Sunday, February 20, 2011

We got gaps

Some may say (such as myself), that there is a direct correlation between the condition of my kitchen and the condition of my life. For example, it would not take a PH.D. to walk into my kitchen at the moment and see that I have been sick for the better part of two weeks. I guess it also shows that I must be turning a corner in my sickness as the kitchen is now torn apart and ready to be hands and knees scrubbed. A giant garbage bag is at the ready to take all of the clutter that is at the moment covering my blue counters. I am back.

This is a comical thing in my marriage. I can be laying in bed and Scott will say to me "what is wrong." I say "The kitchen is a mess." He laughs. Me, not so much. To me if the kitchen is a mess I feel uneasy. I feel the same way if I know I have to write out the bills. It always is lingering in the back of my mind. My husbands mind does not work this way. I can guarantee you that the state of the kitchen is the last thing on his mind!

Women must learn to multi task for survival. We are wives, moms, teachers, doctors, cooks, and the rest. Our minds racing to the next thing we need to do.

My husband is not like that. This does not make one better than the other. Just different. He gives all of his attention on the matter at hand.

I laugh when I think back on a conversation we had after going to a past marriage conference in which the man speaker said "Ladies when we say we are thinking about "nothin'" we really are thinking about nothin'" So I said to Scott " Can you think of nothing?" "All the time." I said "Do you mean nothing important?" "No, I mean nothing at all." "Like a blank slate?" "Yep." I sat in wonder.

It is probably a good thing God gave us differences. Cause someone has to care about the kitchen floor, but we certainly don't need two people up pondering when the electric bill is due. Plus I learn from him how to relax. Think of other things. And he learns from me to help carry my load so I can be more open to thinking about other things. Marriage isn't about changing one person to the liking of another but rather completing each other.

As the great thinker Rocky said when his friend Paulie asked "what's the attraction?"
Rocky- "I dunno...she fills gaps."
Paulie- "What gaps?"
Rocky- " i dunno...she's got gaps, I got gaps. together we fill the gaps."

1 comment:

  1. Theresa,
    I've heard what you so humorously share described as "Men are waffles. Women are spaghetti." It is amazing how they can compartmentalize everything, and for us, one thing leads to the next, which leads to the next. . . this is why my husband HATES IKEA and I love it. For him, it's torture to walk through the maze of rooms with no clear exit. For me, it's heaven :) I'm visiting today from Be Not Weary, and glad I did :)