I felt betrayed, angry even. "But God...." I couldn't even finish my sentence. He had given, and He had taken away.  How could this have happened? There must be some mistake? Someone pull me from this nightmare how ever I can get away from it. 

For a couple of days, I again went into shock mode. I didn't know what to even say to God. It felt awkward, and I will admit angry. When I finally got up my courage to look heavenward, I let it all out. My pain and hurt. Then I heard the smallest of voices whisper to my heart, "Theresa, my girl, do you trust me?" Like a petulant child I remained quiet. Then I gave out my own wants, my own desires, my own plans on how this was to play out. What his healing could have brought! "Jesus," I choked out. Again, "Theresa, do you trust me?"

Trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or some thing. Did I trust him? God is either good all the time or none of the time. I cannot serve a God who changes like shifting shadows. I claim He is good. I shout He is faithful. Here in this valley, what do I say? In moments where life hurts, bad. 

There is no middle ground. You don't get t straddle that line. Either God is Sovereign or not. 

Does my faith have the strength to rise? 

Theresa, do you trust me. 

Trust is scary. So scary. Trust sometimes requires us to suspend what we are actually seeing and to believe in what we know to be true. Trust sometimes means letting go and knowing He will catch you. But that moment in between the jump and His arms, it is scary. 

It comes down to this. Do I trust Him or not? Do I know His character or not? Has He not proven Himself to me over and over. Do I think He doesn't care? No. I believe he is collecting each tear that falls. That he cries with us as He did with Mary and Martha even though He knew what was coming for Lazarus. Our broken hearts break His. Imagine your child in pain, and you don't stop it because you know something better is coming. It still doesn't take away the sting of their tears.  Revelations 21:4 says "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." This earth we are now a part of is not our home. There is so much more coming. So much we don't know. In the not knowing, I have to go to someone who knows something-anything. 

Trust is scary. Faith is scary. You know what makes it less scary? Knowing I have a God who loves me dearly, has shown himself to me time and time again personally, and knowing the heart beat of the Father. 

I dug into the Bible for answers. His word is true or its not. 

Psalm 91:2

"This I declare about the Lord:

He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;  

He is my God, and I trust Him. "

He is MY God, and I trust in Him. Theresa, do you trust me. You are MY God, Elohim Shama- The God who hears. You are my refuge and my safety, Jehovah Uzzr- The Lord my strength

Hebrews 10:22 (a)- let us go into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting Him. 

Even when My heart is breaking and I can't see past the darkness, I will trust in you Elohim Qarob- God is near. Theresa, Do you trust me? Even in this? God you are Rum Rosh- The one who lifts my head. 

"Yet still I belong to you;

you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

leading me to a glorious destiny.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

I desire you more than anything on earth. 

My health may fail and my spirit grow weak,

but God remains the strength of my heart;

He is mine forever."

Psalm 73:23-26

I lift my head. I don't pretend to understand. I won't fake that my heart isn't shattered. What I will do is praise God that I can trust Him with my fragile heart, my shaking hands, my leaking eyes, my mortal understanding. 

He whispered, Theresa, do you trust me?" "Yes, I trust you," I whispered back.  

How do we change the world?

 

What's it worth?

What's it worth?

“When I a have a nickel and trade them in for 5 pennies, am I making more money?” “NO!” “Why not? I went from 1 to 5!” “Because you still have the same value just different coins,” says the lively child in the back. “Excellent!” We have learned value can be fixed as it is in pennies and nickels, or value can be reflected on a different scale altogether in things such as memories and pictures. Where does the value come from? What makes some things worth more than others? What determines something or someone’s worth?

What you are willing to trade for it.

Value is defined as “the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.”

I have a letter that my grandfather wrote my grandmother when he was away at at WWII. They were young and in love and I imagine the letters were what kept him going in those dark and dangerous days. The paper, the ink, the envelope, all not worth more than a few coins. But the value. Words that my young grandfather wrote about life and love. Faith and devotion. About a hope in coming home and if not, a hope in returning to His Savior. Worth a couple coins indeed.

To me this simple sheet of paper is irreplaceable. No amount of money can signify or replace its value. The value is not found on the earthly paper but in the heavenly significance of a man and a woman who are declaring their love for one another and their heavenly Father that will echo through generations.

My pictures. My past journals. My memories. All things that hold little earthly value, but to me, priceless. As I dug through my Bible researching value here are some treasures I uncovered.

1. Our value is not based on our behavior. Thank God. The Bible says “8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 You do not have to clean yourself up to come to Jesus. He loves you right where you are. Foul mouthed, selfish, and self important as you are. Be warned though. He loves you too much to let you stay there.

2. Your value is not based on what anyone else thinks of you. ANYONE. You feel as though your spouse doesn’t get it. Your kids don’t appreciate it. That evaluation at work has you stewing all day. Proverbs tells us “It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe.” Galatians 1:10 Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.” Chose to live for the one whose opinion matters for eternity. All else fades.

3. Your value never changes. God will never, ever give on you. This is a non-negotionale point. Phil 1:6 says “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. I know sometimes you don’t see the the worth or the why. Just take one more step. Then another. He will carry you on! Timothy 1:12-16 Paul was a murder of anyone who proclaimed the name of Christ Jesus. The blood of many innocent souls coated his hands. And YET!!!! God did not surrender him over to the darkness. No! He used him and this to prove that we do not determine what we are worth. Our actions do not void our destiny. Paul said in 1 Timothy 12 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. 13 Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. 14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.

4. You are made in the imagine of God Genesis 1:27

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

Genesis 2:7 “Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.”

********And here again my friend, hangs all the threads of eternity. You are worth what God was willing to trade for you.*****

5. Your value is so important that the living and moving God ransomed His own Son’s blood for you.

“knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. 20 He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for the sake of you 21 who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.”

1 peter 1: 18-21

My students understand value as much as something is worth. What (usually money or time) you are willing to trade something for. What are we placing our own value on? Is it our job? Our position in society? Or weight? nOur bank account? What others think? Or what the one who knitted me together in my mother’s womb thinks of me.

Of the Father who looked down to earth and saw his beloved children wondering in circles. Trying to reach for more and not know exactly how to get there. So He offered a ransom for us. He handed over His Son and let His precious blood soak the ground to pay for our sins. For our wrong doings. We didn’t ask. We didn’t have to.

In this He has said it all. How much are you worth? Look at the stripes of skin falling from my Son’s back. Think you aren’t good enough? You aren’t. That’s why the blood and water flowed from his side. As an offering to the parched and desolate land. Wondering why He would even still care? Because He choose YOU! You didn’t choose Him. John 15:16 “You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.”

You are valued beyond all you could ever imagine.

Take the Picture

 

Take the picture.

This clearly isn't one of my best pictures. I am wearing my glasses as I have been forced to for the past year because my eyes are not reacting well to contacts anymore. 0 makeup, hair in a bun(as usual) just not something I would want to advertise.

But do you know who that is in front of me? My mom. This picture was taken at camp and she looks gorgeous and stunning as always. Hair always done makeup always perfect always looking beautiful. And behind me is my baby girl who also not a huge fan of pictures but let me take one because Grammy was in it.

Today this picture is no big deal. I mean I appreciate it and I like it but someday this picture will be everything to me. In a couple of decades when my mom is gone and my daughter is grown I look back on this picture and smile and be thankful and remember the three of us. And it will be a beautiful memory.

Because we don't take enough everyday pictures we don't take enough pictures of ourselves and our loved ones and we never know when that last picture is going to be taken. So I stopped caring as much about the less important things like hair and makeup and start focusing on the more important things like me my mom and my daughter all smiling together at camp.

So take the picture. Hair up in a bun and all take the picture. Because someday we're going to need memories to cherish and pictures help bring those to the surface. And we're going to laugh and we're going to smile and we're going to talk about that time at camp and life was good. And I am so abundantly blessed with too many amazing people in my life. So I want to try and hold on to them forever. So...

Take the picture.