Then I followed....at a distance- Peter

“Hey Peter!” my brother called across the room. “Tell everyone why we call you the Rock!” “I would think that is obvious,” I replied flexing my arm. “My rock hard biceps of course!” “All this time I thought it was your rock hard head!” Andrew exclaimed to a chorus of uproarious laughter. I chuckled myself. “Laugh now, but which of you had the courage to follow the master out and walk on water?” “And screaming for help before all was said and done!” Another brother laughed and clapped me on the back. “Indeed, but at least I got out of the boat!”

As we reclined at the table, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the master stand. Not liking the idea of Him traveling alone on a night like tonight, I stood to join him. Quickly the laughter had gone silent as Jesus wrapped a common towel around his waist, filled a bowl with water, and knelt down to begin washing feet. I never remember a time prior to this where I had been knocked speechless. The sight was as perplexing as watching a fish dance or the sun bow to the moon. My Master on His knees doing the work of a slave.

I watched him take each foot in his hand. Dusty grime from miles of travel wiped away with the touch of his hand. He then took the towel and dried each foot as if He held a precious treasure. After each disciple, He looked them in the eye and gently nodded his head. Each looked disoriented as I felt with wide eyes and open mouths, but they nodded back.

He came and stood before me. I noticed the weary lines drawn across His face, his sunken cheeks, and his eyes looked tired and dull. “Lord,” I whispered, “Are you going to wash my feet?” His head turned and His eyes softened. “You do not realize what I am doing, but later you will understand.” “No,” I choked out and stammered. “You shall never wash my feet!”  “Unless I wash you, you will have no part with me.” “Then Lord,” I replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!” He always had this way of looking into me. He saw more than I wanted Him too. To most I was strong, confident, and headstrong. Only He knew the truth. That I never felt as if I were enough.

Again a holy hush fell over the table. It was as if heaven itself had paused and waited to see how this drama would proceed. My Lord took a loaf of bread, and held it in His hands. The same hands that minutes before had griped our filthy earth caked feet. How could one single set of Hands hold so much? I have watched as they held children, grieving widows, broken men. Now, He held the bread and said, “Take; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and after giving thanks He gave it to us, and we all drank from it. He said  then, “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many. Truly I tell you, I will never again drink of the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God.” Then Jesus said to them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of Me. For it is written:

‘I will strike the shepherd,

and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’

But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.” 

My mind seemed a garbled mess. His blood poured out for all? A new covenant? I didn’t understand. His body would be broken for us? No! We could fight! I would fight with my last breath and consider it a victory if only Jesus lived. I began to shake with fear, but fear quickly altered to anger. My fist pounded on the table and a crack shot through the room. Pain lanced through my hand where a large splinter had broken off into it,  but I paid it no attention. “Even if all fall away on account of You, I never will.”

When He turned to look at me, it was if the whole world fell away. .“Truly I tell you,” Jesus declared, “this very night before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” The words echoed in the room. They bounced off the cup and the uneaten bread. The sunk into my skin and left a smell like death in my nose. It pierced me deeper than the wood that dug into my hands and dripped blood onto my leftover bread. “Even if I have to die with You, I will never deny You.” Even as I said it, I felt a shadow cross over me. Only for a moment, but the lingering doubt crushed the air from my lungs.

 As we walked with Him to Gethsemane, I felt the darkness following. My legs wanted to run and my mind screamed to hide, but the Master walked steady. So I followed. He told us to wait and pray while He went deeper into the garden. I must have fallen asleep though the nightmares that accompanied it gave me no rest. I was at the top of a pit. Confused and panicked as to where Jesus had gone, I swung around and almost lost my balance and fell. As I looked down to steady myself, I saw Him in the bottom of the pit. On His knees, jaw clenched, crying out. I couldn’t make out His words.  But I felt the agony. I leaned forward to scream that I was here. I would come. With a roar of darkness, something cold and hard pushed me. I fell.

I awoke with a start. Jesus standing over me. Could I not stay away and keep watch for even an hour. As He went away again, this time deeper into the garden, it took all the willpower I possessed to not go running after him. Soon I drifted into the dreaded place again. This time I was at the bottom of the pit. Mere feet away from me, Jesus again was on His knees. His hands drug against the ground and the rocks. He barley noticed the blood dripping down his hands as they dug into his hands. Then I saw it. Standing over him was a blackness. Like a cloud only more solid. Like an oil that left a putrid stain of sin. But when I tried to look upon it, everything tilted. I heard screaming and moaning. Suddenly cries of help and terror surrounded me. I tried to jump up and reach for my sword. But my hands were plastered to my side. The darkness was coming for Him. “No!” I screamed. I screamed and screamed until I could taste blood and ash in my mouth. He looked up and when our eyes met, I was jerked awake again.

Groggy from the nightmare and confused by the ache still in my throat, I stood up as Jesus said, “They are here.” I saw darkness and torches. Then I saw Judas and relaxed. Surely there was a reason this crowd had come to get us. Then I looked closer at Judas. Something seemed to almost crawl under his skin. His eyes were black bottomless, but when he blinked they seemed normal again. He walked forward and placed a kiss on the Master's face. Then I knew.

It was him. He would betray Him. The very one who we had all declared the Christ! The Son of the living God! A guard grabbed hold of Jesus’s arm and a red hot fury I have never known burned through me. I grabbed my sword and sliced off his ear. Had I not been so exhausted and overwhelmed, the soldier would now be in two pieces for his comrades to carry home. Jesus looked at me. “No,” was all He said. “This is how it is to be.” I stood frozen to the spot as they drug Him away as I stood in a pile of the soldier’s and my own blood and vomit.  Then I followed at some distance behind to see where they were leading Him. Although in my spirit, it was as if He was still leading them. Though the darkness hadn't discovered this yet. I knew nothing the world has ever seen or would ever see again was coming. 

It is over- JUDAS

This was it. The final time I would be made a fool of. Letting a woman, an unclean, lower, inferior woman not just touch you but dump an obscene amount of nard comparable to liquid gold on Jesus and the dust covered ground which he laid.. Makes me sick. I could feel the shaking start from the pit of my stomach.My one arm began to twitch. The pain deep into my head felt like claws dragging against my skull. Whenever I would revisit the idea about what should be done, I never felt alone. At first it was comforting in a weird way. It wasn't a person but more like a pulse. An awareness. Of course no one else had this gift because that were too busy picking up leftover bread and healing people who don't even deserve a second look. We can help just as many rich ones as the poor ones. And the riches ones we could collect a fee from. Then we would be getting somewhere.

Jesus galloping through city after city while throwing out the Roman occupation. That is what strength looks like. Power and control. I feel the darkness on my left side. I don't dare look. "It's time," the voice said to me. I wish I could place the voice or rather sound. It's almost like no language at all. No one else hears this. Jesus looks at me a few times with a tensed jaw and wet eyes. He knows.

I went to find the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard. Again, darkness clouded my vision. I blinked. Once. Twice. An officer walked up to me with a glint in his eye that promised violence. My mouth curled in a sneer. "You are looking to condemn the teacher Jesus. I am here to discuss terms." The quiet discussions in front of us stopped. "You are one of His?" an old gnarled hand pointed. "I am no ones. I belong to myself. I decide my own fate." A dark chuckle echoed behind me. "What do you want for your services." "I want only what is owed to me," I whispered into the inky black.

Thirty pieces of silver. The price for a slave. Not nearly enough for all of my wasted time. My wasted life. But I wanted this to be over. I needed it to be over. Maybe once this was finished I could sleep again. Nightmares would no longer flood my mind and seep into my soul.

The last meal we had together I kept my hands low to hide the shaking. I spoke to no one. No one noticed. Almost no one. He noticed. There was something in His eyes when He looked at me. An overwhelming sadness. No judgement or guilt. no questions or accusations. Just sorrow. Then it was over. I knew where they would go. I would end this tonight.

The garden was black. Something was wrong. This darkness was not an earthly darkness. The shadows moved of their own accord. It crept like a creature along the ground and slithered along the path. Something inside me screamed to stop. But I couldn't. I wouldn't. This was my choice. My destiny.

I saw Him. Although He didn't look my way, I knew He was aware the moment we had arrived. Almost like He was waiting. The darkness would not approach Him. It circled and pulsed. As He walked forward, it would skulk backwards. It winded backwards to me. It twisted up my legs and settled into my stomach. Through my chest and pain seared in my head. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. I kept walking.

I told myself He deserved this. He misled me and thousands of loyal followers. By not saving us by the sword, He condemns us to slavery and death. No! He deserves death. This nonsense of grace and mercy. Why be part of a mission that was doomed to failure. That's exactly what all of this will come to. That's exactly what His death will be. His ultimate failure.

"Greetings Rabbi," as I sealed our fate with a kiss to the side of His face. I quickly backed up and tried to gasp. There was no air, and I was choking. Darkness was here. Shrieking, clanging of swords, and unearthly roars of victory. Pain seared through my head and dropped me to my knees. Finally, as they led him away I gasped. At first, the world was silent. Then it was empty. A deep pit that not even the darkness would fill. I had betrayed Him. No. This is wrong. I was wrong! He is good! He is our only hope! What if He was who He said He was?

I ran into the temple shadows until I found them. "I have sinned. I have betrayed and innocent man!" Soft steps approached me. At first I thought I saw mercy. Then I looked deep into the eyes that seemed to hold no soul. Like looking into a mirror of emptiness. "That is your problem." I took the coin bag and threw it across the temple floor. The sound shattered the stillness. Clang, clang, clang. I watched the final coin spin impossibly long, as if it hovered while waiting. Then it fell. It was over. Nothing could save me now. I had turned my back on my salvation. I had chose this path, and I would finish it. I would not ask for lenience. I would not ask for forgiveness. I deserved my fate. I walked out of the temple. The darkness covered me. It was over.

maybe I was wrong- Mary

I hung back. The crowds were screaming. Feet stomping dirt up into the air.  The people had picked up palm branches and were waving them. "Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the King of Israel!" In one giant wave, the crowd flowed on while I hung back. I bent over and picked up one of the branches they had laid in His path. Crushed and trampled. Broken and Bruised. I drug the plam down the inside of my hand and a thin river of blood mixed with my blood and sweat. Maybe I was wrong? Maybe I had misunderstood?

I hid in shadows and in the crowds. I listened to what the people were saying. One man shouted, "Did you hear? This is Jesus! The man who raised Lazarus from the dead!" A second man exclaimed, "Here He comes into the Holy city! He will do it, this one! He will deliver us from our oppression of the Romans!" The first man wiped at his sweaty brow. The excitement radiating out of his face.  "Indeed! Surely a man who does wonders such as himself will find the role of King quite fitting!" They laughed . Their hope opened up from all to see.

As they walked away, I realized I was holding my breath. I thought back to one of the first times I sat at Jesus's feet. I knew I shouldn't. It wasn't proper. It wasn't where I was suppose to be. But...but there was something about His voice. When He spoke it felt like a breeze on a hot summer day or a rain after the drought. Everything He said I stored away. Had He ever mentioned overthrowing the rulers? Of taking the place of King of our people to lead us out from Rome? No. He had not. I was sure of it.

I pushed closer to the chaos. Another man, this one young and strong, grabbed hold of the older man in front of him. "Did you hear? This Jesus rose a man from the dead!" The older man shook his hand from him and he scoffed. "If I were you I wouldn't put a lot of faith into such fairytales."

But Mary knew. The pain sliced through her chest as she remembered.She remembered.  Nothing in her life had cut her as deep as her brother's death.

As he struggled to breath I begged him, "Just hang on brother! He is coming! He will save you!" I knew it! I believed it more than I had ever believed in anything before. Then Lazarus stopped breathing. It was like the world suddenly went dark. I couldn't see or breathe. I collapsed. I remember waking up in my bed and staring at the ceiling. He hadn't come, and Lazarus was dead.

I was sitting at the table staring at the very place I had sat at the teacher's feet. How could I have been so wrong? All of the sudden people were yelling that Jesus was here. Martha took off in a run. I couldn't bring myself to stand. He was too late.

The master has asked for you Martha had said. At those words, my soul shattered. I stood up and ran .When I saw Him, my knees gave out and I fell at His feet. The place where at one time I had found hope and peace. "Master, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died!" I felt something on my head. I reached up, and it felt wet. I looked into the face of Jesus as tears rolled down His face. He did love my brother! Why had He not come?

After that it was almost as if we were walking in a dream. We went to the tomb. Jesus told us to move the stone while ignoring the scoffing followers. And when Jesus called "Lazarus come out!" A rumbling began from the depth of the earth. A vibration was semt up into my body where my teeth because to chatter. Then all was quiet. Silent Then my brother walked out! Never would I doubt His faithfulness, compassion, and love.

Someone pushed into me. I fell into the dust. The cloud chocked me, and there were feet all around. Afraid I might be trampled, I quickly rose to catch a last glimpse of Jesus before the crowd swallowed him.

The last time I had been with Jesus, I knew something was coming for Him. I didn't know how to put what I felt into words. An end of sorts was coming. I had to do something before it came to tell Him how much I loved Him! How could I show him before it was too late. The urgency pounded in my head as my hands shook. Then I remembered the nard I had been saving. For what I never knew, but I  had a feeing it would change everything. Tripping over my own feet I ran to grab it, as I walked towards Him, I admit I began to doubt. Something dark whispered in my ear. Softly at first. "You will make a fool of yourself! They will throw you out of His presence! Why waste such a gift?" But I pushed through. I kept walking. I broken open the jar and pour out my heart to Him. Where words seemed finite and not enough, I hoped that this offering might speak what my heart was crying.

Then the darkness took on a voice I knew well. Judas. "What a waste!" I looked over at him and blinked. For a moment...I could have sworn I saw.... Darkness and shadows. Wrapping around his body. When he spoke again, my blood ran cold. "Why not sell this and give the profit to the poor?"

Then Jesus spoke. The minute He spoke the darkness fled. I swear I thought I heard...maybe...a shriek? "Let her alone. She is anticipating and honoring the day of my burial. You will always have the poor with you. You don't always have me."

Then I knew. The words..... burial....you won't always have me. I knew.

As the crowd thinned as they followed the man they thought would soon be king, I caught a smell that made my heart leap and then drop at the same time. The perfume. The scent still lingered when I poured out my offering. When I wiped his feet with my hair. Anointing Him for burial.  He was finishing what He had started. An end not a beginning. I knelt down in the dirt and dust and watched as my tears gathered in a puddle beneath.

A king? A conqueror of Rome. How could I have been so wrong? Perhaps I was? He would be King! Hope bloomed in my chest. But something wasn't right although the word King rang true. I looked to the sky. Passover would begin soon. There was much to do. This was the time to thank God above for delivering us from the Egyptians. By the blood of the lamb, we were saved as the angel of death would not touch us if the blood covered us. A flash of red flew through my mind. The smell of blood. Something was coming. Something that would change the world forever. I thought I knew what was happening. Now I am not so sure. But one thing I do know. This man holds the keys to death. I had seen the darkness flee from his presence. I had seen it power gone with the opening of his mouth. I didn't know what was happening, but I did know whatever it was and for whatever reason, Jesus was allowing it. He walked straight , calm, because He knew.

Raise a Hallelujah

Our little (and big) ones are watching.
As I was folding laundry Nick said "mommy we don't go to church tomorrow do we?" I said no but we can watch it. Then he said "I miss church." Then he said you know that song that says "I’m gonna sing, in the middle of the storm?" I said "yeah." He asked "can you play that while I build my legos." "You bet buddy."

Through all this, I tell my children I don't know what tomorrow brings, but I know Who holds tomorrow. What an opportunity to share our faith. Faith over fear. Praise over panic.
"I’m gonna sing, in the middle of the storm
Louder and louder, you’re gonna hear my praises roar
Up from the ashes, hope will arise
Death is defeated, the King is alive"

Raise a Hallelujah

What I have learned from the Corona Virus- Part 1

When you are having a panic attack, one of the best sets of advice is the 5 method. You should name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This is done to keep you rooted to reality and not drag you off into the world your mind is creating. This is of the utmost importance for those that are plagued by the what ifs? 

This has been my first lesson in dealing with the corona-virus. In a world full of unknowns, I must cling to the known. What do I know to be true? This is where I fall back to my faith in my unchanging God. 

Revelations 1:8 says “I am the Alpha and the Omega- the beginning and the end, says the Lord God. “I am the one who is, was always was, and who is still to come- The Almighty One.”

In no way, shape, or form was God “surprised” by this sickness. We live in a very broken world. There is no way around this. God has never, ever caused anything that would bring pain to his children. Due to the infection of sin, death is the curse of every son of Adam. BUT God has sent His Son to save us!

What do I know? I know WITHOUT a doubt that I am loved with an indescribable and unending love. When it seems like all control is lost, I know where to go to find control and reassurance. 

Everything is temporary ahe the feeling of control is a lie. Even when we think that we have it under control, we know that in reality one thing changes and we lose all we had planned. Nothing is for certain. Except for what the Word tells us is eternal. 

“Shout that people are like grass. Their beauty fades as quickly as the flowers in the field. The grass withers and the flowers fade beneath the breath of the Lord And so it is with people. The grass withers and the flowers fade but the Words of the Lord stand forever.” Isaiah 40: 6-8  

Which leads me to the second thing I am sure of. God’s word is truth. It doesn’t bend or break. It doesn't shake or shatter.  It is a solid foundation to build my life on. If God has said it, I believe it. 

When I was coming out of anesthesia after my surgery this past December, I was so sick and so scared. When I opened my eyes, everything seemed to be spinning. I closed my eyes and simply said “Jesus.” I offered no fancy, wordy prayer. No promises or conditions. I just kept repeating His name over and over. I know that in His name is power. I don’t claim to know it all, but that I can be sure of His love and comfort for me.

I know that praying and reading scripture out loud has power. So this I ask you- to read, pray, and believe out loud. In times of uncertainty, hold to that what you know is certain. That which you can say, pray, and believe!

 Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in times of trouble.

2Therefore we will not fear,

though the earth is transformed

and the mountains are toppled

into the depths of the seas,

3though their waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake in the surge.

Selah

4There is a river whose streams delight the city of God,

the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5God is within her; she will not be moved.

God will help her when morning dawns.

6Nations rage, kingdoms crumble;

the earth melts when He lifts His voice.

7The LORD of Hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Selah

8Come, see the works of the LORD,

who brings devastation upon the earth.

9He makes wars to cease throughout the earth;

He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

He burns the shieldsb in the fire.

10“Be still and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted over the earth.”

11The LORD of Hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

I Kissed Dating Good-bye Revisited

           

         

        

            I read the Josh Harris book I kissed dating goodbye….twice. I built a Sunday school lessons around it for my teenagers, but I always found a measure of unease in some parts of it. So when I put it into practice or spoke about it, I pulled back on some things and emphasized others.

            The basic idea was that as a follower of Jesus, you were to “kiss dating goodbye” and hold off on pursuing a romantic relationship until a time when you were ready for marriage. Which led to a lot of very fast courtships, faster marriages, and a painful view for those who had already “missed the mark.”

            The book has a very linear view. Which makes sense because a 21 year old had written it. While this certainly isn’t the case for all, my 21 year old view was also a set of if….then…. If you followed the magic formula, then you would have a magical unicorn marriage. If you didn’t follow it, heartbreak and surely destruction would follow. I understand that many have been hurt by the hardhearted rules theory behind it all. I certainly don’t place all the blame on Harris for this. Christian culture at the time was eating it up. Even today, many churches use this formula to live out their walk with Christ. And we miss the forest for the trees.

            Can I have a minute to tell you about my Jesus? He does not require one thing in order to convince Him to love you. Not one. The Bible says “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” NIV Romans 5:8 The Passion Translation says it this way “⁸ But Christ proved God’s passionate love for us by dying in our place while we were still lost..”

             

            My children have been plently unlovable. They have said crappy things and thrown things. Destroyed things and done exactly what I just told them not to do. Never once have I ever questioned my love for them. Jesus loves them more. And loves me more.I didn't have to come to church to earn His love. I didn’t have to repent and change to have him consider me part of His family. I didn’t have to give money, stay away from THIS sin, pray, read my bible, quit swearing, exercise three times a day, avoid dairy, wear only yellow on Tuesday…. Etc.  Even at my most unlovable, He still would have chosen to walk that hill and take that whip. He never hesitated in taking those nails and hanging from that tree. The place that my separation from God has earned me. When I miss that mark, He still looks at me and smile and says I would do it all again for you.  Let me tell you about MY Jesus. He love you. Period. No conditions. No asterisks. No if..then…

            Now, the kicker. He loves you so very much, he refuses to leave you in a situation that will bring you pain and keep your destiny from you. Like any parent, we do not give guidelines to take all the fun and joy out of living. Much to my Rachel’s surprise. We give these guidelines because we see the dangers ahead and around more clearly than our children do. We have extra experience and knowledge to see where that choice will lead. So we say no. Not out of power, but out of love. For wanting better for them. So it is with my Jesus.

            What I do believe that Harris got right was that our world has a distorted and often dangerous view of love. My favorite quote from the book was this-“The world takes us to a silver screen on which flickering images of passion and romance play, and as we watch, the world says, “This is love.” God takes us to the foot of a tree on which a naked and bloodied man hangs and says, “This is love.” The world tells us that love is what makes us feel good. Love is a feeling and when the love is gone so should the commitment. It also tells me that love, as well as truth, is not absolute and is dependent on your own personal views and ideals.

            Truth and love are not based on feelings or individual belief. Feeling can be a great manipulator. Feelings are not truth. Feelings can be the result of a bad day or a great day. Feelings can be the result of hormones or hunger. Feelings can be irrational. But marriage is where the two can intertwine so beautifully. Romantic love and committed love.

            Life is truly what you make it. While Jesus never needed me to complete his masterplan for creation, He WANTS me. We need each other in this journey. We need each other to laugh with and cry with. To grow with and praise with. To pray with and pick each other up. My family attends Cross Cut Church in Hastings which is a nondenominational church located in Hastings, PA. We are a group of imperfect people worshiping the perfect God. We would be honored for you to join us.

            When it comes down to it, we can force by fear, hammer with hurt, pressure with pain, or bully by browbeating, but only love can provide a lasting and converted change of heart. This is the gospel. That God loves you so very ,very much that he would go to hell and back to save you. Not just to save you from an eternity of hell without Him, but to save you from yourself.  Somehow I give him this broken and damaged life, and He alone can bring forth something beautiful. That truly is His biggest miracle.

Lenses to see

Pain shot through my eyes again and despite my knowledge that it was not a good idea, I rubbed my eyes hard and suddenly, the world went blurry. We were at a street fair just walking around. I called for Scott to come over and help me find my contact that was now shoved up into my eye. It popped out of my eye and was super dry, and I knew it wasn’t going back in. I took the other one out because I know vision in only one eye produces some pretty hefty headaches. 

When I looked up after having taken out my contacts the world was a muted blur of colors. I looped my arm through Scott’s because without my glasses, I see nothing but a blur. I see colors but no real shapes or depth. Obviously with my situation, we were heading home but the kids wanted ice cream. We stepped up to the ice cream truck and I got right on top of the sign squinting in vain to see any of what it offered. The kids pointed and ordered and then Scott turned to me and asked what I wanted. A little embarrassed of my predicament I quietly said, “I don’t know. I can’t see.” Scott realized then said sorry and read through the list. I ordered my soft serve vanilla cone, and the woman handed it to Scott. I could then tell he was holding it out to me, but it was even hard to see that close. I slowly held up my hand and he put the treat in my hand. I then looped my arm through his, and we headed to the van where thankfully my glasses were in my bag. 

I didn’t think much about it again until this week when I was attending a leadership class at my church when our leader, Patty Sodmont, was speaking on honoring others. She spoke on seeing people through God’s lens. She gave us the definition of lens and of being the research nerd I am I looked up more information on different lenses. Here is what I found..

“These include tilt and shift lenses for perspective control, soft-focus lenses for portrait photography, and infrared lenses for capturing light outside the normal spectrum. A specialist lens is used to produce some sort of special or creative effect, and so they have limited use in general photography.” 

I felt God’s prompting for me to connect the dots. When I put on God’s lens it is truly like going from my blind state without my contacts to vision. If I had only known a world with my own God given eyes, I would never know what I was missing. This is why “corrective lenses” are often on my list of blessings. Without my glasses, the ivy that winds up my porch would be a green, gray mushed mess. With my glasses, I can see the different greens with shades and highlights. I can follow the veins of the leaves into the intricate patterns and raindrops that reflect the spectrum of light. With my glasses I can see the true simplicity yet beauty that God created. 

Then I went to prayer. God began to bring to my heart a broken people Not just broken, but people are ostracized and condemned by men. For whatever reason, people that others feel it is their right almost their duty to tear down. Though sometimes through choices of their own, these are the people that we see as unworthy. We don’t say that (at least most of us don’t). We do make it a point to see around them.  To see through them. Hardly ever to see them. I mean really see through God’s lens. Not to just see what is happening today, but seeing the why. Not seeing people for a way they can fit into my agenda, but seeing their intrinsic value created in the image of Christ Jesus. But putting on the lens of Christ and seeing past the filth of the world that Jesus looks past with me everyday. 

How quick we are to demean people over their own choice of mud. I teach a unit on soil here in second grade, and any 7 year old can tell you that you can call it “humus,” “clay,” or “sand,” but at the end of the day it is all dirt that Mrs. Demi makes you scrub off your hands before the bell rings. We may all find the dirt in different ways, but thank you Jesus for the blood that God sees us differently. 

I don’t know about you, but my five children have been muddy. Photographic evidence below! I know what is hidden beneath. Muddy or clean I look at them through the lens of a mother. I need to start looking at everyone through the lens of my Father. When I put on his lens, everyone comes into focus. No longer am I seeing blurs but all the intricate details. It changes my perspective and helps me see outside the ordinary. I see deeper and truer. That is my prayer.