Sunday, October 7, 2012

Is anyone up?

I am not sure exactly when, but at some point in my young childhood my mom and dad decided that I was moving from my comfortable spot in bed with my two brothers to my very own bed. We were still in the same room. My single bed was turned sideways and against the bottom of their queen. Man, did I hate it. I would wait until my mom would tuck us all in. Wait for night prayers. Wait until she shut the door. Then I might try to fall asleep. But more times than not, I would jump out of my bed and into my brothers' bed. I would snuggle down in between them. I hated to sleep alone.

And when the girls got shipped out into the "hall" which was the room beside our bedroom, I would fall asleep comfortably with the light that shined up the stairs and into the room. That light was the tv that my dad had on nightly. I found such comfort in the fact that although I may be falling asleep, dad was up. I couldn't tell you what I was particularly afraid of. But whatever happened, I knew that dad was up and he would handle it.

I thought of that with my own son. He went through a stage where he would need us to fall asleep with him. He would ask "mom, are you still awake? Don't go to sleep without me." He still has problems falling asleep if his brother and sisters have fallen asleep first. He wants to know that someone is up. Someone is watching.

I thought of this as I read Psalm 121.....

I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,  the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel  will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going  both now and forevermore.

Thoughts of the boogie man don't plague my nights of slumber and worries of what is under the bed don't have me curling into my husband's back. No. But truth be told, I have real worries. How many times I have I wished I could just shut off my mind and drift off? How many times have the worries of the future stolen my peace and caused me many late nights. And truly, if I am being honest, how many times have I whispered in the dark, "Jesus, are you awake? I need you."

Just like when I was a child, I need someone bigger than me being awake when I slumber. I need someone stronger who can handle it, taking care of the boogie mans of the world, while I dream without a care. How reassuring to know that HE who watches over me will not slumber. He is awake! He is watching over my life, watching over me! Now and forevermore.

This of course does not promise that everything is how I wish it to be. Of course, I can't always see the whole picture. But just the fact that I know my father is up and keeping watch....helps me rest easier.  

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