Raise a Hallelujah

Our little (and big) ones are watching.
As I was folding laundry Nick said "mommy we don't go to church tomorrow do we?" I said no but we can watch it. Then he said "I miss church." Then he said you know that song that says "I’m gonna sing, in the middle of the storm?" I said "yeah." He asked "can you play that while I build my legos." "You bet buddy."

Through all this, I tell my children I don't know what tomorrow brings, but I know Who holds tomorrow. What an opportunity to share our faith. Faith over fear. Praise over panic.
"I’m gonna sing, in the middle of the storm
Louder and louder, you’re gonna hear my praises roar
Up from the ashes, hope will arise
Death is defeated, the King is alive"

Raise a Hallelujah

What I have learned from the Corona Virus- Part 1

When you are having a panic attack, one of the best sets of advice is the 5 method. You should name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This is done to keep you rooted to reality and not drag you off into the world your mind is creating. This is of the utmost importance for those that are plagued by the what ifs? 

This has been my first lesson in dealing with the corona-virus. In a world full of unknowns, I must cling to the known. What do I know to be true? This is where I fall back to my faith in my unchanging God. 

Revelations 1:8 says “I am the Alpha and the Omega- the beginning and the end, says the Lord God. “I am the one who is, was always was, and who is still to come- The Almighty One.”

In no way, shape, or form was God “surprised” by this sickness. We live in a very broken world. There is no way around this. God has never, ever caused anything that would bring pain to his children. Due to the infection of sin, death is the curse of every son of Adam. BUT God has sent His Son to save us!

What do I know? I know WITHOUT a doubt that I am loved with an indescribable and unending love. When it seems like all control is lost, I know where to go to find control and reassurance. 

Everything is temporary ahe the feeling of control is a lie. Even when we think that we have it under control, we know that in reality one thing changes and we lose all we had planned. Nothing is for certain. Except for what the Word tells us is eternal. 

“Shout that people are like grass. Their beauty fades as quickly as the flowers in the field. The grass withers and the flowers fade beneath the breath of the Lord And so it is with people. The grass withers and the flowers fade but the Words of the Lord stand forever.” Isaiah 40: 6-8  

Which leads me to the second thing I am sure of. God’s word is truth. It doesn’t bend or break. It doesn't shake or shatter.  It is a solid foundation to build my life on. If God has said it, I believe it. 

When I was coming out of anesthesia after my surgery this past December, I was so sick and so scared. When I opened my eyes, everything seemed to be spinning. I closed my eyes and simply said “Jesus.” I offered no fancy, wordy prayer. No promises or conditions. I just kept repeating His name over and over. I know that in His name is power. I don’t claim to know it all, but that I can be sure of His love and comfort for me.

I know that praying and reading scripture out loud has power. So this I ask you- to read, pray, and believe out loud. In times of uncertainty, hold to that what you know is certain. That which you can say, pray, and believe!

 Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in times of trouble.

2Therefore we will not fear,

though the earth is transformed

and the mountains are toppled

into the depths of the seas,

3though their waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake in the surge.

Selah

4There is a river whose streams delight the city of God,

the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5God is within her; she will not be moved.

God will help her when morning dawns.

6Nations rage, kingdoms crumble;

the earth melts when He lifts His voice.

7The LORD of Hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Selah

8Come, see the works of the LORD,

who brings devastation upon the earth.

9He makes wars to cease throughout the earth;

He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

He burns the shieldsb in the fire.

10“Be still and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted over the earth.”

11The LORD of Hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

I Kissed Dating Good-bye Revisited

           

         

        

            I read the Josh Harris book I kissed dating goodbye….twice. I built a Sunday school lessons around it for my teenagers, but I always found a measure of unease in some parts of it. So when I put it into practice or spoke about it, I pulled back on some things and emphasized others.

            The basic idea was that as a follower of Jesus, you were to “kiss dating goodbye” and hold off on pursuing a romantic relationship until a time when you were ready for marriage. Which led to a lot of very fast courtships, faster marriages, and a painful view for those who had already “missed the mark.”

            The book has a very linear view. Which makes sense because a 21 year old had written it. While this certainly isn’t the case for all, my 21 year old view was also a set of if….then…. If you followed the magic formula, then you would have a magical unicorn marriage. If you didn’t follow it, heartbreak and surely destruction would follow. I understand that many have been hurt by the hardhearted rules theory behind it all. I certainly don’t place all the blame on Harris for this. Christian culture at the time was eating it up. Even today, many churches use this formula to live out their walk with Christ. And we miss the forest for the trees.

            Can I have a minute to tell you about my Jesus? He does not require one thing in order to convince Him to love you. Not one. The Bible says “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” NIV Romans 5:8 The Passion Translation says it this way “⁸ But Christ proved God’s passionate love for us by dying in our place while we were still lost..”

             

            My children have been plently unlovable. They have said crappy things and thrown things. Destroyed things and done exactly what I just told them not to do. Never once have I ever questioned my love for them. Jesus loves them more. And loves me more.I didn't have to come to church to earn His love. I didn’t have to repent and change to have him consider me part of His family. I didn’t have to give money, stay away from THIS sin, pray, read my bible, quit swearing, exercise three times a day, avoid dairy, wear only yellow on Tuesday…. Etc.  Even at my most unlovable, He still would have chosen to walk that hill and take that whip. He never hesitated in taking those nails and hanging from that tree. The place that my separation from God has earned me. When I miss that mark, He still looks at me and smile and says I would do it all again for you.  Let me tell you about MY Jesus. He love you. Period. No conditions. No asterisks. No if..then…

            Now, the kicker. He loves you so very much, he refuses to leave you in a situation that will bring you pain and keep your destiny from you. Like any parent, we do not give guidelines to take all the fun and joy out of living. Much to my Rachel’s surprise. We give these guidelines because we see the dangers ahead and around more clearly than our children do. We have extra experience and knowledge to see where that choice will lead. So we say no. Not out of power, but out of love. For wanting better for them. So it is with my Jesus.

            What I do believe that Harris got right was that our world has a distorted and often dangerous view of love. My favorite quote from the book was this-“The world takes us to a silver screen on which flickering images of passion and romance play, and as we watch, the world says, “This is love.” God takes us to the foot of a tree on which a naked and bloodied man hangs and says, “This is love.” The world tells us that love is what makes us feel good. Love is a feeling and when the love is gone so should the commitment. It also tells me that love, as well as truth, is not absolute and is dependent on your own personal views and ideals.

            Truth and love are not based on feelings or individual belief. Feeling can be a great manipulator. Feelings are not truth. Feelings can be the result of a bad day or a great day. Feelings can be the result of hormones or hunger. Feelings can be irrational. But marriage is where the two can intertwine so beautifully. Romantic love and committed love.

            Life is truly what you make it. While Jesus never needed me to complete his masterplan for creation, He WANTS me. We need each other in this journey. We need each other to laugh with and cry with. To grow with and praise with. To pray with and pick each other up. My family attends Cross Cut Church in Hastings which is a nondenominational church located in Hastings, PA. We are a group of imperfect people worshiping the perfect God. We would be honored for you to join us.

            When it comes down to it, we can force by fear, hammer with hurt, pressure with pain, or bully by browbeating, but only love can provide a lasting and converted change of heart. This is the gospel. That God loves you so very ,very much that he would go to hell and back to save you. Not just to save you from an eternity of hell without Him, but to save you from yourself.  Somehow I give him this broken and damaged life, and He alone can bring forth something beautiful. That truly is His biggest miracle.

Lenses to see

Pain shot through my eyes again and despite my knowledge that it was not a good idea, I rubbed my eyes hard and suddenly, the world went blurry. We were at a street fair just walking around. I called for Scott to come over and help me find my contact that was now shoved up into my eye. It popped out of my eye and was super dry, and I knew it wasn’t going back in. I took the other one out because I know vision in only one eye produces some pretty hefty headaches. 

When I looked up after having taken out my contacts the world was a muted blur of colors. I looped my arm through Scott’s because without my glasses, I see nothing but a blur. I see colors but no real shapes or depth. Obviously with my situation, we were heading home but the kids wanted ice cream. We stepped up to the ice cream truck and I got right on top of the sign squinting in vain to see any of what it offered. The kids pointed and ordered and then Scott turned to me and asked what I wanted. A little embarrassed of my predicament I quietly said, “I don’t know. I can’t see.” Scott realized then said sorry and read through the list. I ordered my soft serve vanilla cone, and the woman handed it to Scott. I could then tell he was holding it out to me, but it was even hard to see that close. I slowly held up my hand and he put the treat in my hand. I then looped my arm through his, and we headed to the van where thankfully my glasses were in my bag. 

I didn’t think much about it again until this week when I was attending a leadership class at my church when our leader, Patty Sodmont, was speaking on honoring others. She spoke on seeing people through God’s lens. She gave us the definition of lens and of being the research nerd I am I looked up more information on different lenses. Here is what I found..

“These include tilt and shift lenses for perspective control, soft-focus lenses for portrait photography, and infrared lenses for capturing light outside the normal spectrum. A specialist lens is used to produce some sort of special or creative effect, and so they have limited use in general photography.” 

I felt God’s prompting for me to connect the dots. When I put on God’s lens it is truly like going from my blind state without my contacts to vision. If I had only known a world with my own God given eyes, I would never know what I was missing. This is why “corrective lenses” are often on my list of blessings. Without my glasses, the ivy that winds up my porch would be a green, gray mushed mess. With my glasses, I can see the different greens with shades and highlights. I can follow the veins of the leaves into the intricate patterns and raindrops that reflect the spectrum of light. With my glasses I can see the true simplicity yet beauty that God created. 

Then I went to prayer. God began to bring to my heart a broken people Not just broken, but people are ostracized and condemned by men. For whatever reason, people that others feel it is their right almost their duty to tear down. Though sometimes through choices of their own, these are the people that we see as unworthy. We don’t say that (at least most of us don’t). We do make it a point to see around them.  To see through them. Hardly ever to see them. I mean really see through God’s lens. Not to just see what is happening today, but seeing the why. Not seeing people for a way they can fit into my agenda, but seeing their intrinsic value created in the image of Christ Jesus. But putting on the lens of Christ and seeing past the filth of the world that Jesus looks past with me everyday. 

How quick we are to demean people over their own choice of mud. I teach a unit on soil here in second grade, and any 7 year old can tell you that you can call it “humus,” “clay,” or “sand,” but at the end of the day it is all dirt that Mrs. Demi makes you scrub off your hands before the bell rings. We may all find the dirt in different ways, but thank you Jesus for the blood that God sees us differently. 

I don’t know about you, but my five children have been muddy. Photographic evidence below! I know what is hidden beneath. Muddy or clean I look at them through the lens of a mother. I need to start looking at everyone through the lens of my Father. When I put on his lens, everyone comes into focus. No longer am I seeing blurs but all the intricate details. It changes my perspective and helps me see outside the ordinary. I see deeper and truer. That is my prayer.

Miracle in the Mountain

I took my elementary size finger and followed the wood grains in the pew. I would trace and jump from one set of lines to the other. Sometimes I would try to make pictures out of the different lines and swirls. As I traced over a particular steep slope, the priest came to a scripture in the homily (gospel reading) that gave me pause.

Matthew 17:20 English Standard Version (ESV)

20 He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”[a

In my child’s mind, I pictured Jesus saying to the mountain move, and in a cartoon like fashion, with a face on the mountain at all, the mountain jumps up and moves over a couple feet. I chuckled out loud. Mom gave me a look, and I stared to silently trace the pattern again.

 Last summer at a prayer meeting, I felt this verse rise up in a prayer. No longer did I see the big cartoon. This time I saw the REAL mountains.  Death. Cancer. Depression. Addiction. Abuse. More fearsome than any storm the mountain weather could throw at you. As I began to pray on this verse, I saw it in such a new light. If we have faith God can move our mountain, He does. Not always in the way we expect or on the choices we so carefully outline for Him, but move it He will.

He moves MOUNTAINS. He moves the things that seemed rooted to the foundation of the earth. He parts the oceans with a breath. To us that is the real miracle- making supernatural things happen in this natural world. But that doesn’t come close to the miracle of a family reunited after the pain of drug addiction. To the miracle of a healing treatment for the cancer that seemed unstoppable. For the gift of forgiveness offered in a situation where the very thought seemed impossible at the time. A hand offered, a heart softened, a soul redeemed. There is the miracle in the mountain.

Toliets and Tootsie rolls

God spoke to me yesterday while I was cleaning the toilet.

"Let me explain...no it is too much, Let me sum up."*** Bonus points for naming that movie.

There is a thing with me and God with tootsie rolls. I just found this clip from my journal about a year ago....
"So....Rachel had tootsie roll lollops the other day. I remembered that I used to love those and had not had them in such a long time. On Friday I asked Scott to stop in at the dollar store and get me some. He came back and handed a bag of lollipops...with gum in the middle. Not tootsie rolls. :(

I was so disappointed. Scott said he had search for the tootsie roll ones but couldn't find any. That Sunday my Pastor did a message about God seeing us. Knowing the intimate details of our life. Showing up in places we didn't picture Him. After church when I was gathering up my stuff, I was thinking how awesome it would be for God to really see you and call you. My mom walked up to me and simply handed me 3 tootsie rolls. I had today her nothing of this story. She said she had them and wanted to know if I wanted them. I laughed out loud because I know my God has a sense of humor."

Back to my bathroom. Yesterday I was cleaning  and as moms of boys know, this is no quick wipe and go job. It is a full out mission. Scrub and scrub some more. So I was on scrub number two and I was listening to praise music. Because doesn't everyone listen to praise music while scrubbing urine off the floor. The song that was playing was "Give me Faith" by Elevation Worship.

As I have been feeling overwhelmed lately, worship helps center me. How great to realize the sun doesn't rise and set on me and my victories or failures? That the sun will rise tomorrow (probably) even when the night seems darkest. So here are the lyrics to this song I was singing along with

I need you to soften my heart
And break me apart
I need you to open my eyes
To see that You're shaping my life

All I am, I surrender

Give me faith to trust what you say
That you're good and your love is great
I'm broken inside, I give you my life

I need you to soften my heart
And break me apart
I need you to pierce through the dark
And cleanse every part of me

All I am, I surrender

Give me faith to trust what you say
That you're good and your love is great
I'm broken inside, I give you my life

'Cause I may be weak
But Your spirit strong in me
My flesh may fail
My God you never will 

And then I swear (as true as I want to get to heaven as my mom would say) I found this in my bathroom. 

I don't remember the last time I had a tootsie roll. Or my kids either for that matter. Although is has been too long since I scrubbed down the bathroom (including walls), it hasn't been that long. Where did the wrapper come from? Sometimes I believe God sends us these little reminders that He is there. I do not have a God who is in some far off place who has set the world in motion and then said good luck. I serve a God who knows my heart. Who walks with me in sure times and doubt. Who rejoices with me in good times and cries in bad. This little symbol reached out to me and reminded me that "I may be weak, but Your Spirit is strong in me. My flesh my fail, My God You never will." Through it all, He is shaping me and my life into what it should be day by day and lesson by lesson. I teared up a little when I saw the wrapped and smiled. Closed my fist around it and squeezed. 

Get up and fight

As He went along , he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples ask him, "Rabbi who sinned? This man or his parents that he was born blind?" "Neither this man or his parents sinned, said Jesus " but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."...Having said this he spit on the ground and made some mud with saliva , and put it on the man's eyes. "Go," he told him wash in the pool of Siloam (Sent)So the man went and washed and came back seeing."

John 9:1-3,6-7

Then news travels fast. People knew this man was born in affliction and something or someone reached into that hell and pulled him out. They saw real change and needed to know where he found it. Everyone wants the magic elixir to take away all their woes and fix it all. I am not alchemist, but you can look to all the ends of the earth and there is no such potion.

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't no sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it." Rocky Balboa

A question a lot of people often ask in a tragedy is "If God is so wonderful, why did He allow this to happen?"  Before I share my findings, I don't want to minimize the pain people who are in a tragic situation are feeling. It hurts and is unfair. I assure you that the destruction that takes place in this world breaks His heart as well. BUT, the Bible very clearly says that this is not our home. We don't belong here and to that I say "AMEN!" Also, God loves us so much that He will never force anything on anyone. Good or bad, even if it breaks His heart, he allows us to make our own choices. Even, if it quite literally kills Him.

Because we live in a broken and fallen world, bad things happen. Some based on our own choices and some because of others choices. Sometimes it is no ones choice and unavoidable. Pain, disappointment, and scars will come. What can we do with it? How can I use this pain and turn it into good. How can I take this particular situation and bring glory to the God of the universe that gives me the strength to not only stand, but stand firm. To not only walk, but fly with the wings of eagles.

When the darkness comes, you have three options. You can run. This never ends well because darkness can move faster than you. You can laid down and give up. Another idea that never really produces the results you want. Or you can fight. The only catch is that I am not strong enough to fight. Heck, I can’t even stand well on my own with a strong breeze coming my way. But I found the answer!

1 John 4:4 New Living Translation (NLT)

⁴ But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.

I will not be swallowed by darkness. I believe that it is darkest right before the morning comes. These aren’t just pretty words and feel good emotions. This is truth. How do I apply this truth.

1. Believe it. Tell yourself. Remind yourself daily, hourly, minute by minute if you have to that you are deeply loved by the creator. God loved you so much that he would go to hell for you than be in heaven without you. He took the wrath of darkness on Himself so you didn’t have to. He stood between you and death and would not let it take you. He had fire in His eyes, but an endless love in His spirit. Say it out loud. I am loved.

2. Throw out that trash the enemy is telling you. You are worthless or not loved? I don’t think so. Jesus went to the cross for me. Things will never change? I have the Resurrecting power of Christ in me. When those negative thought come, do not give them soil to grow in. You kick that trash to the desert.

3. You walk in that TRUTH. I believe in God’s grace and mercy, and I will not be a prisoner to my past mistakes. I believe God has a plan for my life and I will take one step and make one decision at a time and I will walk forward.

The best miracles are birthed through pain. The best endings are victories while fighting the most vicious foe. God says your story isn’t over and He will not let you be snatched from His hand. Dig deep. Go to the quietest corner of your world and tell Jesus that you are going to walk it out with Him. Hold out your hand and say let’s do this. Because I have places to be and the world to change. God, only through you can I walk through flames of defeat and the smoke of failure. Take my hand and let’s walk. May people see the power of Christ in me through the pain and situations of this world. God, help me to walk through the darkness and bring light to those who need it.