Sunday, August 22, 2010

choosing to be

Last night Rachel and I were laying in bed and discussing how we are all suppose to be working on "being nice" and "loving even when we don't feel like it." She was having "bad day." She threw her little hands up and said "I am trying to be kind but people just won't leave me alone. I try to go and be by myself and be kind and then people come and bug me!" Aaahhh...from the mouths of babes.

It is easy to be kind when it is just me and my coffee. Then you go adding all kind of people and things get a little hairy. But since I read this article by Janel, I can't stop thinking. ( a post of its own)! I need to get to the "heart" of the problem. And not just with my kids! With myself as well.

I understand my daughters laments. Sometimes it is so hard to be kind! If they would just leave me alone! Like when I am sick and my kids are all screaming and fighting. When my husband has forgotten to tell me to write that on the calendar. When I am forgotten by others. When my house is a mess. (you don't see the connection??)

When you come home from a very long day and you just want to get the kids fed and in bed and the neighborhood girl knocks on your door. Way past playing time. I am grumping as husband opens the door. She needs a flashlight. So Scott goes and gets her one. I grump on. (see how well my mouth challenge is going???) To be fair, I must defend myself in my head. He doesn't get it. The kids set the center piece on fire at the baby shower today! Rachel spilled a whole cup of coffee, when I didn't even get one sip, all over the table, floor, and chairs at the baby shower! I am sick-again- in my stomach. The list went on and on. Then my husband comes in and says "you know, we might be the only Jesus she ever sees." On that note, it became different.

My attitude is so important because who knows who my life is affecting. I know it affects my family. It affects my classroom. My friends and other family. Even though sometimes I might not feel like being kind, I need to choose to be kind anyway. Loving when I don't feel like loving. Even though I may have a list of good reasons not to be, like my little Rachel "They just won't stop being annoying"- her brothers.

Sometimes we don't know what list the other person is carrying. We don't know what is challenging their faith today. When we seem the most "annoying" that is when we need others kindness the most. I need to practice being kind. Loving even more when I don't feel like it.

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