Saturday, January 7, 2017

Happy New Year!

**Edit- You will notice his post will be published on 1-7-17. I started it on the 31st but you know..life, and kids, and cleaning (just kidding, and facebook)


Hello! One of my new years resolutions is to write again. Because I like it. And it makes me feel better. Frankly I don't even care if no one reads it. I am just putting it out in the universe. And frankly, if you do read it you will feel better about YOUR life. So let get started on the resolutions that are NOT going to happen...

1. Matching socks. Because just no. My mornings are bat shit crazy. 5 kids and 2 working adults. I'll take coffee with my side of insanity. Also, to have matching socks would have to mean someone has to match them. We don't have the money to hire someone for that. So looks like my kids are going to go with it. I frankly don't care if my socks match. As a matter of fact, if I am wearing socks when there is 2 feet of snow outside, I consider it a win. #truestory

2. Exercise. Well, in my head I would like to start walking more. But I can't do that until when I go outside the air stops hurting my face. No I am not "bundling up" and going. Because I would have to find a hat, scarf....gloves. Although I am certainly not against non-matching gloves...seriously. Its like we have disposable gloves at out house. Buying them at the dollar store cause you are going to wear them one time and then they disappear to the "I don't know where I last had them" gods.

3. Keep my car clean. Often known as "I don't no where I last had them" gods dwell. I lose my sh*t looking for the left shoe, and finally when I admit defeat and say I'll just carry him even if he is 4 1/2...I find the other shoe in the car. Seriously? How does this even happen? Who came out of the car with one shoe on and their mom didn't notice. Seriously.

4. Keeping up with laundry. I have 5 kids. Two adults also live here. Laundry? I think it adds to my decor.

5. Waking up earlier.
Funny minions not a morning person:












6. Drink less caffeine....see #5

7. Start saving money- This is one I should totally do. It anyone interested in giving me one hundred dollars a month I can put into a savings account? Anyone?

8. Remember my 6 million passwords for every freaking site that has their own special requirements. Who are you to tell me my password is "weak" and not let me use it? I'll decide what how strong my password is and I will use it if I so choose.

9. limit my kids screen time. That is so awesome if you are a mom who builds puzzles with the kids and come up with cool craft with toilet paper rolls. Listen, there are not a lot of perks with having five kids (see 7) One of my favorite is that they play together. Sometimes. Okay they scream in each others faces, slap each other, throw things at their sibling, scream mom, and suck out  my soul one broken piece at a time. Wait...what was I saying? Oh yeah, screen time. My kids turn into little zombies? loving it!

10. Stop swearing. stop drinking so much wine. stop eating past 7. Stop watching funny ass...oops. funny a** mom videos and feel better about my momness. Stop making up words like momness.


Happy New Year Everyone!

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