Sunday, November 13, 2011

miracles and thankfulness

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” — Albert Einstein

Last night my hip was asleep. Because a head was on it. When I lay with the three older ones to go to sleep, they have to take turns on who sleeps by mommy. And the one whose turn it isn't sleeps at my feet or with their head on my hip. We are a tangled mess of elbows, arms, heads, and blankets. I can't turn. Can't breathe barely. I think to myself, I have to get Scott to take a picture of this sometime. Years from now, we will look at it and laugh. We will remember how they would fight about whose turn it was. About whose turn it was to hug the top half or the bottom half. Years from now, I know I will tear up and remember. For today, I am thankful for a numb hip.

This is my 5th pregnancy. It isn't that I have not felt blessed each and everytime. It isn't that I have not realized that a baby is a miracle. But this time, when I looked down on the two lines, my eyes welled up with tears. Because I in no way deserve all of the goodness I have, I see, that I have touched.

I could go on forever. My husband who had flowers and Frooties (my fav candy!) when I came home from a work trip. My kids who always have me laughing. My family, my home, my life.

But most of all...for grace. Receiving God's favor even when I don't deserve it. Going to the cross to save me from a life I would choose and deserve. But He stood in the way. Laid down his life....for me.

It is overwhelming.

This little one I carry has reminded me of this. Of gifts and blessings given freely. Reminding myself to say thank-you, be thankful. To not taken a moment for granted.

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