You tell me which kid.....
child- "Mom, I had the best dream."
me- "What was it about?"
child- "I had a fart gun."
me- "Do you mean a dart gun?"
child- "no, a big stinky fart gun."
Scott- "Do you know (insert child's name) is carrying a ninja sword into church?"
me- "(Insert child's name) please do not ninja stab anyone while we are in church."
me- Please (insert child's name) stop eating dog food.
Me "No you cannot cut your own hair. I don't care if your brother told you that will get all of the curls out."