Isabella Noel

January of 2009 was not a good time for us. The thing about grief is how it consumes you. The smallest thing can seem to suffocate you. Memories. Disbelief. Pain. It was not only winter outside but mostly in our heart as well.

And then came a joyful surprise. A promise of hope. A baby on the way. It seemed almost unreal at the time. That life was continuing. Life would continue on in some fashion. We found out we were having a girl. We would name her Isabella- a name I had carried in my heart for years. The middle name Noel- in memory of our last Christmas.

With her birth, she brought the sun. She brought back the promise of new life and the fulfilling of a promise. She brought hope and laughter. The moments she was born, she cried and I asked if she was ok. When Scott said "she is perfect" I cried. In that moment, my heart that had been fighting the reality of God still being in control, was broken. She was here. And perfect. God was still God. In the pain. And in the joy. He comforts us in times of trial. He rejoices with us with His blessing.

Everyday with you Isabella is a gift I never thought to ask for. Your two tooth grin and squealing joy can't help but hit the heart. Even now, before you can talk, you wave to everyone you meet. Wanting everyone to know that they are noticed. Even if only by you. Your hugs and kisses are treasures.

You are my sunshine. Happy First Birthday Baby Girl.