“We have to call the doctor and then you have to have a bag of fluids in you. With this being your 5th baby and already to a five, I bet you will be delivering soon.” Her words brought no comfort. I have done this with and without the epidural. And I wanted that epidural. I knew I could probably get through the middle and even the transition, but it was the pushing that terrified me. So much easier with the epidural. But it was too late. Here we were.
“I could give you something in your IV if you want,” she asked. “That would be great,” I answered through the tears. Partially from pain, partially from disappointment. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but I later found out it was nubain. A drug that hits hard and fast. I felt it burn up my arm and then it brought sweet sleep. Well, not really sleep, but rather a drug induced haze. Scott says I slept through the small contractions, and was really only coherent for the large ones. Which I would breath through until my lips were cracked and chapped. Scott tried to get me to try ice chips but I couldn’t. I felt like I would puke. The nurse checked me and said I was an 8. She told me to tell her when I felt the pressure to push. At some point my doctor came in and said “well, we meet again. I was going to induce you next week ya know.” Of course, I was busy breathing so I couldn’t really chat.
Finally, I was done. I knew it was time. “Please, get the nurse,” I said to Scott. I felt a horrible pressure. I knew the baby was coming. I also knew this was my worst part. I was going to have to push. But because of the drugs, I didn’t feel right and honestly was so exhausted that I didn’t know what I was doing. The nurse came in and checked me and said “yep, I need to go get the doctor.” He came in and things were rolling. It was 1:15 and I just kept thinking that soon I would be holding my son. After all this was baby #5. With 2, 3, and 4 I had to push maybe 5 times and there they were. However, baby #5 decided that he wasn’t coming straight down.