burnt pancake

A long time ago, in a far away land lived a girl. A girl who loved the sunshine. A girl who loved to sit in the sunshine and read a book. Any kind of book really. She kept records of all of the books she read. She turned page after page in her notebook, filling the lines with stacks and stacks of books. Romance or mystery, fiction or non-fiction- it was all good.
That girl…was me. ;)

A while ago Scott and I were talking with a friend about what we liked to do for fun. Scott sat and named two handfuls of things off the top of his head. I sat there. Our friend asked me what I like to do for fun. Before I could part my lips, my darling husband answered for me. She doesn’t like to have fun. Although I am sure he might have gotten an elbow from me, he might be partly right. And partly wrong. It certainly isn’t that I don’t like to have fun. But I honestly couldn’t think of what I like! What a sorry thing that is. You know you have a problem when you can’t come up with a answer to that question.

I saw an interview years ago, where they were interviewing Teri Hatcher about her book- burnt toast. Interesting name for a book. It came from the fact that we, as mothers, always eat the burnt toast. If something gets burnt, we will not serve it. We eat it ourselves. Why not throw it away and start again? Not sure. But I can tell you I ate a burnt pancake on Saturday. AND when everyone was done, I ended up throwing away 2 good pancakes that didn’t get eaten.
I guess this all to say, I think we might be a tad bit hard on ourselves as mothers. And look out if you are a working mother. We have to be all things to all people. Self sacrifice, almost self torture- ok the pancake was not that bad. We feel guilty leaving the kids. We feel guilty if we pick up a book and the laundry isn’t done. We feel like a failure if we forgot milk. No wonder I can’t figure out what fun is.

I put some thought in what do I like? And I had to think back to the past. And I remembered reading. I used to love love love to read. Between wife, mommy to 4, full time teacher, housekeep and cook, I didn’t have time to pick up a book. If I did pick up the book, I have a list playing in the back of my mind about all of the things I could/should be doing.
I bought a book. A couple of books actually. I am reading them. It is my step in the direction of fun. Do I read every day? No. But I am getting better. I also remembered that I like going out to eat. Someone tell my husband…..