Saturday, June 20, 2009

Tears

So it totally could be pregnancy hormones. But my throat closed up when I saw the preview for the new Jon and Kate. I started to cry as I begin to realize that the announcement that will bring "peace" is probably the end of their 10 year marriage.

Of course, I don't know them. And really only have glanced at the occasional episode. But the one weekend that TLC was running a marathon I watched a bit. And I saw Jon and Kate home videos. The ones before they had kids. Laughing and talking. The one where he asks her to marry her. And my heartbreaks.

Marriage is hard. So very hard. Two people with their own personalities, wants, likes, dislikes, ideas, and dreams. And we try to mesh them together into "one." Which is so hard when you KNOW that you are always RIGHT. Feelings hurt and disappointments set in. AND then comes the children. And small needy (whiny) children yet to boot! And they have their own personalities, wants, likes, dislikes, ideas, and dreams. And Jon and Kate have 8!

And there are a million reasons to quit. I can't forgive. I am not happy. I am tired. He is killing my car insurance premium (oops). But don't we owe it to our kids to remember why to stay? I can see 8 little ones who aren't going to gain a lot of "peace" if the decision is to leave.

But I read a post recently that I thought was wonderful on why we should stay. A friend was telling a story about how she had come to the end of her rope. But she had 3 children ages 4 and under and decided to try. As she was talking to her husband about trying for their kids, her husband looked at her and said no. That is not enough. This can't just be for the kids. It has to be for us. For me and you to find each other again.

To remember the little reasons why we fell in love in the first place. Why we laughed and talked and trusted them. How we couldn't wait for them to call and talk. How we looked for ways to do something nice for them. And how we looked past their faults. Because they were looking past ours.

So I will watch for the announcement. And probably be crying no matter what. GGRRR..the hormones!

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