The Storm is Coming

 

Your storm is coming.

 

I started to write “I don’t say that to scare you or start any form of panic…” but maybe I do. Not the fear without the knowledge of Christ or a day to day anxiety, but the kind of fear that knocks you off your butt and gets you to start thinking.  The Bible says in Matthew 5:45b  “He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” 

The storm is coming.

 

I can’t say this enough, and I believe many of you have asked yourself this same question “is this life all there is?” The answer is absolutely not.

 

Psalms 39:4-7 NLT “Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.”

 

This world is not our home if you are a child of God. Although God is Sovereign and creator of everything your eyes lie on, He has given satan a season in this world. Jesus himself calls Satan the 'ruler of this world' in John 16:11. But someday-soon- He will be back to claim what has always been His. 

 

Back to the storm. We give ourselves way too much credit. We plan, prepare, proof, and everything we can to assure ourselves that “this” will never happen. “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

 

We have no control over the events that unfold over your life. Sure you have freewill, make choices, and even plan your tomorrows. There is truth in the old saying of adding “if the Lord wills it…” First hand knowledge, you have no idea what your future will be.

 

Tomorrow might be your storm. Here is what you can do. Jesus taught about the storm in Matthew 7:24-28. Again, this was not a “IF” the storm hit, it is a “WHEN” the storm hits.”

 

Jesus says,” 24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

28 When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, 29 because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.

      The storm was the exact same in both situations. “The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house”. Jesus was not talking about the real rain and thunder storm here. He was talking about the storms that rip your heart out of your chest. When your spouse says they are packing their things, you get the phone call that drops you to your knees, or the doctor starts the findings with an “I’m sorry.” The storm you never saw coming.

 

Your storm is coming.

 

Jesus does have a question for you and the storm. Did you prepare? We aren’t talking about a well-padded savings account, a secure job, or great health insurance. When it comes down to it, those things are nothing to the storm. He asks what is underneath you? What have you built your life on? Before the storm came. As the world puts it “When the time for decision arrives, the time for preparation is past.” Thomas S. Monson

 

If your life has been built on the belief that God is good, regardless of the situation, you will stand. When you can say, this place is not my home and someday, because I have confessed my sins to my God and asked Him to walk with me in this life, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the place of eternity. If you have read the scriptures, and they are embedded in your heart, now is the time to go back and remember how God has shown himself to you in the past. If you can say, God is good even when this life is not because you have a relationship with Him, then you will stand because your foundation is solid.

 

If you do not have a relationship with Him, when the storm hits, you are going down. As Jesus says, like a house built on sand. When the same storm hit this house, it did not stand as the other house did. It fell with a “loud crash.”

 

Your storm is coming.

You need to check your foundation. Lots of people know me because of my job. I am the teacher at school. They say hello and chat and then walk away, and Scott asks me “who was that?” My answer many times. “I have no idea.” They know who I am because of what I do, but they really don’t know the real me. The “me” my family and friends put up with. :) 

Also, in Matthew 7, Jesus says some will come to me and say Lord, Lord did I not….and still Jesus says, “depart from me I never KNEW you.” Emphasis mine

 

Guys, I love you. But Jesus loves you so much more. But He is a God who gives you a choice. In Revelation, He makes it clear you can’t be “lukewarm”- church on Sunday, trying to be a ‘good person,” or raise your kids right. The Bible says he will spit (puke- depending on the translation) you right out of His mouth. Not because He is a cruel or unloving God, but because you made a choice. It wasn’t Him. You had other things to do. 

It's not if you know who Jesus was, but do you know who Jesus IS? Right now. Can you say you know Jesus in a personal, friend way? Do you talk with him and listen? Do you go to church just to spend more time with Him? Does He know you as His friend? It isn’t hard. Once you meet Him, you’ll never know how you got by without Him.

 

Your storm is coming. Be ready.

Rainbows and promises

 

Grief is a fire. Simmering quietly. Then it sets off. Uncontrollable. Unstoppable. Consuming everything. You try to put it out. You burn your hands. Welts and blisters. You have to stop the fire. Then you are standing in the middle of an inferno. You can’t go forward, backwards, or sideways. You are in the middle of a house on fire. Everything is on fire. Things start to collapse and fall. Then something falls from the ceiling pinning you to the ground. The pain is all consuming but you welcome the death. At least it will be over. Then all of the sudden you are standing in a giant pile of ash. Everything is gone. Just one giant pile of ash. Your body is still on fire. But it is inside now. Invisible scars. Everyone comes for the fire. But not the ash.

 

 

I wrote that the day after. I am a person who just has to get my feelings down on paper.

 

Time crawls by. I knew I had to go to church on Sunday. I had to. Church is where there is life. Church is where I can hear and be reminded of things buried deep in my soul. Church is the place my soul can breathe. I went and sat in the front row. I praised the Lord and lifted my hands. God is good. This I know. Before the service began, a woman came up to me and said she had a word for me. She said “The Lord will turn your ashes into beauty.”

 

Isaiah 61:3  “and provide for those who grieve in Zion, - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”   

 

I cried and cried. I do not ever believe in coincidence. Our family likes to call to these little signs God winks. Just God and our loved ones saying hello, sending strength, letting us know we are not alone. God does these things you can’t explain. I didn’t share that writing with anyone. It was just me getting out what I felt. That woman had no idea. But God did. God was sitting next to me. Holding me. Watching me write. Then he placed the word in this sweet woman’s heart who was willing to walk up to a grieving woman and speak truth to me.

 

There have been so many signs. Things there is no other way it could have happened other than God.  Hopefully someday Patty can share the amazing things that has been revealed.

 

Thank you all. The love and support has been felt and held us up in times when we thought we couldn’t stand. We know God has never left us. Not for a second. He mourns with us. This is not our home. This world is not our domain. We are aliens and foreigners here. We are members of the kingdom of heaven and are ambassadors to share about our world, our faith.

 

1 Corinthians 2: 6-10. 6 We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. 7 No, we declare God’s wisdom, a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. 8 None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. 9 However, as it is written:

“What no eye has seen,
    what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”[b]—
    the things God has prepared for those who love him—

10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.

The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

skunk?

Does anyone know how to get skunk spray off of a phone? I have a perfectly good reason for needing this advice. Now, my husband might not think so or some of you but to me it is a PERFECTLY good reason. 

I went for my walk yesterday. Oh, how I love summer. I came across this sign. I chuckled because it fit in nicely with the book I was listening to on tape. Basically, we don't know what is ahead but we do know who will join us there. I have been thinking a lot into the future. I will be returning to teaching on the fall and will be entering into a NEW grade. 1st. All the feels on that one. My kids are now blindingly so getting older. They are moving into themselves. My role is changing in so many areas at once. Sometimes I feel like I just need a minute (or month) to just catch up on everything. Even to think on where I am heading. But like the sign clearly says there will be twists and turns that I didn't see coming for me. Some for good and some for growing. As I walked on my twists and turns I ran into a friend. 

Yes, that is a baby skunk. Standing on the side of the road while cars hurriedly whip right past. NOW, in my defense, last summer I experienced a similar situation. I was driving when I saw him being whipped around from the wind of people's tires driving past. So I did what any sane person would do. I turned around and parked. Right there in a curve I was going to save Little Mr. Skunk. I had seen that his mama had not made it and I could just leave hi there. I approached him and tried to shoo him off the road. That wasn't working. I noticed though that there was no smell. I got in the car and found a bag and went and put him in the bag nad carried him back to my van. I couldn't let him on the curve. I called Scott.

There was a lot more he said but all I remember was a big NO don't you bring that home. He was so tiny and so cute/Was I going to abandon him?? Certainly not. I also googled why he hadn't sprayed me and it turns out he was not old enough yet. Lots of story and pictures later nad I found a friend who could take him to a state park where he would find family. Not only did I learn baby skunks can't spray, but also that a mama skunk will take in any and all babies AND skunks are the number 2 carriers of rabies right behind racoons. In other words, kids DO NOT try this at home. 

So I turned a bend and there he was. I heard Scott's voice in my head. "Theresa, let it alone." But I couldn't I just couldn't. I approached him and I should have noticed although a baby he was bigger that my last friend. I needed to get him off the edge of the road and into the bush that led to the forest. I stomped and kicked in his direction. He wasn't amused. I MAY have waved my hand close to his face to get him to GO! He may have hissed. He may have sprayed a little. My phone may have been in the hand I was trying to shoo him with. He was a baby and it wasn't bad, but I could tell he for sure was a sprayer. Still I would not abandon him! I crossed the road and my foot smooshed into a wet muddy, muck but I did get a larger branch. I came back and used my large stick to poke and force him back into the green home. Finally he padded his way away from the edge of the road and into the forest. Tossing my stick, my good deed for the day was done. I hadn't noticed a smell until I brought my hand up to my forehead to wipe. Yeah, he was a little guy but he had gotten my hand. 

Although my walk was not over, I decided to head home. Scott working in the basement was surprised to see me so soon. I had to come home I told him. His first words without even seeing me yet was "You better not have brought any animals with you." Not really but come here. He turned the corner and gagged. "How did you get sprayed by a skunk.?" Well, ya see there was this baby and he was at the edge of the road and... "I have heard this story before." "Yeah but this one was bigger that the last one and I guess he was big enough to spray." "You know you don't have to rescue the world?" "If only, but this little guy needed help." I went to shower and scrub (using Dawn dish soap make up wipes and everything I could think of. Eventually I couldn't smell is on me but I spent the rest of my evening wiping at my phone case. 

Trust God from the bottom of your heart. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go: He's the one who will keep you on track 

Don't assume you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!

Your body will glow with help  your very bones will vibrate with life. 

The Message- Proverbs 3:4-8

The curves and straight ahead. Certainly we never know what is around that bend. Perhaps a baby skunk who needs you. Or a new adventure or an ending you didn't see coming. Who knows. But the Word tells us if we trust (firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something) God, we know that He will keep us on track. If I am sticking close, He will guide me. If I ever find myself in the middle of a big forest of the edge of a scary road, i know I won't been alone. We walk together He and I. It's not always easy or fast, or makes any sense, but one thing i know it that it is good. Very good. I am so glad that I never walk around. 

 

The Dance

I had a long car ride ahead of me, so I decided to look through some audio books and pick one to help pass the time. My passengers were teenagers so I knew they were much more interested in staring into the black abyss of their eye lids than having a chat with me. I have been a huge reader for as long as I can remember, but my genres seem to change in and out. Everybook I came across just didn't seem to cut it. I finally landed on a book called Franenstein by Dean Koontz. This book was a twist on the old story of the real monster that Dr. Frankenstein erected with some borrowed body parts and some electricity. However, the book picks up a couple of hundred years later, and the creator has found a way to not only stay alive, but also create even more intricately designed creatures for his master race. The "advanced" race is actually "born " out of a tank. Before they are "born" and readied for their assignment, they have had billions of mega bites of data downloaded into them. They may never have experienced World War II or a Steeler's football game, but all of that information has been downloaded. Just in case it becomes needed to fulfill their goal- whatever it is the master is breeding them for.

Although that idea would knock me out of a job, I thought how interesting that would be. To download experiences and knowledge. Think of the time saver! The mistakes that could never be made. The time saved it would have saved me on memorizing the periodic table alone! *sidenote- which I have never been asked a question regarding the periodic elements and if in the case I was, I would I would look it up.

It brought me back to my high school years sitting in youth group, and asking my leaders why it was so hard to figure out God's PLAN. Here I was at the end of my high school career and about to become an adult, and I had no idea where I was to be in 10 years. Much wiser than me, they explained about following Jesus step by step. Only enough light for the next step. That certainly was an afront to my type A personality. A step at a time. No, just no. I sighed and said "Maybe He could just send me an email." Everyone laughed. Meanwhile, I'm opening my email thinking "well God if you parted the red sea You could send me a quick note."

But, alas, no email came. What if....I could have all the Christian knowledge downloaded into me? The Bible, the great commentaries, insightful pastors, and more! I would know! According to my Bible dictionary, Bible "knowledge" covers a wide range of meanings such as intellectual understanding, personally experience, emotion, and personal relationship. Intellectual understanding I would have downloaded! But the rest, not so much.

Have you ever seen the meme where it say how you think your life will go and it is a straight diagonal arrow going up. Then on the other side it says how it really goes with a mess of ups and downs and sometimes a mess of squiggles. On a Social Media post today, I saw that a famous country singer had sung Garth Brooks famous song "The Dance" and she said how it had reignited with her.

As I listened, thoughts jumped around my head (as they often do). Maybe sometimes it is better not to know. You might just decided that the hurt is not worth the cost. But maybe that cost is what brings light to another. There are personal experiences, many personal experiences, that I would have loved to jump over. Then could I walk alongside of those traveling on the same road? Could I share the pain, the suffering, the learning, and sometimes beauty?

The chorus of the song "Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I would have to miss the dance." My life is not up to chance. God knows every hair on my head and every ridiculous plan I ever had. He knows what I do before I do! As I walk just one day at a time with Him, I get to dance. Sometimes its a dance of leaping for joy, or perhaps one of mourning and sorrow. I know every step I take is moving me into the person I was created to be. As long as I keep my vision fixed on the Author and Perfecter of my faith.

It also says in the song that had I known the way it all would end - I might have changed it all. That's why I can't know ahead. Because the path is not always roses and rainbows, but it is purposeful. It is planned. When I finally meet my end, I know every high and every low will be worth it. It is worth it to me, perhaps for someone, for the Kingdom, but it will all be worth it for Jesus. Because what a dance life is. And Jesus, no one would I rather be dancing with than you.

come and see

 The sky was perfect. The ocean was breathtaking. I rasied my camera to take a picture. When I looked at the picture, it didn't come anywhere close to capturing the magnificence in front of me. So I tried again. And again. Anyone who has tried to capture that perfect moment will tell you, the picture never does the real thing justice.

I have a t shirt and it says "ask me about Jesus." I have not worn it yet because I haven't come up with what I would say if someone does ask. I read in the Bible "But in your heart set apart Christ as Lord. ALWAYS be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give reason for the hope you have." 1 Peter 3:15

Such a big question. I have stewed over this for months. Why do I believe the way I believe and why do I think you need it?

My mom taught me it. We all know (especially since I am now one) mothers hold the secret to life. Church told me and church leaders told me. The Bible is an absolutely fascinating book. This come from someone who has read thousands. Purely from a literacy stand point in my opinion it is unmatched. I could go on all day about that. Do I believe because what does it mean if I don't?

I have to have a better reason. After all, I stake my whole like on this. Could I tell you the times Jesus has done something miraculous in my life? So many times. Could I tell you about the time Jesus led me out and away from somewhere that wasn't for me and now I can see it? Over and over again. What about my times of worship or the quietness of a whisphered prayer. Truly when I look at the tapestry of my life I can't see a place God's hand wasn't at work.

But you asked me about this Jesus. What can I tell you? Today I started reading in the Gospel of John. At the very beginning of it all, he turns to ask the men (his future disciples) "What are you looking for?" They were probably taken aback. Bible scholars think that may have meant just that or He may have meant a more theological question meaning "to remain, continue, or abide." In other words "What are you seeking in life?" Even in the best of circumstances, the clouds just right and colors breathtaking with the very best of I Phones, I can't capture the sunset.

I can and would love to tell you all Jesus has saved me from. The places I've been and the things I have seen. I can tell you when I know I heard His voice and have seen his hand. As hard as I try, I can't find the words. Like my sunset.

So, tell me about this Jesus. I would love to introduce you. Explain the basics. Storytime on what He has done for me. But when I look into your eyes and grab your hand I know you just don't "get it." His Word, of course, has the perfect answer. "Come and see." Because I am not sure what Jesus will mean to you. What He wants to do in your life. I don't have the words to express how much He loves you. That's ok. Because it will be your personal journey. No two are alike.

We can meet and talk. Share things we learned and heard. Perhaps right then and there lift each other in prayer. Oh, but that's no sunset. To experience the sunset you need to be there. You have to see it for yourself. I'll walk to the top of the hill with you. Hold your hand and point to where it is. But only when you see and experience for yourself will you finally GET IT. So, tell me about Jesus. COME AND SEE.

Counting for life

 I am just putting this out here cause I'm a writer and that's how I process things. Today my school had 2 amazing projects going on that caused a lot of adults to be in the building. I knew this. But why did I panic and throw up my hands in front of my kids as I walked them to specials? Why did I tighten the line up, scanning where they were and where the adults were? Why did I count my children over 20 times to make sure they were all still there? And then I stood outside the gym door until they were all safe inside with locked doors. Then I went back to my room and locked my door and tried not to have a panic attack. With all the voices in the hallway. Then I had to get them. I had already mapped out which halls we would take and what action I would take if needed. After walking very quickly back to my room -counting always counting- I counted one last time. And then locked my door. And my chest ached and my breathing was fast. How can you get PTSD from an event you have never been in? One child asks to go to the nurse. Oh no. Should I walk him with the whole class? That puts the whole class in danger again. Do I just send him out to the wolves? I let him go and say make sure I know the minute you are back.  Like I won't be watching the door like a hawk waiting for him. I spend my prep brainstorming ideas on making the playground safer or bus dismissal safer. This isn't my first rodeo. Every...time this happens teachers everywhere go through this. We suffer in silence while everyone else in the world argues over whys and hows and whats while it's our bodies that we will throw in the line of fire. It's our voices that will scream run and then mindlessly fall back on our endless training.  I just want you to know. I am sick of teacher bashing and hearing how broken of a system we have. Well that's because we are a broken people. And we have a world full of brokenness and not enough glue to fix. So I go on. With my nightmares, my planning, my nodding. I just wanted you to know the next round of bashing teachers rolls around. The over paid babysitter comments. The "anyone could do that" speeches. It is my honor to reach into the future like a teacher does. A blessing to have so many beautiful people come through your life. It is my please to watch children laugh and play. But there are the hard parts too. The dark heart of a person that wants to destroy our future, our hearts, our babies. Today was a nervous day. The next will be better. One day I may be able to go down a hall without counting. But not today.

Maybe I was wrong

**An excerpt from the devotional When Jesus Shows Up: A Different Kind of Bible Study  by Theresa Demi

I hung back. The crowds were screaming. Feet stomping dirt up into the air.  The people had picked up palm branches and were waving them. "Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the King of Israel!" In one giant wave, the crowd flowed on while I hung back. I bent over and picked up one of the branches they had laid in His path. Crushed and trampled. Broken and Bruised. I drug the plam down the inside of my hand and a thin river of blood mixed with my blood and sweat. Maybe I was wrong? Maybe I had misunderstood?

I hid in shadows and in the crowds. I listened to what the people were saying. One man shouted, "Did you hear? This is Jesus! The man who raised Lazarus from the dead!" A second man exclaimed, "Here He comes into the Holy city! He will do it, this one! He will deliver us from our oppression of the Romans!" The first man wiped at his sweaty brow. The excitement radiating out of his face.  "Indeed! Surely a man who does wonders such as himself will find the role of King quite fitting!" They laughed . Their hope opened up from all to see.

As they walked away, I realized I was holding my breath. I thought back to one of the first times I sat at Jesus's feet. I knew I shouldn't. It wasn't proper. It wasn't where I was suppose to be. But...but there was something about His voice. When He spoke it felt like a breeze on a hot summer day or a rain after the drought. Everything He said I stored away. Had He ever mentioned overthrowing the rulers? Of taking the place of King of our people to lead us out from Rome? No. He had not. I was sure of it.

I pushed closer to the chaos. Another man, this one young and strong, grabbed hold of the older man in front of him. "Did you hear? This Jesus rose a man from the dead!" The older man shook his hand from him and he scoffed. "If I were you I wouldn't put a lot of faith into such fairytales."

But Mary knew. The pain sliced through her chest as she remembered.She remembered.  Nothing in her life had cut her as deep as her brother's death.

As he struggled to breath I begged him, "Just hang on brother! He is coming! He will save you!" I knew it! I believed it more than I had ever believed in anything before. Then Lazarus stopped breathing. It was like the world suddenly went dark. I couldn't see or breathe. I collapsed. I remember waking up in my bed and staring at the ceiling. He hadn't come, and Lazarus was dead.

I was sitting at the table staring at the very place I had sat at the teacher's feet. How could I have been so wrong? All of the sudden people were yelling that Jesus was here. Martha took off in a run. I couldn't bring myself to stand. He was too late.

The master has asked for you Martha had said. At those words, my soul shattered. I stood up and ran .When I saw Him, my knees gave out and I fell at His feet. The place where at one time I had found hope and peace. "Master, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died!" I felt something on my head. I reached up, and it felt wet. I looked into the face of Jesus as tears rolled down His face. He did love my brother! Why had He not come?

After that it was almost as if we were walking in a dream. We went to the tomb. Jesus told us to move the stone while ignoring the scoffing followers. And when Jesus called "Lazarus come out!" A rumbling began from the depth of the earth. A vibration was semt up into my body where my teeth because to chatter. Then all was quiet. Silent Then my brother walked out! Never would I doubt His faithfulness, compassion, and love.

Someone pushed into me. I fell into the dust. The cloud chocked me, and there were feet all around. Afraid I might be trampled, I quickly rose to catch a last glimpse of Jesus before the crowd swallowed him.

The last time I had been with Jesus, I knew something was coming for Him. I didn't know how to put what I felt into words. An end of sorts was coming. I had to do something before it came to tell Him how much I loved Him! How could I show him before it was too late. The urgency pounded in my head as my hands shook. Then I remembered the nard I had been saving. For what I never knew, but I  had a feeing it would change everything. Tripping over my own feet I ran to grab it, as I walked towards Him, I admit I began to doubt. Something dark whispered in my ear. Softly at first. "You will make a fool of yourself! They will throw you out of His presence! Why waste such a gift?" But I pushed through. I kept walking. I broken open the jar and pour out my heart to Him. Where words seemed finite and not enough, I hoped that this offering might speak what my heart was crying.

Then the darkness took on a voice I knew well. Judas. "What a waste!" I looked over at him and blinked. For a moment...I could have sworn I saw.... Darkness and shadows. Wrapping around his body. When he spoke again, my blood ran cold. "Why not sell this and give the profit to the poor?"

Then Jesus spoke. The minute He spoke the darkness fled. I swear I thought I heard...maybe...a shriek? "Let her alone. She is anticipating and honoring the day of my burial. You will always have the poor with you. You don't always have me."

Then I knew. The words..... burial....you won't always have me. I knew.

As the crowd thinned as they followed the man they thought would soon be king, I caught a smell that made my heart leap and then drop at the same time. The perfume. The scent still lingered when I poured out my offering. When I wiped his feet with my hair. Anointing Him for burial.  He was finishing what He had started. An end not a beginning. I knelt down in the dirt and dust and watched as my tears gathered in a puddle beneath.

A king? A conqueror of Rome. How could I have been so wrong? Perhaps I was? He would be King! Hope bloomed in my chest. But something wasn't right although the word King rang true. I looked to the sky. Passover would begin soon. There was much to do. This was the time to thank God above for delivering us from the Egyptians. By the blood of the lamb, we were saved as the angel of death would not touch us if the blood covered us. A flash of red flew through my mind. The smell of blood. Something was coming. Something that would change the world forever. I thought I knew what was happening. Now I am not so sure. But one thing I do know. This man holds the keys to death. I had seen the darkness flee from his presence. I had seen it power gone with the opening of his mouth. I didn't know what was happening, but I did know whatever it was and for whatever reason, Jesus was allowing it. He walked straight , calm, because He knew