Scott

My husband.
I am thankful for my husband.

Because he thinks and tells me I am beautiful no matter what.
Because he brings me coffee when he knows I need it.
Because he puts the kids in bed.
Because he prays for me.
Because he asks me what would make me happy.
Because he works hard to provide for our home.
Because he gets me a drink or medicine or whatever I ask for in the middle of the night.
Because he lets me have the heater on in the van even though he hates it.
Because he says get whatever you need.
Because he says I love you all of the time.
Because he leaves me little notes or messages.
Because he packs my lunch.
Because he brings me flowers.
Because he tells me that I am needed.

Blessed beyond measure.

Thankful

Each morning out principal gets on the speaker and gives us his "daily words of wisdom." Today he told a very powerful story. To paraphrase, a man was upset because he did not have shoes. On his walk toward town, he saw a man sitting along side the road who was play the most beautiful music. He began to dance. He called out to the man playing the music "why don't you get up and dance with me?" The man sitting replied " I would love to, but you see I have no feet." Actually, this was the second time we heard the story. When our principal was absent last Friday, the secretary had read this one already. But as I told the my kids "looks like we needed to hear that message one more time!"

Thankfulness. Thanksgiving (my 2nd favorite holiday). To take time to look at what you have and look away from all of the "wants" and "longings" we seem to focus on everyday. Many of us spend time tallying everything we don't have. When we start looking toward what we do have, a peace of heart, a gratefulness falls on us.

Today I am thankful for the one who first put the beat in my heart. To my God who loved me before I was ever formed in my mother. The one who sent His one and only Son to the cross for the sins I would make. To my Savior who loves me when I am unlovable. To the God who casts my sins as far as the east is from the west.

I am thankful for my Jesus, my God, and the gift of the Spirit the dwells within.

Halloween memories

I don't have a very good memory. When someone says "remember when..." I usually panic. Cause I don't. It is nothing against you or whatever happened "that one time." Really. That being said, the memories I do have usually come out quite strong.

One of the kids in school asked me if I like Halloween. "No, I hate it." I am just not a fan of scary stuff. I hate driving past houses and looking at spiders hanging on webs or creepy bloody faces peeking out from everywhere. Plus, people make me nervous. Trick or treating has always made me nervous. The students said " I bet you liked it when you were a kid." Which got me to thinking. I do remember liking the trick or treating part. But I have always hated the scary parts.

When I was a kid, it snowed. That I remember. I remember stepping over snow drifts to get to the houses. Always when picking out a costume you had to make sure you could fit your winter coat under it or had a mask at least when your winter coat was on the outside. I remember the town party we would have before hand. The kids walking in a circle to have their costumes judged. I remember my siblings and I running all over town. And having to dump our bags at least 2 times to fit all of the candy. I remember the huge silver bowl the candy sat in.

There are things that are blurry for me. I know we carved pumpkins. I don't remember much about it. I remember my mom digging in the pumpkins. I could not tell you one Halloween costume I ever wore. Or one piece of candy I ever got.

Then I think about creating memories with my own crew. We carved pumpkins. I HATE carving pumpkins. But they love it. I let them draw whatever face they wanted. Scott carved them. We dug out the seeds. Cleaned up the mess. Scott takes them door to door usually with my mom. I stay home and hand out candy.

I sometimes wonder what will stick. I will live if Rachel never remembers that she was wonder woman for Halloween or if Luke can't recall me digging out his pumpkin guts after he declare it "yuck" and moved on. But I hope they remember joy in their childhood. I hope they remember some fun and laughter.

guess

Will and I have a couple of games we play together while driving to school. One game is guess the number. He says "mommy, I am thinking of a number between 1 and 10." And I guess and guess. Then we switch places.

Today when we were playing, I couldn't get it. I think the very last number it could be was his number. Will said "Mommy, the number was 6. Like my age. How could you not guess that?" When it was my turn I picked 4 (for the number of children I have). I thought for sure it would be his first guess. Or at least his second. He had to be able to read my mind. Funny thing was- he didn't get it. And I was sure his next guess would be it! Actually he "forgot" about 4. He got so concerned that he yelled out 11 in desperation. When I pointed out 11 is not in between 1 and 10 he laughed like crazy and told me he knew that but thought maybe I had become a cheater.

After I dropped him off and I was driving to work myself, I thought about how funny it is that I sometimes think that people can read my mind. It is often a common plight among women and men. He should have known. The men answer with "how could I have known. Why didn't you tell me?" In which case we answer "you should have known."

To be honest I am quite content that know one knows all my thoughts and feelings. And I bet you are too. But if I am unhappy because someone doesn't "know" what I want or need then why not ask. It certainly makes more sense. Then we all know what is going on. What we all want and need.

Today (and tomorrow) I am going to ask.

Isabella Noel

January of 2009 was not a good time for us. The thing about grief is how it consumes you. The smallest thing can seem to suffocate you. Memories. Disbelief. Pain. It was not only winter outside but mostly in our heart as well.

And then came a joyful surprise. A promise of hope. A baby on the way. It seemed almost unreal at the time. That life was continuing. Life would continue on in some fashion. We found out we were having a girl. We would name her Isabella- a name I had carried in my heart for years. The middle name Noel- in memory of our last Christmas.

With her birth, she brought the sun. She brought back the promise of new life and the fulfilling of a promise. She brought hope and laughter. The moments she was born, she cried and I asked if she was ok. When Scott said "she is perfect" I cried. In that moment, my heart that had been fighting the reality of God still being in control, was broken. She was here. And perfect. God was still God. In the pain. And in the joy. He comforts us in times of trial. He rejoices with us with His blessing.

Everyday with you Isabella is a gift I never thought to ask for. Your two tooth grin and squealing joy can't help but hit the heart. Even now, before you can talk, you wave to everyone you meet. Wanting everyone to know that they are noticed. Even if only by you. Your hugs and kisses are treasures.

You are my sunshine. Happy First Birthday Baby Girl.

Thankful Thursday

"A single grateful thought toward heaven is the most complete prayer."

Gotthold Lessing

1. My Jesus
2. My husband, Scott
3. My kids- Will, Rachel, Luke, and Bella
4. My other family- you know who you are ;)
5. My job as a teacher, which I love
6. My husband's job- which he loves
7. warm house
8. food in my belly
9. healthcare
10. books- ahhhh...books (which I need to buy a stack of before next weekend)
11. friends I work with
12. My forever friends
13. cozy Pj's
14. laundry done (LOVE my mom)
15. laughing...lots
16. romantic comedies
17. writing
18. old movies
19. country music
20. health

and I could go on and on......

***** I fixed it Kelly. So thankful for you... ;)

and so goes it...

We are half way through the third week of school. The THIRD week of school.

It seems that when fall hits, the world begins to spin out of control for awhile. At least in my house. I return to my full time teaching gig and the kids return to school/daycare. Soccer, dance, scouts begin. My calendar is covered in red pen. Doctors appointments and choir. Finishing up summer while dancing into autumn.

While these are all good things, sometimes important things can get pushed aside. Quiet moments. Reading a good book. Writing down the beautiful and wonderful clips of life. I found myself thinking, I should write about that. I need to jot that down so I remember. And then I forget.

Like the night before his first day of FIRST grade William told me that he had a funny feeling in his tummy. He said "I think I am hungry." I told him no I think he was nervous. Then he said I think you are right and he asked why things just can't stay the same. I smiled and gave him a hug. Knowing more than he does how fast time will fly.

Rachel had her first "girl" fight at daycare. It seems when Rachel entered the scene another little one wasn't too happy. The other girl thought she would be the boss. No worries though. Rachel told me that she simply told the girl that when Rachel is not around she can be the boss. But when Rachel is there...well, that is a different story.

Luke is now in the pre-school class at daycare. He is writing letters....writing letters. In the three weeks of school, I am proud to announce that he has been in time out only once! And if you know my little ball of excitement you would rejoice too. He is my sweetheart though. As I lay on the couch, crying in pain (more on that) he came over and laid his little hand on me. "I will pray for you mommy."

And did I mention that my Isabella is turning one next week. I was standing in front of the ice cream case today (don't judge me) and thought I should buy this now for Bella's birthday. And then I thought BIRTHDAY. And my eyes got real foggy real quick. Cause she is my baby. My baby. Did I mention about time passing so very quickly.

Scott has gotten a new title at work. Instead of a GUP 2, he is now a GUP 1. No I don't know what he does. I think it is top secret. Or so stinkin' complicated that I can't follow him from point a to point b. You gotta keep it simple, like "I teach kids to read." See, simple.

And I, my friends, am heading into surgery. The whole withering in pain thing? I am having my gall bladder removed. Next Friday. Scott is off already and I also have my sub lined up. Nothing to do but a million pre-op appointments and phone calls.

Let's try and keep in touch, k? Cause I saw my first tree filled with nothing but red leaves today. Time-she is a moving.