Today in church I watched him sleep. Tucked close to me. His hair- the little he has- tosses over his head. Perfect eyelashes on pink, chubby cheeks. His little lips puckered like he is dreaming of bottles. His little hand is wrapped around my finger. And I think he is perfect. As the anticipation swells with Christmas wish lists, wrapping and bows, I think to myself that truly I need nothing. I have it all.
"16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."
I think about this scripture often in the quiet moments with my children. I wonder what Mary knew and what she didn't. She knew the scripture. Did she have any idea on what was to come. Perhaps she didn't. Either way, we as parents can do no more to change our children's destiny than she could have.
But what can I do? Treasure up all these things and ponder them in my heart. It was no guarantee that Nick would be ok. My health was not good and as my pregnancy progressed I wondered if he was ok. I held my breath at each appointment. I remember not even thinking of checking gender at my ultrasound. I just wanted to hear he was ok. And now here he is. Beautiful, healthy, and perfect.
Tonight as I fixed Rachel's hair I remembered this verse. She laughed and chatted as I straightened her hair. She hates her curly hair. Although I love it, I have been promising that I would try to straighten it. So I did and she danced and laughed in the mirror. She came and threw her arms around me. And I treasured it in my heart. My 6 year old princess who someday will dance to her own tune.
When William climbs into my bed at night, I noticed how much bigger he is getting. This morning I noticed how short his pants are getting. How many more Christmas do we have with the magic of childhood with him? As he snuggles close, sweats all over me, and snores like his father, I treasure it in my heart.
Bella put on a dance show for me today. She begins (always) by shouting "Presenting Bella Demi." She wiggles all around and blows kisses during her show. Then she grabs my hands and says "dance mommy!" I join her on stage and twirl and toss her around. We flip our hair and jump up and down. Treasuring every second.
Luke crawls up on my lap during church. One moment he is my rough and tumble guy and the next he is mama's boy. He looks up with those heart stopping eyes to say "your the best." He closes his hand around mine. Someday when this boy towers over me I will remember him sitting here. I will remember his hands.
I don't know what was going through Mary's mind when shepherds, wise men, people from all over were showing up. But from one mother to another I am sure she was dreaming of his future while treasuring his here and now. When I think of all I have, I just want to hold on a little longer and a little tighter. This Christmas that is what I plan to do. Treasure every moment.