Thursday, May 10, 2012

Am I mom enough??

If you haven't seen the Time magazine cover, then don't. But if you haven't seen it I am sure you will google it. Go ahead....I'll wait. Here is my biggest problem.

No, it is not that I am staring at a woman's breast. Can I just say I have no desire to see your breast. Whether a baby is attached to it or not. Yes, I fully support your decision to breastfeed. Great. Super for baby. Hooray. I still would prefer that I not be looking at your nipple, breast, or anything else. Sorry. Just this thing I have. Should you have to hide in a bedroom, bathroom, or whatever. No. But can we try to avoid me seeing your anatomy? If I cover it with a bath suit piece, we teach in kindergarten that it is a private part. That is all. I am not saying you can't. I just would rather me...or my 8 year old son..not be staring at your breast. And I saw some woman comment that a breast is not a sexual part. It is for nurturing a baby. I won't even go there.

But that isn't my real gripe. I will not comment on the fact that I think I saw that kid in kindergarten....or the fact that we are being compared to third world countries who breastfeed toddlers. Because they don' You like how I didn't comment.

No. My REAL grip here is not the picture. It is the caption. "Are you mom enough?" Just what the sam hill does that mean? Here we go again. Drawing the line. So....if I make a choice, and my choice is not breastfeeding, I am not mom enough? I am currently pregnant with my 5th child. My children are 8, 6, 4, 2, and baby boy soon enough. Can I assure you I am mom enough. I have been puked on, stayed up all night with sick kids, held laughing children, crying children. I have sat for hours doing homework, cooking them meals, coloring pictures, and playing in the summer pool. I have been through pregnancy and labor four going on five times. I will give up hours of sleep and sanity to raise my children. I have been to the beach 33 weeks pregnant and played in the sand with my other children. I have sat in an er more times than I can count. I can assure you that I am mom enough.

Just a little background...although it is none of anyone else's business. I have tried to breastfeed with every child. I will probably try again. And for a variety of reasons, it didn't work. And I am ok with that. Frankly, I don't care if anyone else isn't. I have a very good friend who beat herself up with guilt because her milk wouldn't come in. She tried everything. Her diet, exercise, all kinds of torture devices. No dice. Her baby was still not gaining weight. She was in pain. So by golly, she did the unthinkable. She got a bottle. You know what I told her. "Good for you."I didn't tell her she was less of a mom. I didn't give her a pamphlet on breast is best. I accepted her decision and life moves on.

Why does it always have to be this way with women? We always are drawing lines and making judgements. What we think is best and what she should be doing. Why her kids are this way or that. What is the best way to feed, teach, potty train, or raise our kids. This isn't all about breast feeding. It is about making sweeping judgements of other women based on the fact that we think our opinion should carry more weight than it actually does.

Let's make a deal ok? I will make the very best decisions I know for my kids. You make the very best decisions for your kids. I won't roll my eyes. You won't talk about me. Let's all join hands and sing kumbaya. Then we can all be "mom enough."


  1. So absolutely perfect!

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