SLEEP- where are you??

So last night I didn't go to sleep until after 1. Then I woke up with Scott at 4 and didn't fall back "asleep" -if you can call it that- until almost 6. I was watching Corner Gas. WHich is fabulous by the way. Scott and I used to watch it all the time when it wasn't on at say 4 o'clock in the morning. I slept a bit until I heard Luke calling "mom, I am done." Sleeping that is.... ANd really I was up anyway. The last couple nights have been like this.

And I am a lover of sleep! Always have been. I hated sleepovers and hated to participate in "up all nighters." How silly. Why would you be up when you could be sleeping??? And when I don't sleep I get sick! Really sick. Now I normally don't sleep when Scott is on night shift, but he was on day?? What is going on here. Tomorrow starts his 7 days off and hopefully I will rest.

So today after a morning of cheeze-its everywhere and pancake syrup in the hair, I was ready for nap. I laid Luke down and he fell right asleep. In the livingroom the other two were being quiet. Rachel was laying with me and Will was playing a game. So I drifted off...only to be awaken by my phone ringing. It seems children dying of AIDS in AFRICA need my help...right now. I was so tired I couldn't understand what he was talking about. All I heard was Aids and kids. And we need you. But that was the end of my nap!

I made dinner and took the kids to Bible Club. Where they had fun but I was so tired. And then we stopped at my mom's where I was so tired. My stomach started to get the "I didn't sleep" sharp pains. So we come home and now here I am. Feeling like I can't sleep- AGAIN!!!

Scott worked some extra hours so maybe when he gets home I will relax and sleep tonight. I really hope so!

Monday Review

1. Apparently I can't even pee while the children are eating cereal OR it ends up all over the living room floor and all over the couch.

2. I am now 27 weeks pregnant. That means this is my last week in the 2nd trimester. Why does the end seem so very near and yet so very far.

3. Why do people knock on my door before 11...uuummm...12...ok 1 and expect me to be dressed and ready to answer the door???

4. Raw meat + me = bad, very bad

5. Nap time is good. Late nap, not so good.

6. Last but not least...I have been given the best news tonight by an angel. I will be teaching 2nd grade next year. NOT k-garten like I thought. I almost fell over. SO very very happy.

That is all.

Rain, rain go away!!

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass--it's about learning how to dance in the rain..." courtsey of my sweet friend Amanda

I have always loved the rain. When asked what my favorite type of weather is I would always say RAIN! When I was a kid I would sit out on the porch for hours watching it. Sometimes playing in it. But I loved to watch it. I think it has a calming effect on me. My mom said I always remind her of my grandpa (her dad) like that. She said he would sit and watch the rain for hours. Sure the sunshine is nice, but it gives me the feeling that I should be "doing" something. When it is raining you can just sit there and feel content in "what else can I be doing in the rain?" ;)

However, I have to have the "best summer ever" with my kids. And I have lists of stuff we have to do! And since I knew the next day Scott would be on day shift for 4 days, I had wanted to take the kids over to Glendale- a local lake. I figured they could play in the sand and water. We could pack dinner. Then came the reports of rain.... What to do?? We also had to wait for the guy who is going to replace some windows for us.

At 3:30 I decided to go for it. I called my mom and asked if she and my sisters wanted to come. I grabbed Luke (left the older 2 with dad- he was mowing) and we headed to Subway to pick up dinner and Giant Eagle to get stuff for the cooler. We did it all in 50 minutes. Quite impressive really!

We got home, and packed up the truck with cooler, sand toys, chairs, and other stuff. Got in and headed out. Then the sky got dark. The windshield started to have drops. "It is raining," I said to Scott. "It is stopping," he said. Then the sky got really dark. Then the rain came down really hard. Will began to sing "rain, rain go away...today and tomorrow." We pulled up and it was pouring!! We grabbed the kids and the food and ran to the pavillion. The kids were shaking and freezing. I was freeezing! The sky was black. I looked to the sky and thought "oh please." We sat down to eat. The kids were more interested in throwing rocks in the puddles. Soon it slowed up. Then the sun came out. And we could see a faint rainbow. Then it got warm again.

What a blessing! We headed down to the "beach." The kids had a great time playing in the sand and water. Luke rode trucks everywhere and played with his boat in the water. Will loved building a river and dumping water in it. He even met a couple of friends for a little bit. Rachel thought this "beach" was the greatest. Hey, if I thought I could have gotten away that easily I could have saved some money and not scheduled the beach trip at the end of July! They were very tired come the end. Finally when the sun was close to setting, we packed up and headed home. Scott said that if we had any cash on us we could get some ice cream. Whoa! I am all about making memoried but I was about to fall over and still had 3 little ones (plus me!) to get cleaned and ready for bed! So we headed for home and decided maybe our next adventure would be ice cream and putt-putt!

I could have missed this great time had a focused on how tired I was, how much needed done at home...the million of things on my to-do list. But I am glad I took this time to "dance in the rain."

But Scott is on his 4 day shifts now where he gets home around 6:30-7. By the time he eats dinner, he is wiped out. And since he waked up at 3:30 A.M. and then leaves the house at 4, I can't really blame him. So for the next couple of days we may be on our own! To the playground in the backyard!! ;)

Summer is here!

Summer time! This summer I wanted to have some fun. Or at least I wanted my kids to have a good time. It seems that we had a LONG winter. And on my list of plans was the swing set and the pool. I wanted to be able to open the door and let the kids play! Especially since I will be getting bigger and bigger from here on out!

After the swing set finally arrived (took a week and a half longer than expected which is 5 years in toddler time), Scott got busy. And single handedly put it up. Quite impressive really. When I saw the whole thing was in 2 smallish boxes, I was a little worried. When he dumped them out and I saw ALL the pieces, I was even more worried! But he did it! With a little help from my little man over there. Luke loved being involved. He put in screws and carried the drill. Of course he lost a couple pieces here and there but we won't mention that! The kids loved the finish project!

And then the swimming pool. Seeing how he was right in the middle of swing set construction, Scott was thrilled when I bugged him about the pool! But we were M-E-L-T-I-N-G! So with the pump in hand, he blew it right up. And it is a little bigger and deeper than expected. Little nervous for Luke since he likes to get out and then DIVE right back in!

The kids love it and were having a blast. Now, summer needs to crawl by. I want to enjoy the sun and my time off with the kids.

A little....

girl. I went in for my ultra-sound today and was quite nervous. The tech called me back and as I laid there I prayed. I prayed everything was ok. The heart had 4 chambers. Growth would be on track. The tech was very quiet. Which made me all the more nervous! She asked me if I wanted to know the sex. Of course, I said. She told me that no guarantees but she should be able to tell. So after an eternity she called Scott back in.

She showed us the head first. Which is down and very low. Yeah-could have told her that! She said the brain looked great- Excellent. And then she showed us the kidneys and stomach. And then she asked if we wanted to know. Yep. Right there she pointed. See that line. It's a girl. Of course she said I can't be 100 percent. A penis could be hiding! hahahaha Plus she said my due date looked to be about September 24th from the 29th!!

So she will be Isabella Noel. Her head is down, and she weighs about 2 pounds 1 oz. We love her already.

disgusting!

So my almost 2 year old son talks way more at this age than his siblings did. He is so funny. and has quite the sense of humor. I DID buy a potty chair because he was taking off his diaper and straddling our large toilet. Of course he has never gone in the toilet. And I am not pushing it. After the other 2, I am ready to let go and it will happen when it happens. I have had 2 in diapers for many months before. But he- how nicely- lets me know right after he has pooped.

So he is standing in the living room and says "mom" and grabs his butt. "I pooped." Grab the baby wipes and diaper and bring them here I tell him. I mean come on. I can't stop checking my e mail to go get such things. I am lazy, I mean pregnant! ;)

So he brings me them and lays on the floor with his legs up. See his brilliance. I say to him as I am changing his diaper, when you feel like you are going to poop, you should go in the potty. Then you can flush the poop like Rachel and say "bye, bye poop!"

He looked at me like I had 4 heads, wrinkled his nose, and said "mom, your disgusting."

running, tripping, finishing

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."- Hebrews 12:1-3

I am not a runner. My first experience of running is in middle school. We had to run a mile. I swear I thought I was going to die. Foolishly I started out in the sprint, as we all did- given NO INSTRUCTION on long(er) distance running. Many a girls puked that day. I remember getting crazy pains in my side and wanting to die. I also remember how we run everyday for softball practice. Oh how I hated it!

One thing I have learned over the years about running, is that you must begin with the end goal in mind. For example, we as 7th grade girls started to sprint. We wanted to look "good" for each other. Like this was no problem. Then half way though some of us we puking on the side of the track. Or had to quit all together. And even the ones who made it were sick and cursing gym class. BUT had we been thinking we would have realized that we have a MILE to run. We should have started slow. Watched our pace. Looked to where we would have to end up.

I have attended 2 marriage conferences with FamilyLife Ministries. This morning I was sent this scripture in my email. And of course as you know my heartbreak over Jon and Kate I have to look at my own marriage. We all start the "race" with pretty high expectations. But unless we are looking at that end goal- a lifetime of partnership- we are likely to make some mistakes.

Sometimes I sprint. I look at the here and now and what I need today. And sometimes what I "need" for today is not important to my overall goal. So if I push for what I think I deserve or need right now I could end up tripping, falling, losing sight of the end goal. On the side puking. And sometimes just taking the "f" and walking away altogether. I need to look past somethings to work toward my overall goal. Finishing the race.

And one more thing on the whole Jon and Kate fiasco. If I hear either one say one more time- my kids are most important, we do everything for our kids, kids, kids, kids. Well, 2 things. First Jon had it right when he said "I have to do what is right for me,...and my kids." He is thinking of him. Him first and foremost. And Kate- your kids are not what is most important. Your relationship with God, and then your marriage. In a "kid centered" world I understand that this is a foreign concept. And I am not saying that children are not important. WAY more important than money, our jobs, our volunteer stuff. But our marriage is #1. The marriage was there before the kids and (hopefully) it will be there after the kids. AND when kids are in a home where they know their parents are committed to each other- that is when true joy happens. Kids want to know that daddy loves mommy, and mommy loves daddy.

Does this mean that I am perfect? In no way shape or form. I am very far off the mark that I wish I was at. So very far. I just know that God has been bringing things to my attention lately. I can listen and change my "stride" to get to the end. Or I am going to end up laying on the ground gasping. Or quitting. And that may scare me more than anything else.

Monday Review

1. A child's swing set is a ridiculous thing to set up- as I have noticed from sitting on my chair with my leg elevated.

2. Sciatic nerves suck when laid upon.

3. Tacos are not the best thing to eat when 6 1/2 month pregnant. Not fun to throw up.

4. My anxiety apparently is out of control again. Not sure if it is hormones or me. Scott forgot to call when he got to work. All is ok. He made it. I almost didn't.

5. Why is it that pregancny books say stop when or even perferably before you are tired. If I don't go full speed all day then disaster will ensue.

6. Jon and Kate are on tonight- I can't watch.

That is all.

To my hero

When I first met my husband, the first thing I thought was "wow- he is going to make a great dad someday!" uummmm.... Maybe not. My husband and I became friends in junior high youth group. He was one of the only boys there and he liked to annoy us all. He was like a really big pain in the butt brother. Like when he pushed me down in a DARK cave and thought it was funny. Threw gum in my hair at a youth dance. Stuck ice cubes in my sleeping bag- OK I did that first and it was funny. Somewhere along the way-perhaps story to be told later- we fell in love and one COLD January morning he asked me to marry him. Again, no real thought of parenthood ever crossed my mind.

Now, about this time I got sick. really sick. No one knew what was wrong with me sick. My doctor told me that he thought I had endometriosis and sent me to a gynecologist. I should have had my suspicions about this guy as he had about 4 gold chains hanging off his neck. He pulled out a picture of what he said was a "healthy" uterus. And then he pulled out a picture of a "diseased" uterus. This is what your looks like he told me. BUT he never actually ran a test or LOOKED at my uterus. My mom and dad were with me. We asked what this meant. He told me I probably wouldn't have children. I went home crushed. I cried and cried in the backseat of my dad's car. My dad was upset and my mom held onto tears.

And then I thought of Scott. I thought about how he played with every kid he came across. How wonderful he was with children. I couldn't do this to him. So I went to his house and told him I would not marry him. When I explained what the dr. had told me, he laughed. He told me the dr. was wrong and even is he wasn't, he would rather have me than kids anyway. yes, yes *awe*

However, fast forward and we find that I had a UTI that was left go. The infection moved into my blood. All I needed was a hospital trip and a month's worth of anti-biotics. So we got married. But I was still so worried that perhaps that chain wearing pimp-daddy doctor was right. We wouldn't have children. We were married on May 17th and I saw two pink lines on July 8th- Scott's birthday.

I believe after he jumped out of the shower to my screaming, his first words were "oh, cool." Later he would tell me that it was just a little scary. And scary it is! When William was born on March 6th 2004, the best daddy came to be.

My children adore their dad. Adore. Ask my Luke who his best friend is and he will tell you-Daddy. Rachel's hero is her dad and William will tell you that no one can play a video game like his dad. He plays with them. loves them. He pours the drinks at dinner and changes dirty diapers. He has held them when they puke and tickled them into hysterics. He works 12 hour shifts, sometimes while they are sleeping to provide for them. He has worked 30+ overtime hours and yet turned down shifts because he promised them he would take them to chuck-e-cheese. And today, what did he spend fathers day doing? Single handed putting up their brand new swing set. Which came in so many pieces my head spun.

And so although I may not have seen it in the beginning, I sure picked a good one. Happy Daddy's day to one of the greats. My dear Scott.

ps- Today marks 100 days until my due date. Scary indeed.....

Tears

So it totally could be pregnancy hormones. But my throat closed up when I saw the preview for the new Jon and Kate. I started to cry as I begin to realize that the announcement that will bring "peace" is probably the end of their 10 year marriage.

Of course, I don't know them. And really only have glanced at the occasional episode. But the one weekend that TLC was running a marathon I watched a bit. And I saw Jon and Kate home videos. The ones before they had kids. Laughing and talking. The one where he asks her to marry her. And my heartbreaks.

Marriage is hard. So very hard. Two people with their own personalities, wants, likes, dislikes, ideas, and dreams. And we try to mesh them together into "one." Which is so hard when you KNOW that you are always RIGHT. Feelings hurt and disappointments set in. AND then comes the children. And small needy (whiny) children yet to boot! And they have their own personalities, wants, likes, dislikes, ideas, and dreams. And Jon and Kate have 8!

And there are a million reasons to quit. I can't forgive. I am not happy. I am tired. He is killing my car insurance premium (oops). But don't we owe it to our kids to remember why to stay? I can see 8 little ones who aren't going to gain a lot of "peace" if the decision is to leave.

But I read a post recently that I thought was wonderful on why we should stay. A friend was telling a story about how she had come to the end of her rope. But she had 3 children ages 4 and under and decided to try. As she was talking to her husband about trying for their kids, her husband looked at her and said no. That is not enough. This can't just be for the kids. It has to be for us. For me and you to find each other again.

To remember the little reasons why we fell in love in the first place. Why we laughed and talked and trusted them. How we couldn't wait for them to call and talk. How we looked for ways to do something nice for them. And how we looked past their faults. Because they were looking past ours.

So I will watch for the announcement. And probably be crying no matter what. GGRRR..the hormones!

Back from camp!

We had a lot of fun at camp. Will's favorite part was the pizza hut song and scooping up tadpoles. Really it was a nice time to get away and it be just me and him. He is such a great kid. Not that I am biased or anything. I have more to share on how God uses us when we feel like he def. couldn't but I am tired.

Why so tired. Well, when we got back from camp Will said that he wasn't feeling good. he was very busy at camp so I just figured he was tired. The next morning Luke had a drs. appointment. Luke has bronchitis. I knew he sounded rough! Then I made dinner and Scott came home and Will started to complain about his throat. An hour later he was screaming about his throat. When he started to throw up and have a high fever I was taking him to the ER. He fell asleep on the way there. He must have looked pretty bad because they moved us right through! His strep test came back positive! So the poor little guy is on meds and popsicles.

did you eat her?

As I was working AKA playing on the computer, Rachel came up and was staring at my belly. This is not really odd as she has expressed her concern about my growing abdomen. She has said and I quote "Mommy, you really got to tell the doctor to get that thing out of there."

So when she was staring at me I was ready for something. "Mommy?" She looked up at me. "uh-huh" "Did you eat Baby Bella?" Bella is the baby's name is she turns out to be a girl. "No sweetie. That is just where she is growing." She stares at me some more. "Are you going to burp and she is going to come out?" "No Rachel. The doctor will take her out!"

24

I am 24 weeks preg. Hard to believe. I had a drs. appointment today. Heartbeat was good and all. I have a sonogram on the 24th. Hopefully we will be able to tell if we are having a little Bella Noel or a XXXX Paul. No boy first name yet. Paul is because my dad's middle name was Paul and Scott's dad's name is Paul.

I went grocery shopping and spent way too much money. Why is it that you can buy everything on sale and still spend too much?? I just kept grabbing stuff I thought would be easy for next week. Will and I are going to Mommy and Me camp and Scott will be home with the 2 little ones- alone! We will see how that goes!

I should be sleeping. But Scott is on night shift and I have a terrible time sleeping without him. The way his shifts rotate it is only 7 days a month but I was ready last night to have him quit and look for something full time daylight. I can't take it. I guess in a couple of weeks I will have a little night partner. Until then I am reading and watching stupid late night junk on tv.

What field??

Our "trip" was very nice. But it is funny. We found ourselves alone with not much to talk about that wasn;t kids related. After we both ran out of work stories, it always came back to the kids. Which is ok. Our lives really are kid centered right now. And it was nice to talk and laugh about them (at them, haha) without them around. But by the next morning I missed them terribly!

Scott is back to night shift and so I had to take Will to his tee-ball game. When we got there we discovered that someone had messed up the schedule and we were at the wrong field. I quickly packed all the other kids up and headed to the other field. 20 min late but we made it! After the game I let the kids play but then tiredness on all parts came about. After a pretty big melt down *by the 5 year old* we headed back home. Bath and bed! But now Will is dancing and singing by me. I hate it when Scott is on night shift. *sigh*

In the beginning...

Most of you who read this are friends and family. And I decided to write as a place to keep people updates on things and the kids. I receive e mails and things asking how we are all doing and how can I tell you in a paragraph? Plus I want to use this space as a way of documenting my kids who are growing up way to fast...


And with that being said....

I am sitting at my computer with Luke asleep (ssshhhhh....) and the other two are watching The Fairly Odd Parents. My son keeps asking when he is going to get his own "fairy" parents. Yeah. Keep hoping sweetheart. I have SO much laundry to put away but I dare not to go near the steps while Luke is sleeping.

But I must get this done. For tonight something almost unheard of is happening. My mom and sisters have agreed to watch the kids overnight and I am going! Without them. When he gets home from work we are going out to eat (at my fav. place-Crackerbarrel) and then we are staying in a hotel room. No where special. Just miles from our home. BUT alone.